Our Analysis is No Joke… But the Jokes Are
The Houston Texans are Super Bowl contenders this season, but unfortunately, the offense is vestigial to those chances. They’re, at worst, a top-three defense in the NFL, and the offense …
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The Houston Texans took just two players at fantasy football-relevant positions: a German project tight end in the second round and a day three wide receiver. Neither are likely to …
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Our tour around the NFL has taken us to God’s Forsaken Division, the AFC South. Admit it, you always forget at least one team in this division when rattling off …
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The Houston Texans needed to regroup on offense. They will be without three locked and loaded starters from 2024: LT Laremy Tunsil, WR Stefon Diggs, and WR Tank Dell. Unsurprisingly, …
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If the Detroit Lions are the #1 all-vibes team in the league, then the Texans aren’t far behind. They added incredible talent in Stefon Diggs, Joe Mixon, Denico Autrey, and …
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The Texans jumped forward about 2 years in their team-building plan as C.J. Stroud hit the ground running last season. He elevated Nico Collins, who floundered under prior quarterbacks and …
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Disclaimer: we are not researchers, just compilers and writers. A majority of these numbers can be found in a myriad of places. For simplicity’s sake, and to prevent you from …
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It’s after the Fourth of July, which means that it’s high time we turn our attention to fantasy football sleepers, breakouts, and busts for every NFL team. The ADP is …
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I have no idea what the Houston Texans are doing. They traded the 12th pick and the 33rd pick in the 2023 NFL draft, along with a 2024 first and …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the wide …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We start off with the …
Read More Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
Read More The Houston Texans are a rebuilding franchise. And, as such, they decided to take players at premium positions in the 2022 NFL Draft with their prime picks (their first three …
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The AFC South might be the most rudderless division in the NFL. The Colts angrily jettisoned Carson Wentz and replaced him with one of the few QBs older than me, …
Read More This might shock you but the Houston Texans turned out to be terrible this season! It seems as though trading all of your good players, except your star quarterback who …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We’ve run through 20 quarterbacks …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We start off with the …
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Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
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The Houston Texans are one of the messiest teams in the history of the NFL. They jettisoned Bill O’Brien and somehow came out the other side worse for wear. They …
Read More It takes a lot of effort to have the Houston Texans in your division and a different team gets the first overall pick in the NFL Draft. Such is the …
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Whenever I rostered Adrian Peterson after his felony child abuse incident, I told myself that I would roster Satan himself in my fantasy football league if he got me 5.0 …
Read More While the middle of April is usually the deadest period for breaking NFL news, 2021 is turning out differently. New Texan Shaq Lawson learned of the team’s switch from 3-4 …
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It’s hard for the Houston Texans to do anything without having people scratch their heads. Last season, they went all-in on a second-round pick and David Johnson for All-Everything wide …
Read More Think about every possible way a team can end up as dysfunctional, and you get an idea of the 2020 Houston Texans. The year started with Bill O’Brien trading DeAndre …
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The NFL regular season is over and heads are already rolling. When NFL teams miss the playoffs, NFL teams fire head coaches. Black Monday 2021 marks the end of many …
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We made it, folks! It’s the fantasy football finals, and it’s time for our final edition of wide receiver sleepers. What a crazy year it was, with the Titans being …
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If you’re reading this, welcome and congratulations to the fantasy football quarterfinals. It’s week fifteen, so ideally you don’t need to find a wide receiver sleeper. But, if you do, …
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It’s time for the 2020 fantasy football playoffs. Hopefully, you have all the guys you need on your roster already. If you don’t, we have a wide receiver sleeper list …
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If you read my article on playing the waiver wire game, you know that it is an essential part of winning your fantasy football league. If you haven’t read it, what …
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I’m proud of us. I’m proud of you, and I’m proud of myself. The NFL? Not so much. Their coronavirus handling kept the league (mostly) on schedule, but they allowed …
