May 5, 2021
Statement by Donald J. Trump,
45th President of the United States of America
I will not be continuing my career with the Green Bay “Meat” Packers. Many people say I was the best part of the team, last year. I was working hard and throwing the touchdown “passes.” This is a feat LAME-stream media did not report. I won MVP- BY A LOT- and it was only through extreme fraud that I was robbed of the office of the MVP. Everyone knows Aaron Rodgers left the Packers last year to host Jeopardy, which will never be as good as The Apprentice (me!) I blame Wisconsin Rep Tom Tiffany for not lobbying the NFL to recount the MVP votes when I asked. I always hated the name “Tiffany!” Tom “weak baby” Tiffany narrowly won his election, maybe we should recount his votes. Fraud! Many such cases!
This is what ultra-radical-antifa-tubular libs DON’T want you to see: No one allowed in the stadium to witness the single greatest season in NFL history. Massive scrambling yards (me!) The most Super Bowls ever won in a season! However, watchers were not allowed to watch! Still, your President (me!) managed to do all that while making a cure for the Red Dragon virus. When “sleepy” Aaron Rodgers left the Packers things were not going well. Sad! I came in and they said I was the best, many people said! I won the award for Most Valuable Person, man, woman, TV, Kamara. All lost! Fake news covered it up, they used the cyber to put “Rodgers” on the back of my jersey. No wonder fake news channels like CNN and the Oscars have the worst ratings. Now the NFL will have the worst ratings. Again!
Happy Cinco de Mayo, I love Hispanics!
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[Image credits: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Seal_of_the_President_of_the_United_States.jpg under cc-2.0]
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