Your Personality Type Is: (Oakland Raiders) The Athletic Warrior

Look, I know this picture doesn’t make sense, but when I Googled “Athletic Warrior,” this is what came up. Our unimpeachable journalistic integrity means I had to post this as the lead image

Every production needs a bad boy, and that’s where this type comes in. If you ask them about culture, they hand you antibiotics. If you asked them the definition of “refined,” they would reach for the dictionary and beat you over the head with it. Seriously, why are you asking a huge, spike-laden beast all these high-falutin’ questions?

But talking with Athletic Warriors does not always carry the risk of being assaulted. This is the type that can most be depended on to get the job done. They will do anything to “just win,” even (especially) if they have to break the rules to get there. In fact, making up rules that others have to follow, while showing blatant disregard for even the most basic of tenets is something they consider “part of their charm.”

This charm is not entirely tongue-in-cheek. This is the best type for pushing people to reach deep inside and find the strength to exceed their perceived limits, people like club-wielding police officers. Speaking of which, the biggest fear of this personality type is having someone else in control. “If you want the job done right, you have to do it yourself,” is not just a saying, but the paranoid mantra of the Athletic Warrior.

The inevitable end to these behaviors is quite predictable: This type is the best at wearing others down and getting asked to put their pants on and leave the baby shower early. Too much, too loud, too late at night: The fast-running Athletic Warrior is always harrowingly close to a crash.

Not happy with your results? Take the quiz again. This time be either more or less honest.

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