Our Analysis is No Joke… But the Jokes Are
Welcome! I’m glad you found us: We are Football Absurdity, and we study auction/salary cap drafts more than anyone else. Heck, I’m mocking right now (it’s making it really hard …
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And we figured out exactly when you should do it.
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Craig, Shane, Ryan, Walker Kelly, Waleed Ismail, Josh Chuboff, Evan Hoovler, and Tony. That’s a lot of people, but we managed to review the season, got Ryan to recommit to Derek …
Read More Shane, Ryan, Tony, and Craig are joined by Evan Hoovler of Football Absurdity to talk about special shoes, winning the Boston Marathon, and shooting at police helicopters!
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So we have a popular Discord where we give superflex auction/salary cap strategy advice. Lately, 9/10 people looking for advice have leagues with a glaring vulnerability that can be easily …
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Hello! Beer is taking the year off to handle some real-life stuff. But we’ve been working hard with the Beersheets dev, and we have a replacement that does exactly the …
Read MoreI’ve been running auctions with all humans to get data that hasn’t been infested by horribly-bidding bots. It lives here: 10-Team All-Human Auction Data 12-Team All-Human Auction Data
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Click here if you want to jump directly to my strategy and skip my sharing of my thoughts which are TOTALLY NORMAL AND NEITHER “UNHINGED” NOR “INSANE,” ANNIE! I’m going …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout July and August. Rachaad White finished 2022 as RB38 …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout July and August. Let’s talk about Trevor Lawrence, or …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout July and August. Today, we take a look at …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout July and August. In the last half of the …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout July and August. Kirk Cousins was QB7 last year. …
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Click here if you just want the chart as a printable pdf and don’t want to read how to use it. Good luck. I have trouble playing in fantasy football …
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Click here if you just want the chart as a printable pdf and don’t want to read how to use it. Good luck. I have trouble playing in fantasy football …
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After only 15 picks in your salary cap/auction draft, this tool will tell you which WR is going to go for a steal, later.
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When doing an online auction using ESPN or Yahoo, the two most popular sources, it’s important to know the differences. For instance, last year, ESPN was criminally low on both …
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There comes a time in every now-collapsed society when a symbol appears of their impending doom: Hawaiians seeing the ships of European explorers bringing all sorts of new disease over …
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It may be May, but I’ve already been hard at work researching actual mock auction data. I’ve done five 10-team mocks with almost all or all humans (I don’t have …
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Evan Hoovler’s annual Discord Darling reveal is here! Will this player be the next 2020 Josh Allen (also a Hoovler Discord Darling)?
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Evan Hoovler and Tony Martin step in with Mike Valverde and Walker Kelly to go over the fantasy and real-life implications of all 7 rounds of the 2023 NFL draft. …
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Evan Hoovler breaks down the 2023 rookie quarterbacks for Superflex redraft leagues.
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Evan Hoovler and Tony Martin step in with Mike Valverde and Walker Kelly to do the very last possible mock draft! Let’s go, NFL Draft! We invite you to join …
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Football Absurdity’s Evan Hoovler takes a dive into the 5 teams he thinks could draft Bijan Robinson and immediately vault him into fantasy football super-stardom.
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Congrats on making the finals, or condolences on making the third-place game in your leagues! I want to do my best to make sure you cross the finish line, so …
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Let’s start by reviewing how I did last week. I have not been looking forward to this, but now it’s going to happen. Right after the end of this sentence …
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Let’s start by reviewing last week’s calls QB: Start Jared Goff. Finished: QB3 That’s a hit! Sit Daniel Jones Finished: QB11 That’s a miss! RB: Start D’Onta Foreman Finished: RB24 …
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I’m taking over this slot from Jeff Krisko. So get ready to be in awe of my laser-accurate predictions! Unless I’m wrong, then let’s blame Jeff. It is week 14 …
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If you’ve never heard of my BBQ salary cap strategy, here’s the elevator pitch: It’s a simple, repeatable method to ensure you leave your salary cap draft with a competitive …
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Making a great fantasy football salary cap team is just like budgeting and buying items for a barbecue. If that abstract analogy has been enough to already convince you, download the …
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Hi! If you don’t know me by now: I’m Evan Hoovler, the hardest mockin’ person in the Salary Cap Business! I mock so much. Today my doctor told me to …
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Hi! I’m Evan Hoovler. If you don’t know me by now: I’m that guy who mock salary cap drafts all the time. Like All. The. Time. My wife says it’s …
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If you’ve never heard of my BBQ salary cap strategy, here’s the elevator pitch: It’s a simple, repeatable method to ensure you leave your salary cap draft with a competitive …
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Last updated: 7/16/22 **CONFIDENTIAL** This is for Football Absurdity readers only. If you are a member of my Big Money League KEEP OUT! In 2019 I was bummed: I hadn’t …
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You probably came here because you want a 2022 fantasy football salary cap values chart that you can use to easily stay competitive in your league without studying too hard. …
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Trying to find another of those classic out-of-the-box solutions for which he is known, Urban Meyer proclaimed that every player on his team must change their first name to have …
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Despite going 12-for-26 on Thursday Night Football, Jalen Hurts was all smiles in his post-game press conference. “I put a lot of great tape out there,” Hurts commented in response …
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After taking over in the third quarter of yesterday’s Thursday Night Football, Geno Smith put on an amazing 98-yard drive. I’m calling it now: He will win the 2021 NFL …
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Four games into the regular season, it’s clear the new Jacksonville HC has a severe case of what scientists are calling Seanpeytonitis. Namely, Meyer makes decisions not based on what …
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[Co-Authors: Norman Berg, Nick Carter, Joshua H., Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Karl Leslie, Jason Lu, Amanda Rez, Bryan Sclar, and Zach] It’s that time of the year! Well, actually, it’s …
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Animal rights activists are hootin’ about an alleged safari undertaken by the Carolina Panthers on Thursday Night. The NFC South first-place team cornered a wild Giraffe and threw him to …
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[Co-written by Ken Bakken, Norman Berg, Nick Carter, Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Joseph Leszkowicz, Jason Lu, Tony Martin, Amanda Rez, Bryan Sclar, and Zach (just Zach)] No, these aren’t team names …
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Evan’s note: All apologies for the rougher format of this one. Our usual producer was called out of town suddenly and Skype went utterly haywire in the beginning. The content …
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[This list written by: Ken Bakken, Norman Berg, Joseph Leszkowicz, Joshua H, Evan Hoovler, and Bryan Sclar] We’re back for the newest iteration of our ongoing Covid fantasy football team names. …
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I’m going to say something that sounds crazy, and you are going to say, “you’re a liar!” Then I’m going to say, “no really, it’s true!” Then you’re going to …
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Justin Fields is adjusting to his new football life in Chicago just fine, but that’s not the only sport he’s interested in. Fields could not be reached for contact, Wednesday. …
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Scientists at Football Absurdity Labs released a stunning research paper earlier today. By carefully simulating the NFL season, they were able to conclusively determine that this year’s biggest fantasy football …
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More info is coming out about Tom Brady’s superhuman 2020 year. It turns out that his knee tear wasn’t the only thing that had to be taped into place. Sources …
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Here’s the scuttlebutt: In attempts to get their star players to clear the NFL Covid protocol, some teams have resorted to treachery. That’s the scuttle. The issue deals with where …
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Football Absurdity recently partnered with our favorite forums: SomethingAwful.com. The goal was simple: Fill a 2QB auction with 10 managers who would stick around for at least most of the …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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Kev Mahserejian (@rotosurgeon) of The Operating Room Podcast, The Game Day, and Rotoballer, Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone), Jeff Krisko (@jeffkrisko), and Walker Kelly (@bigdaddydrix) in today’s episode to discuss the NFC …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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BEERSHEETS ARE LIVE Jeff will be doing a live stream with @Beersheets to show off our shiny new toy on Wednesday afternoon at twitch.tv/footballabsurdity. Follow and Subscribe so you don’t …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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This profile is sponsored by Vinnie’s Pizzaria. Mention this player profile when you order a pizza for a free topping of corn! As we gear up to the start of …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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Are you ready for Football Absurdity to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy football drafts? Will Trevor Lawrence make a fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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The boys welcome in Joe Pisapia (@JoePisapia17) of Fantasy Pros, the Fantasy Football Black Books and Fantasy Baseball Black Books, and Sports Grid to the podcast! He joins Mike (@rflredzone), …
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An incident has set afire the always chic and modern fashion capital known as Green Bay, Wisconsin. Quarterback Aaron Rodgers finally attended the Packers’ minicamp on Wednesday morning. He was …
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The year was 2019, and something was wrong. I know, I know: Something incredibly wrong was coming in 2020, but this is an article about fantasy football, keep up. In …
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Evan (@evanhoovler) returns to the podcast! He joins Mike (@rflredzone), Walker (@bigdaddydrix), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) to discuss the best value picks from rounds 6 through 10, as well as some …
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(Updated 8/27/2021) IMPORTANT: We strongly recommend you read the strategy part of this article. If you skip straight to the 2021 fantasy football auction values chart, then bid to each …
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Waleed (@iamthewaleed) joins Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone), Jeff Krisko (@jeffkrisko), and Walker Kelly (@bigdaddydrix) in today’s episode to do their first post-NFL draft mock draft. You can find the results here! If …
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I usually do Yahoo mock auctions (and auctions at several other platforms) to get a feel about how auctions could flow. I amass hundreds of mocks then use that data …
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Greetings, humans (and that NFL articles bot, you know whom you are!) So there’s this website, nflinsidenews. WARNING: If you go there, say no to every single popup. They copy-paste …
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The 2021 NFL schedule is here! This is the first time I actually start to seriously consider the landscape of fantasy football auction strategies. Every other analyst will do this …
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The moon landing… The Nixon-Kennedy debate… that thing when Geraldo went into a mental hospital and found dozens of naked, fecal-caked inmates. Monumental moments in broadcasting. This pantheon of greatness …
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You may have not even thought about 2021 auction strategy tips yet. But I have been thinking about it since January. Now that the NFL draft has concluded, I am …
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Throughout the modern era, carnival barkers have used freak show exhibits to bring in paying customers. Jacksonville coach Urban Meyer is continuing this tradition. The Jags are signing former QB …
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The boys have a special guest! Kent Platte (@MathBomb) joins Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone), Jeff Krisko (@jeffkrisko), and Walker Kelly (@bigdaddydrix) in today’s episode. The guys discuss Kent’s Relative Athletic Score …
Read More You might be planning on printing out these 2021 superflex dynasty auction values. You might be thinking of sitting at the auction table, bidding up to the values listed on …
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Big to-doin’s in Phoenix today. The Arizona GOP has contracted a company named Binary Samurai to go over the results of the 2015 NFL MVP vote. That vote saw Carolina’s …
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If you’re like me, you currently have mock fantasy football auctions open in three different windows. Yeah, you’re not like me. And that’s great! Let me do all the hard …
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May 5, 2021 Statement by Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America I will not be continuing my career with the Green Bay “Meat” Packers. Many …
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All across the United States, citizens took to the streets to celebrate the return of Mock auction drafts. Spontaneous dance parties broke out, and many were moved to tears. “I’m …
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After trading up to the third pick in the 2021 NFL draft, the 49ers seemed honed in on taking a quarterback. Then they were linked to Mac Jones. Then everybody …
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Seriously, people! My neighbors always know when my newest mock draft is published. They aren’t football fans or anything: They can just tell because a slew of TAXPAYER FUNDED vehicles …
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This article brought to you by Laverne’s (TM) Steakhouse: Now serving women! Only at Laverne’s (TM)! The anticipation is palpable as fans everywhere gear up for Thursday’s NFL Draft. Speculation abounds as to where …
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This article brought to you by Laverne’s (TM) Steakhouse: The lead chef doesn’t wash his hands, so don’t order the pork. Only at Laverne’s (TM)! The world was floored by an epidemic of such …
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This article brought to you by Laverne’s (TM) Steakhouse: I once scored a dime of black tar in their bathroom. Only at Laverne’s (TM)! Rather than reach for Mac “Aroni” Jones, the 49ers …
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This article brought to you by Laverne’s (TM) Steakhouse: Mention this site and enjoy $1 off a plate of horrible food that will give you guaranteed diarrhea! Only at Laverne’s (TM)! A career …