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If we are being completely honest, I didn’t think that we would make it to this point… and we almost didn’t. COVID-19 ravaged the league last week, with dozens of …
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It’s time for the Thanksgiving Day games, and with it, a full slate of six teams [update: four teams] to futilely try to pull value from the games. Just like …
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This year, we get our usual triple-tap set of Thanksgiving games, but this year, we don’t have to argue with our uncle about whether or not the change in frequency …
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We’ve hit the double-digit weeks, and only like half of the league is starting to add multiple players to the COVID-19 report every week. Things are fine! This isn’t bad …
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It’s week ten! We did it! We reached a point in the season where the NFL is just going to grit their teeth and push right through to the end …
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We’ve hit the double-digit weeks, and only like half of the league is starting to add multiple players to the COVID-19 report every week. Things are fine! This isn’t bad …
Read More It’s week seven, and every single fantasy football team is in shambles. Well, not every team, but a lot of them! It’s time to plug in the holes in your …
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Every week, fantasy football players bemoan the state of their running backs. With good reason. Running backs are falling like wheat from the chaff. In week six, our running back …
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Four weeks are in the books and everything is a disaster! The Titans are having secret practices, Cam Newton still has COVID-19, and Patrick Mahomes might get it any second …
Read More The first quarter of the 2020 NFL season is in the books and we lost only one game to COVID?! Winner winner! Week four provided some great signs of life …
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Oh, man! Injuries! Coronavirus! More injuries! And even more injuries! At least one of these things was unexpected, but in a more real sense, you could see all of these …
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It’s week four, and if you are like the rest of us, you probably have, or have had, a star wide receiver on the shelf. That means you’ve turned to …
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They trawl fantasy football circles. You must constantly stay vigilant and on the move lest you become overwhelmed and end up one of them. They slowly shuffle toward you. Horrid, …
Read More The Houston Texans completely rejiggered their offense this season, moving DeAndre Hopkins and Carlos Hyde off the roster and adding the services of Randall Cobb, Brandin Cooks, and David Johnson. …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More The 2020 NFL Draft is in the books, and that means it’s time for us to fully turn our attention to the 2020 NFL season and fantasy football. While COVID-19 …
Read More We’ve taken our tour around the NFL, looking at each team and figuring out their best bets for increasing their fantasy football production through the 2020 NFL Draft. Today, we …
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The Houston Texans and Arizona Cardinals completed one of the most baffling one-for-one (plus miscellany) swaps in NFL history on March 16. The Texans sent DeAndre Hopkins and a fourth-round …
Read More Everything looked great for the Houston Texans and their 2019 hopes right up until Bill O’Brien chose to kick a field goal to go up 24-0 on fourth & one …
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We’re down to 8 teams vying for the Super Bowl. We asked our Football Absurdity staff to weigh in on each of this week’s four exciting NFL divisional round playoff matchups. …
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AFC Divisional Round Matchup: Houston Texans (10-6) at Kansas City Chiefs (12-4) Sunday, January 12, 12:05 PM PST (CBS) The Houston Texans almost lost last weekend against Josh Allen, of …
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AFC Wild Card Matchup: Buffalo Bills (10-6) at Houston Texans (10-6) Saturday, January 4, 1:35 PM PST (ESPN) The Bills and the Texans face off in the first NFL AFC …
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Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity Editor-in-Chief The Texans now have the coveted “let’s get this out of the way” game each season. They host a team …
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Should I Start or Sit Patrick Laird, Carlos Hyde, or LeSean McCoy in Week 15? As you know, my wife and I are going head to head this year to …
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This week for my start or sit article, I’ll be spotlighting running backs ranked around the middle of the pack. I will let you know my thoughts on them, and …
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Should I Start or Sit Jacob Hollister, Kyle Rudolph, or Darren Fells in Week 13? As you know, my wife and I are going head to head this year to …
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Well, it’s week eight of the fantasy football season. You realized that you’ve made a ton of errors in your awful teams and you hate yourself. It’s time to turn …
Read More Well, it’s week seven of the fantasy football season. You realized that you’ve made a ton of errors in your awful teams, so it’s time to get some good fuzzies …
