The 2019 List of Christmas Fantasy Football Team Names: Hockenson a Winter Wonderland

christmas fantasy football team names
(co-author: Bryan Sclar)

It’s time to roll out a Christmas list way too early, so that people say, “this is way too early to publish a Christmas fantasy football team names list” and click it ANYWAY.

I think it might be time to reveal our fantasy football team name methodology that has gotten our humble site at the top of search results:

  1. We need at least a two-syllable match or 33% of the syllables have to be a name pun
  2. No direct matches (sorry, Mason Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Because of this, we come up with and reject about 95% of Christmas fantasy football team names that other sites might publish. It’s this commitment to deep-self loathing that cements us as true writers and contributes to our alcoholism.

Without further SEO-adoo, here’s our list of Christmas fantasy football team names:

(Don’t worry, ye of other faiths: We’ll have Hannukah and Kwanzaa team name lists next week!)

 

Christmas Fantasy Football Team Names
Player or Players
Christmas Fantasy Football Team Name
Parris Campbell, Sterling Shepard Team Name Shepard-tridge in a Parris Tree
Blake Bortles Team Name Two Bortle Doves
Carson Wentz Team Name Three French Wentz
Gerald Everett, D.J. Chark, Mike Singletary Team Name
Chark the Gerald Angels Singletary
Jimmy Garoppolo, N’Keal Harry Team Name Harry Down the Jimmy, Tonight
Drew Brees Team Name Tis the Breeson
Zane Gonzalez, Noah Fant Team Name Rudolph the Red-Noah ZaneDeer
TJ Hockenson, Byron Pringle Team Name Pringle Bell Hock
Dante Pettis Team Name
Pettis Snow, Pettis Snow, Pettis Snow
Mohamed Sanu Team Name Sanu-ball Fight
Kyle Allen Team Name Kyle Allen-t Night
Isaiah Crowell, Hunter Hurst Team Name The Hurst Crowell
Tony Pollard Team Name The Pollard Express
Aaron Rodgers, Juju Smith-Schuster Team Name All Arod for Christmas is Juju
Marshawn Lynch Team Name You’re a Marshawn, Mr. Lynch
Odell Beckham Team Name Odell It on the Mountain
Todd Gurley Team Name Todd Rest Ye Gurley Gentlemen
Khalil Mack Team Name Mele Khalil-ka-Mack-a
TJ Hockenson Team Name Hockenson a Winter Wonderland
Ameer Abdullah, Juju Smith Schuster Team Name Juju Hear What Ameer

For more, check out our 2018 list of holiday fantasy football team names

Want to write team names with us? Join our Discord

 

[Photo Credit: https://www.maxpixel.net/Fabric-Red-Nicholas-Santa-Claus-Advent-1813803]

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