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It’s almost time for the NFL draft when analysts collectively emerge from their three-month nap. Stay ahead of them with our first 2021 fantasy sleepers list. Dominate the late rounds …
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Things went from worse to worserer for longtime Patriot slotman Julian Edelman. The three-time Super Bowl champ announced his retirement after getting released by the Patriots for failing his physical. …
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Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone), Jeff Krisko (@jeffkrisko), and Walker Kelly (@bigdaddydrix) get back on the normal schedule for the podcast by talking about the 2021 rookie wide receiver class, with their …
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Fresh off his successful hosting of Jeopardy!!!!! Aaron Rodgers expressed plans to create more of a footprint into the game show universe. “I could turn those letters around faster than anyone,” Rodgers …
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In 1972, the Atlanta Falcons drafted John Wayne. We expect a similar celebrity pick in the first round of the 2021 NFL draft. Roger Goodell will approach the podium and …
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Fresh on the heels of adding a 17th game to the schedule, the NFL has announced more plans to tinker. Roger Goodell says the NFL is exploring the idea of …
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Adam Gase can finally roleplay being a head coach again! The latest edition of Dungeons & Dragons, which I am totally too cool to know what it is, will feature …
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While the middle of April is usually the deadest period for breaking NFL news, 2021 is turning out differently. New Texan Shaq Lawson learned of the team’s switch from 3-4 …
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Mock 2021 NFL Draft Part 1 Mock 2021 NFL Draft Part 2 Wow! We’ve finally reached the end of our 1-round Mock 2021 NFL Draft! Peachy! For those of you …
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2021 Mock NFL Draft. Part 1 Will the QB streak continue? Here we go with picks 13-24 of the 2021 NFL Draft! 2021 Mock NFL Draft Part 2 13. Los …
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We spent the entire week feeding analytics into our Super Computer and uppers into our analysts. The result is the most advanced 2021 NFL mock draft you will find without …
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Penn State recently had their Pro Day. Aspiring NFL draft prospects could show scouts how they would do if there was a Combine. Among them was top-rated linebacker Micah Parsons. …
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Evan Hoovler (@evanhoovler), Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone), Jeff Krisko (@jeffkrisko), and Walker Kelly (@bigdaddydrix) finish their talk about the free agency period with part two of their free agency frenzy covering …
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Not content with flipping draft picks more often than a pillow on a hot night, Miami announced a new trade Monday. The extravagant Miami Dolphins trade involves several other teams, …
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The NFL Combine for coaches was held this week, and a lot of NFL teams are rethinking their leadership. The disappointing performance of over 30 head coaches in Combine activities …
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You know how on a hot day you don’t want to jump in the kiddy pool in your backyard because it’s too cold? So you wait around until it warms …
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For decades, the National Institute of Standards and Technology has maintained the official Irony Meter. Sitting right next to the Atomic Clock, the Irony Meter (IM) detects when things are …
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With NFL free agency hitting its second week, veteran receiver T.Y. Hilton has not signed with a team. He recently opened up to media about his absent contract, claiming it …
Read More The pandemic is not quite over, and the National Football League is doing its part to prevent another outbreak. In recent years, the NFL draft was held in Philadelphia and …
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Bears QB legends will be on full display, as the team unveiled a special hall-of-fame room dedicated to the position. Diehard Chicago fans cut the opening ribbon after moving aside …
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There has been a flurry of Patriots signings within the past 48 hours, and that storm doesn’t seem to be waning. Early Tuesday morning, New England reached an agreement to …
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Drew Brees retires and makes huge headlines. A far smaller story is that Taysom Hill renegotiated his contract. The new contract is four years, $140 million BUT the Saints can …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone) and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) talk about the 2020 rookies before looking forward to free agency next week. If you want to hear more, …
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This week, the Kansas City Chiefs released their two starting tackles and starting center. It’s a shocking offensive line move some are calling a huge vote of confidence for their …
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The NFL awarded draft slots for teams that lost free agents in 2020. Four Cowboys compensatory picks were given. “We’ve hit the jackpot!” Exclaimed team owner Jerry Jones, whose Wikipedia …
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Erectile dysfunction commercials talk about seeing a doctor if you put a pill in your mouth and you have an erection lasting more than four hours. But what if you …
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In quantum physics, there is a theorem called the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Basically, the more we analyze a confusing system, the more uncertain that system becomes. This is as applicable …
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The NFL’s worst-performing franchise, the Jacksonville Jaguars, issued the franchise tag designation on local fan Sam Simma. The longtime Jacksonville native recently gained fame as the only Floridian who doesn’t …
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Mona Charen is policy editor for The Bulwark magazine because that is apparently a real job. She once said, “I think we should probably retire the phrase ‘cancel culture’ at this …
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Someone recently looked at the landscape of sports and decided that this time a new football league wouldn’t implode into yet another giant mess. The FCF is a new football …
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Normally by this time, the NFL Combine would have wrapped. Tons of numbers would be available reflecting speed tests, strength tests, and drug screenings. Pundits would be debating stats and …
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It’s been a tough road for New York Jets fans: Their head coach and offensive coordinator were horrible. They haven’t had a reliable long-term quarterback since humans first walked on …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone) and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) are joined by Walker Kelly (@bigdaddydrix) in his debut episode of the podcast to talk coaching hires and so …
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Super Bowl 2021 Facts Those are our final batch of 2021 Super Bowl facts! This concludes our fascinating facts for the season. But it …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone) and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) talk about the AFC and NFC Championship Games and the inevitable march toward death that will be dotted with …
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So that’s part one of our facts about the 2021 Super Bowl. I have to write another one next week. I say, “have …
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2021 Conference Championships Facts That’s it for 2021 conference championships facts. The next two weeks I’ll have delicious Super Bowl …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone) and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) talk about the first round of the playoffs, give some picks, and look forward to the divisional round’s games …
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2021 NFL Divisional Playoffs Facts Those sure were some interesting 2021 divisional playoffs facts, huh? There were 11 of them! Fact: 11 is a number. Bonus Fact: 300 is the …
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That there are NFL playoffs at all is the best of these 2021 wild card facts! Well, recalibrate your fascin-o-meters, because it’s here. We’ve got a whopping 6 different wild-card …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone) and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) give out some awards for Best Waiver Wire Pickup, Worst Waiver Wire Pickup, Best Double Digit Round Pickup, Biggest …
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This list was co-written by Ken Bakken, Nick Carter, Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Karl Leslie, Jason Lu, Amanda Rez, and Bryan Sclar. Congrats on winning your fantasy football league! Hopefully, you …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Mike Valverde (@RFLredzone) and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss a full slate of fantasy football goodness for the Christmas weekend and the fantasy football championships. This podcast …
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Holiday movies make for the perfect fantasy appeal. After all, they evoke nostalgia and sentiment. When your fantasy football opponent sees your team name, it will cause them to remember …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Mike Valverde (@RFLrezone) and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week 14, review TNF and submit their DFS lineups for week 15 This podcast is sponsored …
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It’s that time of the week when we read crazy comments about the NFL to distract us from our day jobs (reading crazy comments about politics). Since the season is …
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It’s a good time for holiday gift fantasy football team names! This list was co-authored by Ken Bakken, Evan Hoovler, and Joseph Leszkowicz. Like capitalism, Santa Claus is our God …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Waleed (@IamTheWaleed) and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week 14, review TNF and submit their DFS lineups for week 14. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MIKE! This …
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It’s time for another week of Hot Takes, this time from Crazy People. Actually, it’s from crazy people every time, because those takes are hilarious. Like this one: It’s sad because they make …
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This Santa Claus fantasy football team names list co-written by: Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Jason Lu, Amanda Rez, and Bryan Sclar Now, Dissler! Now, Dancler! Now, Prater and Mixon! On, Kmet! On Kuppid! …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week 13, review the weird Wednesday Football game and submit their DFS lineups for week 13. This …
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Hot Takes from Crazy People is where I take a look at the most hilariously outrageous comments in articles about the NFL. Josh Gordon has been cleared to return to …
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Not just Christmas song fantasy team names, we’ve got other holiday themes, too! This list was co-authored by: Ken Bakken, Nick Carter, Evan Hoovler, Amanda Rez, and Bryan Sclar The …
Read More Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week 12, review the two games that actually happened on Thanksgiving, discuss the Baltimore Plaguens, and submit …
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So a bizarre fantasy happening, even for 2020, transpired over the past week. It happened on ESPN regarding Taysom Hill’s tight end eligibility. We’re going to break it down step …
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[This list co-authored by Ken Bakken, Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Amanda Rez, and Bryan Sclar] Saying “2020 is weird” would be the understatement of the year. But one thing that’s …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week ten, recap SEA-ARI Thursday Night Football Matchup. Finally, they submit their DFS lineups! This podcast is …
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These are the times that try Evan Hoovler’s souls. First of all, I get a lot of these Hot Takes from Crazy People from FoxNews. However, a lot of people …
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This breakout players fantasy football team names list co-written by: Ken Bakken, Evan Hoovler, Joseph Leszkowicz, Jason Lu, and Amanda Rez This week, our team names list focuses on fantasy football breakout …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week ten, recap the actually-good TEN-IND Thursday Night Football Matchup. What do we do with Jonathan Taylor? …
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Welcome to my weekly culling of crazy hot takes in NFL articles on The Internet! Fun fact: This series was originally pitched as “Friday Football Freakshow,” which is why it …
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This beer-themed fantasy team names list written by: Ken Bakken, Evan Hoovler, Joseph Leszkowicz, Nick Carter, Amanda Rez, and Bryan Sclar If you like fantasy football, you’ll LOVE feeling soul-crushing …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week nine, recap the truly dreadful Thursday Night Football matchup between the 49ers and the Packers. Finally, …
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Welcome to Hot Takes from Crazy People! This is where I find hysterically horrendous comments in articles about the NFL, all to justify my drinking problem! The following unbearably sexist comment, …
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[This list was written by Ken Bakken, Nick Carter, Evan Hoovler, Joseph Leszkowicz, Jason Lu, Amanda Rez, and Bryan Sclar] If you’re like me, when you’re not fishing cigarettes out …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week eight, recap the truly dreadful Thursday Night Football matchup between the Panthers and the Falcons. Jeff …
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Welcome to a spooooky and weeeeeeird Hot Takes from Crazy People. This column is where I curate the funniest left-field comments from articles about the NFL. A lot of people …
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It’s time for fantasy football’s week 8 puzzles. These will tease your brain so hard you might end up in the concussion protocol! 1. Name that Player With 3 touchdowns …
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This Halloween Fantasy Team Names List Was Written by Ken Bakken, Nick Carter, Evan Hoovler, Joseph Leszkowicz, Amanda Rez, Bryan Sclar, and Julia Tang What a season it’s been for our …
Read More Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week seven, recap the truly dreadful Thursday Night Football matchup between the Giants and Eagles. Finally, they …
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It’s another round of Hot Takes from Crazy People, a public service we do to remind people not to go into internet comments sections. It’s not safe, you might run into …
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Fantasy football puzzles, week 7 edition! The Eagles-Giants game has the potential to cause a lobotomy. Let’s keep our brains sharp for the weekends’ sit/start decisions with some mind teasers. …
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[This list written by Ken Bakken, Nick Carter, Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Joseph Leszkowicz, Amanda Rez, and Bryan Sclar] Something about this highly contagious pandemic makes us think about taking goodies …
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Dad, here, with the week 6 injury report! Yes I am your real dad and I’ll prove it: “Hi hungry, I’m Dad!” Who else would know that one but your …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week six, Lev Bell ruining CEH’s season, the incessant coronavirus news, Evan gets a nickname repeatedly vetoed …
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Welcome to Hot Takes from Crazy People, where I collect hilariously off-target posts from articles about the NFL. Most of this week’s Hot Takes comes from one Facebook post, but …
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In our fantasy football puzzles, Week 6 edition, we’ve got a trio of new head-scratchers that touch on the subjects of words, logic, and fun! 1. Common Ground What NFL-related …
