They Signed Marcus Mariota: O Captain! Team Captain!

The Raiders signed Marcus Mariota.

Speaking of signs: I have a little sign at my desk. It says, “This fan has gone ____ days without giving up on the Raiders’ season.” April 1st I start the count-up. Sometimes I make it until the draft, sometimes the preseason. One particularly memorable year I made it all the way to December. That was the year when Derek Carr broke his vertebrae.

Things were supposed to be different

This year I had high hopes. It’s been long enough for Carr to ascend the broke-back mountain of rehab. With QB star-maker Jon Gruden at the helm, this could be the year they return to the heights of 2003…

Then the Raiders signed Marcus Mariota for $17.6 million guaranteed real actual dollars.

There was finally something to look forward to

It was supposed to be a fresh slate, Al Davis was gone… We actually had a stable management situation… Heck, we even have a brand new city, which made a lot of my friends mad but I don’t really care. I allowed myself a rare moment of optimism…

Then the Raiders signed Marcus Mariota to a 2020 base salary ($7.5 million) that would rank him in the top dozen base salaries among 2019 starting quarterbacks.

I thought we had stopped the madness.

The days when the Raiders made ridiculous reaches based almost solely on a players’ athletic ability were supposed to be gone.  Times when they signed Olympic sprinter wide receivers who couldn’t run routes were supposed to be gone. The Raiders making baffling signings of over-the-hill players were supposed to be gone…

Then they signed Marcus Mariota, who had the fastest 40-yard dash among QBs at his combine and 76 passing TDs in 63 NFL games.

I hate being right.

I was looking forward to my pessimism being proven wrong. Last year I gave up on the Raiders after the draft, and it turns out they picked the rookie of the year. Come August I thought they had a legitimate shot at winning zero games, and they ended up 1 game shy of .500. Considering I was so-so about the Raiders’ chances for 2020, history shows they would probably have a winning record and a shot at the playoffs…

Then they signed Marcus Mariota, a QB whose Madden 16 settings were so volatile he did this:

I have a little sign at my desk, “This fan has gone ____ days without giving up on the Raiders’ season.” April 1st I start the count-up. Sometimes I make it until the draft, sometimes the preseason. One particularly memorable year I made it all the way to December, when Derek Carr broke his vertebrae…

Then the Raiders signed Marcus Mariota.

I didn’t even make it to day 1.

If you want even more of Evan Hoovler complaining like a little child, check out our podcast

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