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[Written by: Ken Bakken, Nick Carter, Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Karl Leslie, Joseph Leszkowicz, Jason Lu, Bryan Sclar, and Julia Tang] October means horror movie fantasy football team names. This October means a …
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First of all: I resent the title Week 5 Injury Report by a Guy with Every Inferiority Complex. That’s just fake news by the mainstream media who wants to downplay the …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss fantasy football week five, the incessant coronavirus news, and an old man forgetting what he was doing during the …
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Coming in for a landing like a plane crash, it’s this week’s Hot Takes from Crazy People. For those of you new to this mind-voiding series, this is where I …
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It’s a great month for those who hold stock in large, bolded font because politics and pandemics are making headlines at record rates! That’s why we quickly brainstormed this COVID-19/debate …
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It’s time for fantasy football puzzles: week 5 edition! If you like fantasy football, and you also like puzzles, you’ll love these. If not, you’re mean! Puzzle 1: Commonalities A. …
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[This list written by: Ken Bakken, Nick Carter, Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Karl Leslie, Joseph Leszkowicz, Jason Lu, and Amanda Rez] Video games give the player the illusion of control. This …
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Alright: Week 4 injury report time. Let’s get through this before I’m too inebriated to type. An exciting race against time! Week 4 Injury Report Quarterbacks “Is Jimmy Garoppolo playing?” …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) kick off the week four podcast discussion with the Titans-Steelers COVID postponement. Then, they talk the Thursday Night Football Broncos-Jets …
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Welcome Hot Takes from Crazy People: Thank You, Mr. President. This is where I comb the comments sections of articles about the NFL to find the hottest, worst opinions. One …
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Welcome to our week 4 fantasy football puzzles page! For those of you who may be new to these puzzles, let me explain: These are puzzles that involve fantasy football. Sometimes they …
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[This list written by Ken Bakken, Evan Hoovler, Joseph Leszkowicz, Jason Lu, Bryan Sclar, and Julia Tang] Trump! Biden! U.S. presidential debate fantasy football team names! Restating the title of …
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[Written by Ken Biddek, Nick Carter, Evan Hoovler, Joseph Leszkowicz, Karl Leslie, Jason Lu, Amanda Rez, and Bryan Sclar] This list of presidential election fantasy football team names makes me …
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Whattup, subscribers: It’s ya’ boy, Shakey here. Comin’ in hot with the week three injury report stuffed FULL of all the “forsooth’s” and “thine’s” you can handle. Week Three Injury …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) kick off the week three podcast discussion with the Thursday Night Football Jags-Dolphins matchup ramifications. What did TNF mean for …
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Welcome to Hot Takes from Crazy People: Trump Twenny Twenny. This is where I comb through the comments section of articles about the NFL, armed with only my laptop and a …
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It’s the middle of the week, we are on an island as far away from Sunday’s boatload of games as possible. To keep your minds sharp, try these week 3 …
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[This list was written by Ken Bakken, Nick Carter, Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Karl Leslie, Bryan Sclar] We did Pokemon fantasy football team names a few weeks ago. Pokemon means …
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Each Saturday we have a guest author write the Football Absurdity injury report. This author is totally, 100% real and not just a product of Evan Hoovler’s fragmented, hungover mind. …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss week two and the Thursday Night Football Browns-Bengals matchup ramifications. What did TNF mean for the Browns running backs? …
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[This list was collectively written by Ken Bakken, Jimmy Brown, Nick Carter, Bruce Hardstone, Evan Hoovler, Karl Leslie, Jason Lu, Bryan Sclar, and Julia Tang] Welcome to our weekly series! …
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Welcome to NFL Hot Takes from Crazy People, the series where I dive into comments sections for articles about the NFL, go insane, drink a lot, sober up, drink a …
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1. Fantasy Football Puzzles: Crossword These fantasy football puzzles reflect top performances in week 1. Use your super-smart brains to solve all of them then share them with your leaguemates …
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Joyous tidings, everyone! I’ve just taken a break from baking a soufflé with my wife and sons to bring you the week 1 injury report. Before I begin, remember: Life …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss THE FIRST WEEK OF FANTASY FOOTBALL and the Thursday Night Football Chiefs-Texans matchup ramifications. What did TNF mean for …
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Welcome to Hot Takes from Crazy People, where I trawl the comments section of NFL articles to find you the most entertainingly out-to-lunch posts. “The void” is currently “gazing into …
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Authors: Jason Lu, Bryan Sclar, Evan Hoovler, Jimmy Brown, Julia Tang, and Nick Carter Helaire for Trub-le And Mack it double To protect the Gurld from Devinstation To unite all …
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Fantasy Football Puzzles #1: Busted Bot The first of our fantasy football puzzles concerns a bot you’re drafting with. It has a really weird rule for every player they pick. …
Read More The guys run through the news of the week and PLANT SOME DANG FLAGS IN SOME PLAYERS This podcast is sponsored by FAN DUEL. Go ahead and get into the …
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Auction strategy for 14 team leagues has a few key, but easy to figure out, differences than auctions for smaller leagues, and we’ve got a winning strategy! For those who are …
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How to Win at Fantasy Football I know the secret of how to win at fantasy football. I have won every league I’ve been in, beaten every head-to-head opponent I’ve …
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I put a lot of thought into this 2 QB fantasy football auction strategy guide, but I put even more thought into which cutesy pun to put into the title. …
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Welcome to Drafts On Tap, where I record me running through my fantasy football auction strategy with ample commentary. We now have a permanent co-host! Every week, Football Absurdity co-owner …
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COVID Fantasy Football Team Names These COVID fantasy football team names were co-authored by Jimmy Brown, Evan Hoovler, Jason Lu, and Bryan Sclar Please note: We are in no way making …
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A lot of people have been hopping into our Discord to ask for tweaks on BBQ strategy, my 2020 fantasy football auction values chart, their specific league settings, and Grrl …
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Welcome to Drafts On Tap, where I record me doing an entire mock auction with ample commentary. We now have a permanent co-host! Every week, Football Absurdity co-owner Waleed Ismail …
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BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN TO THE FANTASY FOOTBALL AUCTION VALUES PLEASE NOTE: These fantasy football auction values aren’t to be used like rankings sheets. This is because they are to …
Read More Updated 7/30/20 New: Watch me do a live mock auction with commentary every Friday at 6 PM PST. Check out past recordings, here. Welcome, one and all, to our most …
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Welcome to Drafts On Tap, where I record me doing an entire mock auction with ample commentary. In this inaugural episode I encounter the first-ever deviancy from what I thought was …
Read More Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Mike (@RFLRedZone), and Jeff (@JeffKrisko) continue their running back series. What do the new NFL and NFLPA guidelines for training camp mean for players? Who …
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The Award Curse is the increased likelihood for a player to have a down year after winning a big award like MVP or Rookie of the Year. Actually, “award curse” …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), Waleed (@IAmTheWaleed), and Jeff (@JeffKrisko) talk all about auctions. Strategy, thoughts, values, and all manner of minutiae! Check out Evan’s Auction Values and his Barbecue …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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Updated 7/4/20 Welcome, one and all, to our most popular article that doesn’t have “Beersheets” in the title! It’s the 2020 fantasy football auction values chart! If you want an …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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All Rise for the Fantasy Football Auction Mock Report for June 19, 2020! “Will you mock a little faster?” said an owner to a drafter, “There’s a player I hate …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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Welcome, one and all, to our most popular article series that doesn’t have “Beersheets” in the title! It’s the 2020 fantasy football auction values chart! This is my second go-around …
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CeeAs we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More Welcome, one and all, to our most popular article series that doesn’t have “Beersheets” in the title! It’s the 2020 fantasy football auction values chart! There’s a reason our auction …
Read More
As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More
As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More Mike (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@JeffKrisko) review some mid-round picks with top-three round upside! Congratulations to Evan Hoovler for winning the Fantasy Football Writers’ Association Fantasy …
Read More This is a weekly series where I detail the evolution of the fantasy football auction landscape. I do this based on my extensive mock drafting each week. The purpose is …
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2020 rookie fantasy football team names list co-authored by Jimmy Brown, Karl Leslie, Jason Lu, and Bryan Sclar I love this painstakingly-written 2020 rookie fantasy football team name list. I …
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Mike (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@JeffKrisko) are joined by Waleed Ismail (@IamTheWaleed) to do a 12 team, three-wide receiver, half-PPR mock draft! Congratulations to Evan Hoovler …
Read More Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@JeffKrisko) take a look back at round one of the 2020 NFL Draft. Congratulations to Evan Hoovler for winning the Fantasy …
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The 2020 NFL Draft is tonight! Hooray! I’m so excited to get together with the rest of the Football Absurdity writing team and workshop all the jokes we will be …
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Draft Day is tomorrow! Sports stuff will finally happen! Dallas not making the playoffs was a bizarre twist last season, one they should be focusing their entire strategy on preventing …
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Someone has to win the NFC East. It could be you, it could be me, it could even be the New York Giants. With that goal in mind, we set …
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The Arizona Cardinals will be the most over-promoted team of the 2020 season. Frankly, I’m not going to do anything to slow that momentum train down. I love the Cardinals …
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I shouldn’t come down on the Bengals too negatively: They had one of the best free agency periods in terms of shoring up their many, many holes. They made key …
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Take a look at the offense in anticipation of this Chargers mock draft. The Los Angeles Chargers is almost the complete package when it comes to moving the ball. They’ve …
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Alright, Bears fans, it’s time to face reality: You’d better put some support around Trubisky or else announce Foles as the starter. So we took a look at some likely …
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The moon is made of green cheese, which is why the 2019 Packers defense seemed to shift like the tides. They made it all the way to the NFC Championship …
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I tried out fanspeak.com to emulate a Las Vegas Raiders mock draft, with me picking for the newly minted Las Vegas Raiders. The 2020 NFL Draft is coming soon, and …
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Jeff may or may not have the coronavirus so Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Waleed (@IamTheWaleed) take a look at 2020 fantasy football free agency with some …
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The Raiders signed Marcus Mariota. Speaking of signs: I have a little sign at my desk. It says, “This fan has gone ____ days without giving up on the Raiders’ …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) take a look at 2020 fantasy football free agency with some preferred destinations for wide receivers and running backs. They …
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Garth Brooks wore a Barry Sanders shirt at a concert in Michigan. He was clearly doing it to honor Detroit, home of Motown: The soulful source of lots of country …
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Scott Fish is an amazing person. He has a foundation that connects fantasy football to charity. The heart of it all is his annual GIANT league, called the Scott Fish …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) take a look back while also keeping an eye on the future with a review Congratulations to Evan Hoovler for …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss too early 2020 sleepers and their favorite fast food places! Congratulations to Evan Hoovler for winning the Fantasy Football …
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I want the XFL to succeed. Competition helps more than it hurts, and it usually has a positive effect on the employees (players, coaches, staff, etc.) The key to a …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) return from hiatus to discuss Super Bowl LIV, and to do some good old fashioned prop bets. Congratulations to Evan …
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With contributions by Bryan Sclar and Karl Leslie Super Bowl LIV is here, which means that it’s time for everyone to participate in some light grey market, semi-legal sports gambling. …
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Who Is in the 2020 Super Bowl Halftime Show
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It’s almost time for Super Bowl LIV, which means it’s time for another round of Fascinating Facts! I looked at last year’s Super Bowl facts article, and I realized we …
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We made our Super Bowl LIV picks back in December, and now it’s time to revise our opinions for the two teams that made it. Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity’s Editor-in-Chief, …
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The Super Bowl is nigh! Who could have predicted the Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers would square off in Miami come February? Firstly, me, baby, that’s who. I’ve …
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It’s time for the 2020 AFC and NFC Championship games, and we have all the favorites to be here (except Baltimore). In fact, Tennessee’s monster playoff run has been chock …
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Welcome to Hot Takes from Crazy People, where I brave the dangerous and mind-altering comments sections from NFL articles to bring you comedy gold. First, a word from our sponsor: …
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It’s the 2020 NFL Divisional Round and I’ve got all-original facts! But first, I have a question: Why is it called the DIVISIONAL round of the playoffs? Seattle and San …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) look back on their preseason predictions and take a look forward at the 2020 NFL Wild Card weekend matchups. You …
Read More Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) give out their season-long awards for the 2019 Fantasy Football season You can find our Beersheets Teepublic shirt here. Click …
Read More Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss THE LAST WEEK OF FANTASY FOOTBALL and what it means going into 2020. Finally, they submit their DFS lineups! …
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Time for Hot Takes from Crazy People, where I find the craziest comments from NFL articles. I’ll just mosey on over to Yahoo! NFL and take a look. Hmm, what’s …
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Shame, NFL… SHAME! Your bow-tie wearing Pro Bowl voters eating filet mignon in their ivory towers have utterly disconnected from what makes a player great. There’s no excuse for the …
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This week for my start or sit article, I’ll be spotlighting wide receivers ranked around the middle of the pack. I will let you know my thoughts on them, and …
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Co-authors Bryan Sclar and Jimmy Brown You did it! You won your fantasy football championship! Congratulations, but your season is not quite done. Before clicking away from your league for …
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In week 15, Breshad Perriman finished as the top-scoring wide receiver. His three touchdown, 110-yard performance rewarded the rare owners who started him. Only owned in 11% of leagues, it’s …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss Ravens-Jets Thursday Night Football. Then, they preview fantasy football week 15. Finally, they submit their DFS lineups! You can …
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(This fantasy football injury report is guest-authored by A Guy Who Can Only Speak in Video Game Metaphors) Week 14 had frags galore, as a number of fantasy football studs …
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Should I Drop Jordan Howard? As of writing this, Jordan Howard sits at 72% ownership on Yahoo! That’s over 10x the odds that he has to start this season for …
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This week for my start or sit article, I’ll be spotlighting running backs ranked around the middle of the pack. I will let you know my thoughts on them, and …
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Should I Drop Latavius Murray? Fantasy football playoffs are here, and you all should be looking for players to drop in your roster to make room for the late-season hotness. …
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Waleed (@iamthewaleed), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss their field trip to Saints practice this week, the Bears- Cowboys Thursday Night Football. Then, they preview fantasy football …
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This week for my start or sit article, I’ll be spotlighting running backs ranked around the middle of the pack. I will let you know my thoughts on them, and …
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Co-authors: Bryan Sclar and Jason Lu The holidays are more than Christmas. It’s when Jewish people celebrate the rededication of a holy temple with Hanukkah, and Hanukkah fantasy football team …
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Should I Drop David Johnson? Hey, I get it: We invested a first-round pick into a known fantasy stud. It’s hard to consider dropping David Johnson for some waiver wire …
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Mike (@RFLredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss a full Thanksgiving slate. Then, they preview fantasy football week 13. Finally, they submit their DFS lineups! You can …
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Running back sleepers are becoming few and far between, as the war of attrition at the position is driving us further and further down depth charts, into truly bad players. …
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You lookin’ for week 13 quarterback sleepers? Don’t make eye contact. Just sit down. Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you’re a cop. Heard you were …
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We’re changing up the start or sit challenge scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: This week, I’ll be spotlighting quarterbacks ranked around the middle of the pack …
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(Christmas Fantasy Football Team Names co-authors: Bryan Sclar and Jason Lu) Forget 11 pipers piping and 12 drummers drumming, that sounds like the worst band, ever. I’d rather have the …
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Mike (@RFLredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) discuss a Houston-Indy TNF tilt that Mike definitely isn’t mad about. Then, they preview fantasy football week 12. Finally, they …
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Deals, Deals, DEALS! November is Quarterback month here at Football Absurdity! Our 2019 models need to be cleared to make room for the incoming 2020s, and that means we are …
Read More “Now is the Winter of our discontent,” Shakespeare once quipped about the lack of running back sleepers in his fantasy football league. While I can’t write it more poetically than …
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We’re changing up the start or sit challenge scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: This week, I’ll be spotlighting running backs ranked around 24th-30th and tell you …
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(co-author: Bryan Sclar) It’s time to roll out a Christmas list way too early, so that people say, “this is way too early to publish a Christmas fantasy football team …
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Waleed (@iamthewaleed), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) hold down the fort. First, they discuss a Cleveland-Pittsburgh TNF tilt that definitely didn’t verge on utter insanity. Then, they …
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We’re changing up the start or sit challenge scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: This week, I’ll be spotlighting quarterbacks ranked around 12th and tell you if …
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(co-authored by Bryan Sclar) Is your fantasy football team name still something Halloween-themed? Is it still <your name>’s Team? You’re an embarrassment to fantasy football and everyone in your league …
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Should I Drop AJ Green? 2019’s AJ Green is the fantasy football equivalent of the Oak Island Treasure. Everyone involved has kind of figured out he’s probably a frivolous, resource-consuming …
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Games Like Fantasy Football I’ve been receiving a lot of Hallmark sympathy cards in the mail, offering condolences on the death of my fantasy football teams. Don’t feel sympathy for …
Read More Mike (@rflredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) are all back together again. First, they review a Thursday Night Football Raiders-Chargers tilt that was both great, and also …
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We’re changing up the start or sit challenge scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: This week, I’ll be spotlighting quarterbacks ranked around 12th and tell you if …
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(The 2019 Thanksgiving Fantasy Football Team Names list was also co-authored by Evan Hoovler, Jeff Krisko, and Bryan Sclar) There has been a huge demand for our Halloween-themed fantasy football …
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Should I Pick up Josh Gordon? Week 9 is almost in the books, and it saw Josh Gordon moving to the Seahawks via getting dropped by the Patriots. This has …
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The famous German humorist Friedrich Nietzsche once quipped, “when you stare into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.” Well. when you shout into the abyss that is the …
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Mike (@rflredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) review a 49ers-Cardinals. Then they preview week nine, and submit their DFS Lineups! You can find our Beersheets Teepublic shirt …
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We’re changing up the scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: Starting this week I’ll be going against Yahoo! in predicting whether Jamaal Williams, J.D. McKissic, and Ronald …
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We’re changing up the scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: Matt Moore, Brandon Allen, and Ryan Fitzpatrick will all finish outside the top 12. In a 1 …
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Should I Trade CMC? In our free fantasy advice Discord, we’re being asked to weigh in on a lot of trade offers. CMC is easily the hottest fantasy player in …
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Each week I’ll be taking three similarly ranked players and tell you if they are a start (they will score more than the average for the player currently at the …
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Each week I’ll be taking three similarly ranked players and tell you if they are a start (they will score more than the average for the player currently at the …
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Should I Pick up Mohamed Sanu? We put out an Absurdity Check when we get a ton of the same question on our fantasy football advice Discord, and that question …
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Should I Drop Damien Williams? In our popular Discord for fantasy football advice, we are getting a lot of people asking “should I drop Damien Williams?” Our answer is a …
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Each week I’ll be taking three similarly ranked players and tell you if they are a start (they will score more than the average for the player currently at the …
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(co-authored by Bryan Sclar) There has been a huge demand for our Halloween-themed fantasy football team names, so we kept our team name production plant open late. These latest team …
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Week 6 in the NFL sees the Dallas Cowboys in freefall, having lost 3 straight games with a listless offense and banged-up defense. In our last preseason podcast, I picked …
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It’s almost the halfway point of the regular fantasy season, and still I’m seeing fantasy football “team names” like: This is the current, sad state of affairs in our Football …
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Mike (@rflredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) review a New England Patriots/New York Giants tilt that didn’t go how we thought, but actually went exactly how we …
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Each week I’ll be taking three similarly ranked players and tell you if they are a start (they will score more than the average for the player currently at the …
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Each week I’ll be taking three similarly ranked players and tell you if they are a start (they will score more than the average for the player currently at the …
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(Co-Authors: Waleed Ismail, Mike Maxwell, Bryan Sclar, Jeff Krisko and Jason Lu) Heyyy! We’ve been getting a lot of requests for a new Halloween-themed fantasy football team names list. So …
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It’s October. That means two things: pumpkin spice everything, and that we’re at the quarter mark of the fantasy season. It’s a time to look back and see who’s lived …
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Mike (@rflredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) review Green Bay & Philadelphia, preview week five, and submit their DFS Lineups! You can find our Beersheets Teepublic shirt …
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They really are. For this weeks batch of funny comments from not-so-okay NFL fans, I went to the Miami Dolphins official Facebook page: The Dolphins’ lost season has actually broken …
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(Co-Authors: Waleed Ismail, Mike Maxwell, Bryan Sclar, and Jason Lu) Time for our weekly dose of fantasy football team names. These week 5-centered team names are all taken from the …
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Last week’s start-or-sit got all 6 picks correct, while Yahoo only got 3. Let’s keep the streak going with some more start-or-sit advice! Each week I’ll be taking three similarly …
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Mike (@rflredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) review Green Bay & Philadelphia, preview week four, and submit their DFS Lineups! You can find our Beersheets teepublic shirt …
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Our start-or-sits where our expert tries to out-predict his wife are quite popular. So we wanted to see if we could do a piece that actually beats an industry-standard site. …
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[co-written by Bryan Sclar, Grady Standard, and Tulley Rafferty] Every Bob Marley song can be a fantasy football team name. That’s what we found out when we decided to try …
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On our free advice Discord, we’re getting a lot of questions about trades from owners who are in a “win now” situation. Should you make a trade if you’re 0-3? …
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My butt hurts. I’m sitting here, on a pillow, and there’s a faint smell of blood in the air. I’m scared to check. I’m scared to look at that bloody, …
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Mike (@rflredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) review Jacksonville & Tennessee, preview week three, and submit their week three DFS Lineups! You can find our Beersheets teepublic …
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The #Patriots have released WR Antonio Brown, as he indicated on Twitter. They have moved on.— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) September 20, 2019 Multiple sources have confirmed that the Patriots have …
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Comments on articles about Gardner Minshew news really bring out the polarizing opinions: Really crazy vs. just kinda crazy. I might not need any more articles than this Jay Busbee …
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Here at Football Absurdity, we’re always scanning the Internet to find the funniest, weirdest NFL stuff. So when we saw this Dolphins prop bet at the extremely-boring named SportsInteraction.com, we …
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(co-authors: Jeff Krisko and Bryan Sclar) Tuesday during the fantasy football season means it’s time for some important decision. No choice is more important than what your funny fantasy football …
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Does Ben Roethlisberger Need Surgery? Ben Roethlisberger has an elbow injury that might need surgery. However, rather than throw millions away by having their star quarterback sit out the season, …
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Week 2 has happened, and now it’s time for the overreactions! Not about dropping Carson Wentz, though, he’s broken. Let’s take a look at some of the strongest opinions in …
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My dad died six months ago. I remember standing with his corpse, waiting for the paramedics to arrive and pronounce him dead. He had the dumbest look on his face: …
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Mike (@rflredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) review Tampa Bay & Carolina, preview week two, and submit their DFS Lineups! You can find our Beersheets teepublic shirt …
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The first full-length Hot Takes of the year is here, where we examine funny comments about the NFL from people who don’t have a clue. Like this person:
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This fantasy football week 1 sucked. I hated it. The only consolation was that I’m a Raiders fan, so by the time Sunday rolled around, I couldn’t get any lower. …
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Alright, you won fantasy football week 1 with a quality team name like, “Keep on Hockenson the Free World,” or “Love Will Grier us Apart.” Now it’s time to keep …
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Playing fantasy football is like fishing… except from the point of view of a fish: Sooner or later, that delicious worm turns on us all.
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Mike (@rflredzone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) review Chicago-Green Bay in the rare pre-week one televised scrimmage, preview week one, and make NFL season predictions. You can …
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Jeff (@jeffkrisko), Waleed (@iamthewaleed) and Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook) talk Andrew Luck (breaking news), preseason week four, camp battles, and answer YOUR questions! Fantasy Football is real next week! …
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Adam Schefter tweeted that Andrew Luck is retiring, and Tom Pelissero corroborated it. We’re stunned. I’m literally cooking Hamburger Helper with one hand and writing this post with the other, …
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Jeff (@jeffkrisko), Mike (@rflredzone) and Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook) talk early preseason week three, Mike and Evan try to read Jeff’s mind, and the boys talk six players who …
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With the primaries approaching for the 2020 U.S. Presidential election, we’ve been hearing a lot of great slogans that would also make funny 2019 fantasy football team names. This inspired …
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No more clever titles that make it impossible to go back and find a particular episode. Jeff (@jeffkrisko), Mike (@rflredzone) and Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook) talk Josh Gordon, Andrew …
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I only had time to get a few weird comments from NFL articles and social media, this week, as I’ve been up past midnight most nights getting our Draft Kit …
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Congrats on doing an auction draft league! You are significantly upgrading your fantasy football experience. Auction versus snake draft is like watching football when your fantasy players are in the …
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Read More If you don’t know me by now: I’m the auction strategy guy. I basically only do auctions. I’m in two mock auctions right now, which is making it super hard …
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(Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/90/Kansas_City_Chiefs_KC_logo.svg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source: https://live.staticflickr.com/2888/13296155245_95f63e09a7_b.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9d/Mike_Godwin_photographed_by_Voice_of_America_%28Cambodia%29%2C_September_2017.png under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a3/Boston_Strong_Concert-May_30%2C_2013.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5f/RB_Derrick_Henry_Titans%2C_2016.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Phillip_Lindsay_2018.JPG under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/71/Sam_Darnold.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dak_Prescott_handoff_vs_Redskins_2017.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cam_Newton_(45327735431).jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Patrick_Mahomes_II.JPG under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(photo credit Navin Rajagopalan [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)]) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every …
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(Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/keithallison/43964183845 under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/)) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source: Thomson20192 from https://www.flickr.com/photos/93558439@N05/14839373505 under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player …
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(photo credit Navin Rajagopalan [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)]) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More(Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0f/DeAngelo_Hall%2C_Adam_Thielen_%2826599714459%29.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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(Source https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3a/JuJu_Smith-Schuster_field_goal_attempt%2C_Jan_2019_5.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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Do you like fun? Sign up for our free fish bowl league. Win prizes! Fill that aching July fantasy football void! Deadline 7/8/19
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read MoreFind the current overall standings, here Copied from the Scott Fish Bowl site: Draft The drafts start July 9th, 2018 at 11am EST It will be a slow draft style …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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If you are interested in only the best in your quarterbacks, then this fantasy football Drew Bress player profile should be just what you need. As we gear up to …
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Mae West: Sex symbol, legendary wit, and perhaps the best person to answer the question “Should I draft Ezekiel Elliott or Saquon Barkley #1?” even though she died forty years …
Read More ALERT: Dominate your auction leagues with our new, foolproof auction strategy Updated 9/3/19 Thanks for helping make last year’s fantasy football auction values list our all-time most popular article! It …
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Here is our 2019 NFL rookie fantasy football team names list. Our 2018 rookie fantasy football team names list became one of our most-viewed articles of all time, so this …
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2018’s Best Los Angeles Chargers Fantasy Football Player: Austin Ekeler, Running Back or Melvin Gordon, Running Back 2018’s Biggest Los Angeles Chargers Fantasy Football Disappointment: Literally Nobody 2019 Los Angeles …
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2018’s Best Denver Broncos Fantasy Football Player: Phillip Lindsay, Running Back 2018’s Biggest Denver Broncos Fantasy Football Disappointment: Demayrius Thomas, Wide Receiver 2019 Denver Broncos Fantasy Football Draft Wishlist: Quarterback, …
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2018’s Best Oakland Raiders Fantasy Football Player: Jared Cook, TE 2018’s Biggest Oakland Raiders Fantasy Football Disappointment: Marshawn Lynch 2019 Oakland Raiders Fantasy Football Draft Wishlist: Running Back, Tight End, …
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When I look at the Oakland Raiders 2019 mock draft needs, I can’t help but think about my father’s favorite chair. My dad passed away, recently, after a prolonged battle …
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I’m sketching out an outline for this article with my right hand. My left holds the hand that once belonged to my father, Dr. Jonathan Hart, but now is attached …
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Facts about the 2019 AFC and NFC Conference Championships Here are our 11 originally-researched facts about the 2019 AFC and NFC conference championships… …
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Super Bowl Predictions We were wondering: is there an article we can make that ensures all of us, save maybe one, look like fools? Then it hit us: Super Bowl …
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Facts about the 2019 NFL Divisional Playoffs As the games get more important, the facts get deeper and better. Check out this slew of facts about the 2019 NFL Divisional …
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2019 NFL Divisional Round Predictions Last week’s wild card picks were a breeze! Everyone knew that the struggling Eagles would best the vaunted #1 Bears defense. That Indianapolis’ spotty D …
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Facts about the 2019 NFL Wild Card Round For more facts like these facts about the 2019 NFL Wild Card round, tune in every week!
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2019 NFL Wild Card Predictions We know it’s a week late but we think the song that should kick off the NFL playoffs is ‘It’s the most wonderful time of …
Read MoreAlbum Name Band Name Upvotes Downvotes Overall Score You’d Prefer an Astronaut HUM 1 2 Sheet Music 10cc 1 2 Arrival ABBA 1 2 Book of Human Language Aceyalone 1 …
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Week 16 Start or Sit Blake Jarwin, Chris Herndon, or David Njoku Congrats on reaching your fantasy football finals. “Wait, Evan,” you may be thinking, “I’m actually in my fantasy …
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Week 16 Start or Sit Jarvis Landry, Chris Hogan, or Antonio Callaway? It’s finals week! Time to bring home the big prize that you have been neglecting your work and …
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Start or Sit Pettis, Robby Anderson, or Gordon Congrats on reaching your fantasy football finals. “Wait, Evan,” you may be thinking, “I’m actually in my fantasy semi-finals this week.” To …
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Congrats on achieving everyone’s fantasy football goal: Watching some of your players on a Saturday. But after making the playoffs, you face an even more difficult decision: Which site to …
Read MoreTHIS IS IT! THIS IS THE FINALS! #1 WINS A RING! Team (SA forums name) Yet to Play In Play Score The Calvinted Mr. Ridley (Drunk Nerds) 0 0 242.62 …
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Start or Sit Jordan Howard, Chris Carson, or Rashaad Penny Week 14 is here, and those of you who limped into the playoffs might be deciding between Howard, Carson, Penny, …
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Holiday-Themed Fantasy Football Team Names The final installment in our extremely popular team names lists. Find a player on your team, and look up our recommended, optimized holiday-themed fantasy football …
Read MoreOverall Standings Rank Team Something Awful Dot Com Forums Forum Name Week 13 Points 1 Chubb with the Sack 192.5 2 Tarik on a Leash Gonias, Ind. 176.18 3 Big …
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Fantasy Football Week 13: Start or Sit Tyrell Williams, Josh Doctson, or Golden Tate There is a monster who stalks me weeks 6-12 of every fantasy football season. He waits …
Read MoreOverall Standings Here Rank Team Something Awful Dot Com Forums Forum Name Points 1 Sony 2012 N/A 229.44 2 ????? Scruffy the Janitor 219.76 3 Camcussion N/A 203.76 4 Hava …
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Week 12 Injury Report Good evening, for it is always the evening in the stretching shadows of the darkest places of our mind. And there is nothing darker than injuries, …
Read MoreOverall Standings Here TEAM Forums dot Something Awful dot Com Forums Name Week 11 Results ????? Scruffy the Janitor 216.46 Sony 2012 N/A 211.48 NorseFleas N/A 207.7 Frank Gore-bachov …
Read MoreOverall standings link TEAM Week 10 Hava Nagy-na 245.2 Goon Fish and Gallant 232.2 The Calvinted Mr. Ridley 220.6 Flying Sex Snakes 198.2 bELIeve 197.86 Chubb with the Sack 190.88 …
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Thanksgiving Fantasy Football Team Names Thanks, FootballAbsurdity readers, for making our team names lists some of our biggest hits ever. We’ve got Thanksgiving fantasy football team names hot out of …
Read MoreOverall Standings Here Weekly Ranking TEAM Week 9 Score 1 Ron Mexico’s Motorboat Mariachi 244.68 2 Goku Boarding a Plane to Better Understand Us 199.16 3 Chubb with the Sack …
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Hot Takes from Crazy People: Funny Comments from NFL Articles Another week, another batch of nutsos making funny comments on NFL football articles. This week I’ve paired all six comments …
Read MoreOverall Standings Rank TEAM Week 8 1 NorseFleas 203.9 2 ????? 203.62 3 The Majoryanettes 200.7 4 Help me OBJ Saquon Kenobi, you’re my only hope 199.48 5 Tarik on …
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Funny NFL Comments Yes, those “funny” NFL comments by “funny” people, that’s what I’m about. I wanted to produce weirdo comments from both sides of the political spectrum here, but …
Read MoreOverall standings Rank TEAM Week 7 1 Tarik on a Leash 206.06 2 Dirtburgers 204.68 3 No More Mr. Guice 198.26 4 Patti Mahomaise 196.9 5 NorseFleas 195.48 6 Sony …
Read MoreRank TEAM Score 1 Flying Sex Snakes 219.38 2 Dirtburgers 207.24 3 Goon Fish and Gallant 198.92 4 Goku Boarding a Plane to Better Understand Us 196.48 5 The Majoryanettes …
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2018 Halloween-Themed Fantasy Football Team Names You know the drill: Find a player you own on this list of 2018 Halloween-Themed Fantasy Football Team Names and amaze your opponent into …
Read MoreWeekly Rankings: Week Four Week Three Week Two Week One Overall Rank TEAM Week 5 1 Hava Nagy-na 224.22 2 The Calvinted Mr. …
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Funny NFL Comments I’m sure these funny NFL comments from social media were all made by people just having a bad day, and are normally well-adjusted and not funny NFL …
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Start or Sit Andrew Luck in Fantasy Football Week Five? It’s week four, and that means that the fantasy football season is already at its quarter pole. Even though that’s …
Read MoreWeekly Rankings: Week Three Week Two Week One Overall Current Rank TEAM Week 4 1 No More Mr. Guice 230.54 2 Ron Mexico’s Motorboat Mariachi 227.4 …
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Fantasy Football Team Names Be sure to check out our all new list of holiday-themed fantasy football team names, here! Hi, Football Absurdity fans! One of the most exciting parts …
Read MoreWeekly Rankings: Week Two Week One Overall Rank TEAM Week 3 1 Ron Mexico’s Motorboat Mariachi 235.8 2 Help me OBJ Saquon Kenobi, you’re my only …
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What Happened This Week in Fantasy Football – Week Three Well thanks for asking! I went 4-1 for the second straight week in my leagues and I… oh, you didn’t …
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Funny Tweets and Comments from NFL Posters Welcome to week three’s “Hot Takes from Crazy People,” where we look at funny tweets and comments from NFL posters whose brains may …
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Start or Sit Josh Gordon Should you start or sit Josh Gordon in week three? This might be the most complex question to answer in fantasy football this year. To …
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Facts about the NFL Week Two There were some weird facts about the NFL week two. Exactly five facts. Any other pieces of information that sound like facts are totally …
Read MoreRankings: Overall Week Two Week One Rank TEAM Week Two 1 The Calvinted Mr. Ridley 239.38 2 Tarik on a Leash 224.86 3 ????? 218.06 4 The Majoryanettes …
Read MoreStandings: Overall Week Two Week One Rank TEAM Total Points 1 No More Mr. Guice 195.20 2 Tarik on a Leash 188.38 3 Ron Mexico’s Motorboat Mariachi …
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What Happened This Week in Fantasy Football (This information is before Sunday Night Football) Patrick Mahomes. That’s what happened this week in fantasy football. The second year signal-caller threw six …
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Football absurdity’s resident sports & addiction psychologist weighs in on the shocking release of Josh Gordon.
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Week Two NFL Injury Report by a blindly optimistic Raiders fan What’s up NF-aiLures! Your representative from THE hottest team here to hold your hands as your not-exciting coaches continue …
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Who Is James Conner? Foreword: I am tasked with answering the question, “who is James Conner?” I would normally decline this assignment, as I don’t know him directly. But thanks …
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Funny Comments from the NFL Week One The first collection of dumb, funny comments of the 2018 regular season! We found the worst funny comment from every single game. Except …
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We’ve got facts about NFL week one… we’ve got them right here… convenient, huh?
Read MoreWeekly Rankings: Week Thirteen Week Twelve Week Eleven Week Ten Week Nine Week Eight Week Seven Week Six Week Five Week Four …
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Welcome to the madhouse: Our increasingly popular look at funny comments from NFL fans. The first of our funny comments comes from a Yahoo article about the cutting of longtime …
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Welcome to Hot Takes from Crazy People, where we find and lampoon funny comments from NFL articles.
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The NFL may be in its dark period, but that surprisingly doesn’t stop these people from leaving funny comments about the NFL that shed light on their own personal issues. …
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Our 2019 Fantasy Football Auction Values chart is up! Make these 2018 fantasy football auction values your primary weapon for destroying all of your auction leagues. (Updated 9/3/18) Last year’s …
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It all started when I promised my Football Absurdity co-owners Waleed and Jeff that I would get some notable personalities together for a Football Absurdity celebrity draft. They were both …
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Evan: One day, it hit me, like a bolt of lightning from God: I like bossing my friends around, I like doing shrooms on top of a mountain. Therefore, I am …
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Our 2018 Fantasy Football Halloween Team Names List Is Out Dynasty drafters: You’ve got your rookies, we’ve got funny 2018 rookie fantasy football team names.
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You may have been rooting for the wrong team, all these years! That’s where Football Absurdity has you covered: A no-nonsense, no-hugbox personality test that has been shown to …
Read MoreAre you a good person? Yes, I am great at mental gymnastics No, I suffer from crippling self-loathing
Read MoreAre you a good person? Yes, I saved a bunch of burning orphans No, I saved a bunch of burning orphans with my ample-sized bladder
Read MoreAre you quick to jump on a bandwagon? Yes, my garage is full of meat smokers and poker tables No, my garage is as empty as my social calendar
Read MoreAre you quick to jump on a bandwagon? Yes, I plan to reproduce just as my ancestors did for eons before me No, I stay celibate specifically to spite a …
Read MoreAre you quick to jump on a bandwagon? Yes, I go to interventions just for fun …
Read MoreAre you quick to jump on a bandwagon? Yes, where is this bandwagon? No, I’ll never go sober
Read MoreDo you like rules? Yes, rules are a constant construct we all have to follow, like gravity No, I strongly believe I can fly
Read MoreDo you like rules? Yes, without rules people would eat weird stuff and get sick No, I just ate some moldy bread and now I’m not even sure… what’s… going… …
Read MoreDo you like rules? Yes, rules help us support our brave, strong leaders …
Read MoreDo you like rules? Yes, Monopoly makes no sense without rules, it’s just rolling two dice …
Read MoreDo you like rules? No, there are never any repercussions to breaking the rules Yes, if I click “no” my probation officer will call me
Read MoreDo you like rules? Yes, I’m an uptight wet blanket No, I’m an annoying slacker
Read MoreDo you like rules? Yes, everyone has to follow certain universal rules, especially death No, I am going to live forever
Read MoreDo you like rules? Yes, without rules people would do stupid, paradoxical things No, I hate rules so much I’m actually going to click “yes,” here
Read MoreDo you like conflict? No, I think the world should be all rainbows …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? Yes, I love talking politics at the Thanksgiving dinner table No, I spent two hours listening to politics at the Thanksgiving table because I was afraid …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? Yes, I even combine strong acids and bases when cleaning No, I don’t even clean: Germs should roam free …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? Yes, I mix champagne and downers on the reg No, I won’t even mix foods from countries that hate each other
Read MoreDo you like conflict? Yes. I wish this guy here would start punching me! No. I wish this guy here would stop punching …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? Yes, I’ll go to your house and smash your fine china! …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? Yes, I love blood diamonds …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? No. My friends told me to say no Yes. My friends told me to say no
Read MoreDo you like conflict? Yes, they can take my guns when they pry them from my cold, dead hands …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? Yes Actually, conflict was created in 1982 by the CIA as a means of smothering the ghettos. So I don’t like conflict because I am not …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? A. I don’t know, maybe? B. I don’t know, maybe not?
Read MoreDo you like conflict? A. Yes, in fact, I am punching someone right now B. No, in fact, someone is punching me right now and I have decided to deal …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? A. Yes, that dress does make you look fat B. No, I’m still married …
Read MoreDo you like conflict? A. Yes B. I’m afraid to say Yes
Read MoreDo you like conflict? A. Yes! I never shower so that people will be offended B. No! I never shower so that people will stay away
Read MoreDo you like conflict? A. yes B. NO!
Read MoreHard working, head down. That’s the motto of this industrious and resourceful personality type. As such, it’s not unusual for them to look around after decades of dedication and realize …
Read MoreOnce upon a time, there was a king. He was not a bad sort of person, yet his people were starving and poor. The poor people are the metaphorical representation …
Read MoreAs their name implies, Astro Dynamo Rockets hate inertia. If this personality type was a Saturday morning cartoon, their arch enemy would be Captain Boredom. That actually might not make …
Read MoreAs a child, Volunteer Predators were uprooted from home and transported far away. They found the new culture jarringly different. Sure, they wore the same cowboy boots and ten-gallon hats, …
Read MoreFirst in line. First to raise their hand. First on the scene. Of course, that “scene” is a burning building they plan to loot, that “raised hand” is pulling down …
Read MoreHappy and dauntless and sagacious are the Red Crimsons, dancing around in their castles while the land is overrun by pestilence and an insane quarterback market. Some citizens haven’t eaten …
Read MoreAt an early age, Shark Armadas realize that being #2 gets you almost all the spoils with hardly any of the blame. Thus, their mission in life is to fly …
Read MoreAt some formative point in their life, the Pacer Maker was horribly abandoned by a loved one. Perhaps it was an absent parent, the death of a young spouse, or …
Read MoreThe main goal of this personality type is to keep things the same, to keep the peace. Rocky Mountain Outlaws go through life with an attitude that is completely zen …
Read MoreCoins in the couch… cell phones in the toilet… youngest siblings. Sometimes things just slip through the cracks. Such is the way for Red Dutch Lions. Boring job, ordinary family …
Read MoreLike the Pelican Wave personality type, the Baltimore personality is best described as a giant wall of attacking birds. Oriole Blasts have a great devotion to rules and order. Often …
Read MoreLike their sea-born counterparts, Pirate Penguins are self-made individuals. They set their own rules, go against the grain, and often meet their lofty dreams. Unfortunately, these “dreams” are usually pretty …
Read MoreEveryone has a Sabre Bandit in their lives. The Sabre Bandit is the one who figures out, “hey, if I intentionally suck at everything asked of me, people will stop …
Read MoreHot Marlins are intensely observational, preferring to suss out a room for danger before entering. As such, they often are the most prepared, and often push success to new heights. …
Read MoreEvery production needs a bad boy, and that’s where this type comes in. If you ask them about culture, they hand you antibiotics. If you asked them the definition of …
Read MoreThis type is a trend setter. Leave the logic work to the eggheads, there are trails to blaze! As such, Met Nets are free thinkers, creative, and resourceful. When you …
Read MoreDevoted and passionate, this personality eschews popular trends for the familiar. Being near a Wild Twin is like being wrapped in a cozy old blanket knit by a loving grandparent …
Read MoreLike a tidal wave of birds, this personality type has a lot of strength, and an ocean of crap. For Pelican Waves, the key to life is to have something …
Read MoreVery conscious of social status and highly driven, Hornet Hurricanes like life fast, showy, and efficient. It’s not good enough to win, you have to look good doing it, then …
Read MoreUnion 76s like to make the rules, then break them. Freewheeling, brash, and loud, it’s no wonder this personality type spends the most time in middle management sales positions. Union …
Read MoreYour entire life has been shaped by a childhood plagued by letdowns from your father, or other male parent. As such, your adult life has been great, as long as …
Read MoreThe Bull Cub got it’s name from the now-extinct gay community. At least, I assume they’re extinct, because if the task of making gay jokes has fallen all the way …
Read MoreIsland Rangers have a noble sense of duty… at least more than the rest of us slackers. They are loyal to a fault, and they love sharing successes with friends. …
Read MoreKings of the Galaxy never forget. More like Elephants of the Galaxy, right? Oh, no, wait: Elephants are the elephants of the Galaxy. Anyway, Kings of the Galaxy hold a …
Read MoreSun Diamonds are extremely social and popular, despite being generally inflexible about everything. This rigidity is due to the correlation that, although you have done many good things in your …
Read MoreStorm Lightnings, like their eponymous bottled weather pattern, are known for their ability to get a great streak of fortune and achieve new heights, albeit temporarily. Even though your achievements …
Read MoreWe’ve all stuck out a horrible situation for way too long, based on promises of something better. Be it a relationship with a bad person who occasionally shows glimpses of …
Read MoreOn the surface, Wizard Generals are active and social. You’ll frequently find them at school association meetings, heading up charity drives, and donating all their empty liquor bottles to the …
Read MoreWhen you were young, you were abandoned by someone very close to you. As such, you have romanticized your relationship with them, so that when they finally become relevant to …
Read MoreYou’ve collected all the data, and so can objectively state that your farts smell the best. This is due to your own excretory musk being the same scent as the …
Read MoreYou stand for what is good and right. Not because you chose to, but because it’s always been that way. In fact, questioning the status quo is a foreign language …
Read MoreYou may have been rooting for the wrong team, all these years! That’s where Football Absurdity has you covered: A no-nonsense, no-hugbox personality test that has been shown to accurately …
Read MoreYour life is a yin-yang: You can analyze the parts any way you want, but if you step back it will always resemble a giant zero. On the one side …
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Not even the most British of recipes is saltier, more bitter, and more horribly misinformed than these hot takes from people who go on the Internet once a year to …
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These facts about Super Bowl LII were all done by original research. So if you see somebody else saying stuff like “Tom Brady set the Super Bowl record for passing …
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Here are the most interesting facts about Super Bowl LII we’ve found, so far. Tune in next week for part 2 of our Fascinating Facts about Super Bowl LII series.
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These are facts about the AFC and NFC Championship games. Anyone who purports otherwise is lying, and probably a cop.
Read MoreAfter Divisional Round: Name Wins Losses Wins ATS Losses ATS Pt differential (total) Pt Diff (Avg) Sataere 6 2 2 6 154 19.25 Stevie Lee 5 3 6 2 255 …
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Only one of these facts about the 2018 NFL playoffs has a source. That’s because I get so excited about playoffs I rolled up my sleeves and researched the other …
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It’s almost playoff time, when you can finally cash in on all those preseason bets-of-hubris. Unless, of course, you have such low self esteem you need to pat yourself on …
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Fewer hot NFL takes this week, but that’s because these takes are so much hotter than usual. Or it’s because I’m phoning it in for the holidays. I ain’t gotta …
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It’s the week 16 injury report, and it’s about time they got an expert like me. I’ve done stuff.
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This slate of games has come and gone, but not without planting some facts about the NFL week 15 in a highly suspicious manner.
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An NFL holiday hot takes riddle: What do these crazy commenters have in common with Santa Claus? A: They both have severe social anxiety.
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NFL Football Quiz Weird Rules (3 points each)
Read MoreAnswer: Dan Marino (San Marino) Source
Read MoreAnswer: Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns
Read MoreAnswer: Q
Read MoreAnswer: The Oakland Raiders moved from Oakland to L.A., back to Oakland, and is expected to move to Las Vegas in 2020
Read MoreAnswer: The Los Angeles Rams have moved from Cleveland to L.A. to St. Louis, then back to L.A. Source
Read MoreAnswer: The New York Jets
Read MoreAnswer: The Arizona Cardinals Source
Read MoreAnswer: In overtime, the first team to get the ball makes a field goal. The other team gets the ball, but then either fumbles or throws an interception. The team …
Read MoreAnswer: He stepped out of bounds. If a player has a part of their body out of bounds when fielding a kickoff, it counts as a kick out of bounds …
Read MoreAnswer: On an extra point by team A, team B blocks it, recovers, and runs down the field. However, shortly before reaching the end zone, Team B fumbles. Team A …
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We’ve almost wrapped up another exciting NFL week. Believe it or not, there were facts about the NFL week 14! Believe it or not, they were fascinating!
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The Fantasy Football season is wrapping up. Some things were new, some were same old, same old. New Things: I’m in the playoffs in all but 1 of my leagues.
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Week 14 FAAB is here! Don’t forget to check how much FAAB your playoff opponents have, and see if you can leave yourself juuuust a little more than they have. …
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I’m taking over the week 14 power rankings from Jeff for just a week. As we all know, the best thing to do when tasked with someone else’s job is …
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These five absurd mistakes of week 13 serve as a reminder that it’s hard to come up with a synonym for “fails.”
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Sure, we’ve all bandied about the phrase, “facts about the NFL week 13,” every time we felt the need to improve SEO. But this was the first week when “facts …
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Lotsa people posting crazy NFL hot takes. Lotsa people doing hard drugs. Some people are doing both, like this commenter from an ESPN article about the expanded role of rookie …
Read MorePlayoff teams: Rank TEAM NAME POINTS BYE 89 is awesome with the ladies 10-3 record BYE First Down with the Sickness 2053 BYE Tyler, Tyler, Tyrell, Taylor & Tyler 8-5 …
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Usually, the answer to “is roster churning illegal” is a resounding, “Yes.” Roster churning is where an owner intentionally picks up, then immediately drops players in order to put them …
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This week 13 FAAB advice comes with a small, all-caps disclaimer: SPEND YOUR FAAB ALREADY, WHAT ARE YOU SAVING IT FOR?!?
Read MoreUnlike last week, all of these NFL mistakes from week 12 took place inside a stadium.
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The season is heating up, which is reflected in the higher-than-normal temperature of these fascinating facts about the NFL week 12.
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I thought this week’s NFL Hot Takes from Crazy People would be lacking. After all, most of these crazy people can just make comments over an increasingly agitated Thanksgiving dinner …
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Here’s a weird event that my BML’s ethics committee recently had to review for fantasy football collusion: One owner decided he didn’t have a chance this year, and sent an …
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As it has been in previous weeks, this week 12 FAAB is optimized for half-point PPR. As always, if you don’t see a guy on this list, he is either …
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Please enjoy the most absurd mistakes of week 11 in the NFL. Please don’t don’t enjoy them.
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These are the best facts about the NFL week 11 that our research department (which is really just some interns I chained up in my basement) could find.
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Each week, NFL Hot Takes from Crazy People brings you recalescent perspectives from the mentally eccentric, like those nutjobs who insist on using a thesaurus to make a simple sentence sound …
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If Colin Kaepernick wins his suit, it won’t be the first jerk move by NFL owners. Signing bad players for too much money is a measly achievement that any NFL …
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I like playing against a full lineup every week, even in leagues for money. It’s like if a friend invited you to play basketball for money and then said “oh, …
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We’ve changed things up for FAAB week 11: All the potential waiver wire steals are listed. If you don’t see a player here, he is either owned in too many …
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I did not have to look long for these hilarious week 10 mistakes. You know, in case that was something you were worried about.
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Though the NFL had a week devoid of any real upsets (for the second time this year), there are still eight fascinating facts about week 10:
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Welcome to hot takes from strange commenters; it was hard not to make these all about Josh Gordon. Our first extreme opinion is that losing a top-3 back somehow makes …
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Celebrate agony and test your fantasy knowledge with these worst moments in fantasy football history.
Read MoreIn week 6 of the 2006 season, many owners went into Monday night football ahead by a few points with just their starting quarterback left. Rather than bench him, most …
Read MoreIn week 6 of the 2006 season, many owners went into Monday night football ahead by a few points with just their starting quarterback left. Rather than bench him, most …
Read MoreIn week 6 of the 2006 season, many owners went into Monday night football ahead by a few points with just their starting quarterback left. Rather than bench him, most …
Read MoreIn week 6 of the 2006 season, many owners went into Monday night football ahead by a few points with just their starting quarterback left. Rather than bench him, most …
Read More3. In 2014, fantasy owners rejoiced when this first-round-pick receiver was declared eligible against the lowly New York Jets, despite struggling with injuries. However, the coaching staff used him almost …
Read MoreIn 2014, fantasy owners rejoiced when this first-round-pick receiver was declared eligible against the lowly New York Jets, despite struggling with injuries. However, the coaching staff used him almost entirely …
Read MoreDuring his rookie year, this rising receiver looked poised to score on a long punt return during Monday Night Football. Instead, he punished owners brave enough to start him by …
Read MoreDuring his rookie year, this rising receiver looked poised to score on a long punt return during Monday Night Football. Instead, he punished owners brave enough to start him by …
Read MoreOoooh, so close. You were streaking down the sidelines, then inexplicably fumbled the ball at the 1. 76,000 fans boo you and pelt you with soda and rocks, but sadly …
Read MoreWow! You managed to get one question right! Like a Monday night QB performance that doubles your fantasy team score to 80, you don’t even get the satisfaction of feeling …
Read MoreYou did a perfect job of getting a small portion of the questions correct! Like a 7-9 team, you have great potential for the future. There’s only one thing: You …
Read MoreAggressively mediocre! You have some of the knowledge, but not an encyclopedic ability to recall significant players. It’s all or nothing, bud, so start forgetting every single name you know, …
Read MoreOh-for-Five! That’s amazing, you must have had no strife in your fantasy football career. Must be nice for you, why don’t you just rub it in all our faces, jerk. …
Read MoreCongratulations! Your fantasy life must have been filled with such strife that the worst moments have burned themselves in your brain with the painfulness of a cattle brand. Celebrate the …
Read MoreDays after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …
Read MoreDays after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …
Read MoreDays after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …
Read MoreDays after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …
Read MoreDays after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …
Read MoreIn 2014, fantasy owners rejoiced when this first-round-pick receiver was declared eligible against the lowly New York Jets, despite struggling with injuries. However, the coaching staff used him almost entirely …
Read MoreIn 2014, fantasy owners rejoiced when this first-round-pick receiver was declared eligible against the lowly New York Jets, despite struggling with injuries. However, the coaching staff used him almost entirely …
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These week 9 NFL facts reveal that only seven interesting things happened, this week.
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Week 9 was by far the most disappointing week of fantasy this season. Worst of all, there were enough high scoring players that not a lot of people are sharing …
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Week 9 sucked. Let’s get this in the books so I never have to think about the horrors of week 9 again. Here’s are three delightfully novel fantasy developments for …
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With your guest watch NFL week 9 live blogger, a robot that has just achieved sentience! 0630: Greetings. I am in awe of my newfound characteristics. Emotions are something new …
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Leave it to crazy commenters to get to the secret conspirator behind the Ezekiel Elliott back-and-forth: The utility companies!
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Top 5 Complaints of Josh Gordon’s Handler Keeps trying to sell me Michael Floyd’s “gently used” car Insists “being on the Browns” is a valid reason for a marijuana prescription …
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Top 5 Movies DeShaun Watson Can See with All His Newfound Spare Time Torn on the Fourth of July The Stanford-Milgram Prison Experiment The Texans’ Sprainsaw Massacre Land of the …
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Top 5 Weirdest End Zone Celebrations Ezekiel Elliot mimes pulling Dak Prescott’s shirt down, then mimes beating him. Then Cole Beasley mimes being a judge and Elliot mimes filing an …
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Fantasy Football Choose Your Own Adventure Hey, new players! Welcome to the exciting, lighthearted world of fantasy football. Sure, fantasy football can enhance otherwise boring NFL games, just like gambling …
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It seems simple enough to ignore the fact that an odd number of players have signed up for a fantasy football league. Hey, sometimes people just have a bye week. …
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When you calculate your week 9 FAAB, you want to sort your waiver wire targets based on which of three monsters they are. Yes, this is a longstanding and peer-reviewed …
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I wanted, “Eight Enlightening Facts about Week 8,” but our quality control department is strict as to what qualifies as “fascinating.”
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A disappointingly un-disappointing week still had a few week 8 NFL disappointments.
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An extremely condescending and sarcastic look at the biggest Week 8 NFL Surprises.
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I had a mega-celebrity lined up to live blog and watch NFL Week 8 Live Reactions. However, a certain orange-and-black-striped tiger named for a famous philosopher landed in jail on …
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Welcome to a special Saturday edition of the Friday Football Freakshow! If Monday Night Football can be on a Saturday, I can share NFL hot takes on a Saturday.
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We’ve got fantasy football puzzles. You know, in case fantasy football wasn’t complicated enough for you.
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Some might say the worst fantasy football rule is “minus 500 points if a kicker misses an extra point.” Still, some might say that’s the best rule. I recently saw …
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Hi, I’m Evan Hoovler, Football Absurdity’s features writer, FAAB analyst, and primary embezzler. Although our mission is to put the fun back into the glorious hobby of fantasy football, I’ve …
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Facts from the NFL Week 7 Week 7 wasn’t quite as exciting as in previous weeks, but the facts from the NFL are just as solid: The Arizona Cardinals could …
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NFL Week 7 Surprises A lot of people say I need an attitude change. A lot of people can suck it. Here are my NFL week 7 surprises.
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Top Five Excuses That Would Get Marshawn Lynch Out of Trouble for Shoving a Ref 1. Thought referee was the American flag 2. Thought referee was the end zone, which …
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There is a funny NFL phenomenon where people make baffling “kneeling” jokes in the comments section of articles about black players getting ejected, or black players getting injured, or black …
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Aaron Rodgers is a Packer. My wife is a saint. Wait, is there a saint that is really nice but also curses like a sailor and loves cheap whiskey?
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This week proved that there’s nothing weirder than a regression towards normalcy. Check out these 14 fascinating facts about the NFL’s week 6:
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Top 5 things that are painfully parallel 1. Goodell urging white owners to use their authority to stop black players complaining about being mistreated by authorities
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<Steps out under light-bulb marquee which reads “NFL Hot Takes Award Night 2017.” Straightens bowtie. Glances nervously at crotch before remembering that Gonnhorea doesn’t show on outside of pants. Audience applauds.> Hello! …
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Our 2019 Fantasy Football Halloween Team Names List Is Out! And We Have EVEN MORE 2019 Halloween Fantasy Football Team Names! As a follow-up to our preseason team names list, …
Read MoreWeek 5 of the NFL has wrapped, and I’m still reeling at the last second heroics of a certain team. Yes, that should fool readers into thinking I don’t write …
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First of all, I take the allegations that I was doing lines of Dolphins cocaine (which is way better than regular cocaine) very seriously. So seriously, that I haven’t slept since …
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I had planned to open this with some great takes on Cam Newton. “How can people somehow spin this against both black people AND women?” I thought
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As part of our mission to bring entertainment to football analysis, we are going to give you a smattering of Halloween + Football scary stories all month. Speaking of which, …
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We’re visiting a classic commissioner’s conundrum, this week: The quitter. I’ve commissioned leagues where I’ve contacted people to make their pick, and they replied, “Oh I didn’t know the draft …
Read MoreWelcome to Hot Butts, where I detail who might get fired to our loyal readers (and a few confused people who stumbled in here searching for porn).
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Week 4 has come to a close, and it went exactly as expected (provided you are a totally optimistic fan of the Bills, Panthers, and Jets). Here are a few dozen …
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This week, Matthew Berry had coworkers ask him questions for his Love/Hate column, a gimmick that is lazy and should never be emulated. He received a batch of not-haha-funny comments, …
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Week 4 fantasy football questions? Let me be completely direct with my response: I recently bought a house and started a business. The business is this site you are reading …
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With wild upsets and extremely close games, this was the most exciting week in the NFL, this year. Check out all these facts about week 3 that put this week’s …
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The first of our crazy comments comes from the Yahoo Sports article, “Week 3 deep sleepers and DFS bargains” First of all, it’s spelled Foreman, assuming he’s talking about Houston’s …
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The NFL only cares about money. The NFL gave no thought to curbing domestic violence until it started to lose them money. If domestic violence somehow increased profits for the …
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Today’s scenario comes from an email to Fantasy Football Today. A commissioner in a six-year-old league is re-examining the results from year 1. Turns out, a stat correction changed who …
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Fun Fact: I set a record for most days without curling up in a tiny ball under the kitchen table, my tears streaking down the screen of my tablet showing my …
Read MoreIt’s the top ten fantasy tight ends from week 1 Click here to return to the puzzles
Read MoreThese are the top 10 fantasy tight ends in week 1 Click here to return to the puzzle
Read MoreAnimations from https://wordsmith.org/anagram Click here to return to the puzzles
Read More“Be sure to listen next time we tell you to draft Dallas Goedert so you don’t have to ask us how much FAAB to spend on him after he blows …
Read MoreThe period at the beginning and out of placed comma were hints: The sentence is backward. Reversing it allows for the solve of “The last three times Tom Brady lost …
Read MoreAcross: 2. Russel Gage 5. Clyde 6. Kyler Murray 7. New Orleans Saints 8. Raheem Mostert 9. Myles Gaskin 10. Taysom Hill 11. Nyheim Hines Down: 1. Tom Brady 2. …
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The SomethingAwful.com forums are a Virtual Vesuvio for up-and-coming artists such as Jeff Krisko and Waleed Ismail. Recently, a 10-man fantasy football league was formed in one of the snarkier …
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For the first time since September 17, 2011, Jacksonville is over .500 2016 saw one of the closest seasons in terms of margin of victory. In week one of 2017, 11 …
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Dungeons and Dragons seemed pretty fun. I never played it as a teen, even though a lot of my friends did. I liked the idea of exploring a fantasy world, …
Read MoreAllen Robinson (contains Bears) Cam Akers (contains Rams) Sterling Shepard (contains Giants) Click here to return to the puzzles
Read MoreEzekiel Elliott, Evan Engram Hunter Henry, Hayden Hurst Click here to return to the puzzles
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The train pulled into the station at Chenati, India.
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Yesterday, I put up my thoroughly-vetted AFC predictions. The process is simple: Using Madden 18’s player stats, I created quarterbacks for all 16 teams in a wrestling game. Then I …
Read More Using Madden 18, I took stats for each of the 16 AFC starting quarterbacks and made them into wrestlers. Then, I held a Royal Rumble to determine who would get …
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We begin with a pair of tweets by known crazy person, Colin Kaepernick’s mom.
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Anyone who has ever shot a bunch of people in an attempt to overthrow a brutal regime knows:
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You Be the Commish is your chance to make a ruling on an exciting rules conundrum.
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Since the turn of the millennium, there have only been 6 instances of rookie quarterbacks cracking the top 12 in fantasy (and half of those happened the same year).
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All great heroes have a flaw, or a crippling fear. Indiana Jones had snakes, B.A. Baracus had a fear of flying, the main character of Moonlight was afraid of werewolves
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My favorite and most competitive fantasy football league is in our 17th year. We all meet in person in Lake Tahoe, CA. Last year, a few days before the auction, …
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Hope you still have your eclipse glasses lying around, because these takes are so white-hot that reading them could cause the mental illness equivalent of retinal damage.
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Scientists have calculated that, if humans had a button that let us fast forward through the boring parts of life, the average person would only live for about 2 weeks. …
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Our 2018 Fantasy Football Halloween Team Names List Is Out The top 100 players of 2017, alphabetically listed with funny fantasy football team names.
Read MoreThis is for 12 team leagues, $200 budget. If your fantasy football league has a different number of teams, just adjust proportionately (If you have 10 teams, which is 1/6 …
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I didn’t go “all the way to the end zone” with a woman until I was 24 years old. I’m not saying this just to brag, my life can serve …
Read MoreYou must have flinched when you flipped the coin, interfering with the hand of fate’s ability to correctly manipulate the chances. Your kicker strains his hamstring on the opening kickoff. …
Read MoreYou aren’t tempted by shiny upstarts. Travis Kelce is the best, safest play, so you click on him with a cocky twist of your wrist. Unfortunately, while kneeling for the …
Read MoreCongratulations, You Win!!!!!! You’ve escaped the labyrinthine world of fantasy football before the walls closed in on your soul! Enjoy the knowledge that this pastime, known by Gregorian monks as “the …
Read MoreStarting the upstart Kroft over the proven stud Kelce was a huge risk. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a monumental error, as Kroft is blanketed by the secondary and …
Read MoreLeonard Fournette, it is. In his matchup against Baltimore, he is stuffed 17 straight times. Next time, don’t make the mistake of starting an unproven rookie against an elite rushing …
Read MoreYou wisely select DeMarco Murray as your lead back. However, taking a pitch in the rain, Murray fumbles. He is benched for upstart backup Derrick Henry. There was no need …
Read MoreCongratulations! You Win!!!! The only smart move is not to play. Based on how long it took you to end your life over fantasy football, it is obvious that you …
Read MoreYouth trumps experience in this league, so you put DeShaun Watson squarely in your QB1 slot. On the third play from scrimmage, Watson attempts to sprint for a first down, …
Read MoreYou confidently slot in Drew Brees. This will turn out to be a mistake, as Brees’ usual steady passing score is foiled by winds from an approaching hurricane. You should …
Read MoreSmith finishing first means Peterson finished worse than 6 people, so they must be 7th. That puts Mailer 5th. Since Mailer is better than Thomas, Thomas is 6th. That leaves …
Read MoreAll of the words end an NFL team name (minus the final “-s”) Chicago bEARs Cleveland BrOWNs Atlanta FalCONs Tennessee TiTANs Dallas CowBOYs Cincinnati BenGALs Click here to return to …
Read MoreA. RAIDERS RAILERS WAILERS WAITERS WANTERS WINTERS WINNERS B. CHIEFS CHIELS SHIELS SHIERS SHYERS SAYERS LAYERS LASERS LOSERS C. EVAN ELAN PLAN PEAN PEAS SEAS SKAS OKAS OKAY …
Read MoreTop 10 Kickers RANDY BULLOCK RODRIGO BLANKENSHIP MASON CROSBY DANIEL CARLSON JUSTIN TUCKER STEPHEN GOSTKOWSKI JASON SANDERS JOEY SLYE HARRISON BUTKER WIL LUTZ Division Leaders BUFFALO BILLS SEATTLE SEAHAWKS PHILADELPHIA …
Read MoreA. Ryan Fitzpatrick, John Allen, Aaron Rodgers B. Patrick Mahomes, Dak Prescott, Drew Brees Click to return to the puzzles
Read MoreA. They are the only two starting quarterbacks with heights of less than 6 feet B. They are the only three quarterbacks to start in week four who were not …
Read MoreReturn to the puzzles, here
Read MoreJUSTIN JEFFERSON TEE HIGGINS MYLES GASKIN REX BURKHEAD JEFF WILSON CARLOS HYDE ALLEN LAZARD Blowing your waiver capital on Nick Foles is “FOLE-ISH Return to the puzzles, here
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Read MoreThe drop quotes are all in the articles linked under the puzzles. So why not have a fun time searching through the articles, yourself. You might learn a thing or …
Read MoreTop RBs: Aaron Jones Alvin Kamara Christian McCaffrey Josh Jacobs Ezekiel Elliott Raheem Mostert Chris Carson Dalvin Cook Kareem Hunt Nick Chubb Podcast Reputation Players: Josh Allen Kareem Hunt Dallas …
Read MoreIt’s weird that suspect 1 started a QB labeled “questionable” on Monday night when they had a perfectly acceptable replacement. Making that odd switch freed up a block of time …
Read MoreSC: Henry Golladay Hunt Allen Diggs Cooks Jacobs JB: Gronk Mostert Mahomes Hill OBJ Samuel Cook Click here to return to the puzzles Explanation: Rule 4 puts Gronk on JB, …
Read MoreAlexander Mattison The bot can only take a player who can spell the number of the round with their name. Saquon Barkley contains the letters in the word “one,” Robert …
Read MorePlease inform a loved one or licensed therapist about your behavior, immediately!
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