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We’ve hit week seven, and the halfway point to most fantasy football leagues. We’ve also seemingly reached the ceremonial drop-dead point for a lot of teams in fantasy football leagues. …
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Tight end is an absolute disaster this week. Everybody between 50% ownership and 10% ownership is hurt, on bye, or a disaster (except one guy!) With that in mind, let’s …
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Ah, daily fantasy football. The last bastion of fantasy football junkies, who can’t do any significant roster tinkering on a Saturday, so they wander into their daily fantasy football client …
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Ah, daily fantasy football. The last bastion of fantasy football junkies, who can’t do any significant roster tinkering on a Saturday, so they wander into their daily fantasy football client …
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“Changes aren’t permanent, but change is!” I think Geddy Lee wrote those lyrics after looking at his fantasy football running back group after a particularly bad week. Yes, I know …
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It’s fantasy football week one, which means the first of sixteen weeks of agonizing over every single lineup decision. We at Football Absurdity want to help you with the hardest …
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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The 2019 NFL Draft is in the rearview mirror, and it’s time for the next part of the NFL calendar. That’s right… massive, rampant speculation! They will go through drills …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More 2018’s Best Fantasy Football Player: DeAndre Hopkins, Wide Receiver 2018’s Biggest Fantasy Football Disappointment: Any Myriad of WRs Hyped at Some Point Throughout the Season 2019 Fantasy Football Draft Wishlist: …
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2019 NFL Wild Card Predictions We know it’s a week late but we think the song that should kick off the NFL playoffs is ‘It’s the most wonderful time of …
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Fantasy Football Week 13: Start or Sit Austin Ekeler, Gus Edwards, or Lamar Miller? It’s week 13, which means for many of us it is a de facto week one …
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Fantasy Football Week 12: Start or Sit Mohamed Sanu, Keke Coutee, or Sterling Shepard? Week twelve is upon us, which means that some of us are just two games away …
Read More Week 11 WR Sleepers Every week, we highlight WR sleepers available in over 50% of Yahoo! leagues to help you find players streamable to help you win! For those of …
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Thursday Night Farceball Week 8: Miami Dolphins at Houston Texans Unless you’re a Houston Texans or Miami Dolphins fan, there is no reason for any rational person to watch this matchup. …
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Fantasy Football Week 8: Start or Sit Cam Newton, Matthew Stafford, or Deshaun Watson? It feels like the fantasy football season just started, but this is the last week where …
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Week 7: Start or Adrian Peterson, Bilal Powell, or Lamar Miller? Every week at Football Absurdity, we like to help you with your start or sit decisions. However, we have …
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Week 7: Start or Sit Will Fuller, Larry Fitzgerald, or Demaryius Thomas? Every week at Football Absurdity, we like to help you with your start or sit decisions. However, we …
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If you’ve read this far from the beginning of our 2018 fantasy football sleeper, breakouts and bust series, thank you! And congratulations on being a bigger try-hard than J.J. Watt. …
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Welcome to the Thirty Team Parlay, a weekly column on Football Absurdity that focuses on the week in football gambling advice. We’ll bring you the best bets, biggest longshots, and …
Read More If you only want the best wide receivers on your team, then this fantasy football DeAndre Hopkins player profile is for you. As we gear up to the start of …
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Finally, we come to the AFC South and the Houston Texans. The Texans had the most eye-popping five-game stretch of any team last season as Deshaun Watson set the league …
Read More If you draft your running backs hoping they will finally be good, then this fantasy football Lamar Miller player profile is for you. As we gear up to the start …
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If you are all about getting hyped about quarterbacks this year, then this fantasy football Deshaun Watson player profile will get you pumped. As we gear up to the start …
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The AFC South is the most forgettable division in the NFL since realignment. The Jags ran it for a while, then Peyton Manning put an iron fist on the division. …
Read MoreAs their name implies, Astro Dynamo Rockets hate inertia. If this personality type was a Saturday morning cartoon, their arch enemy would be Captain Boredom. That actually might not make …
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If it weren’t for an untimely (and completely hidden from the world) Deshaun Watson injury last season on top of injuries to J.J. Watt and Whitney Mercilus, we could have …
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This week my co-worker, Jeff Krisko, suggested that starting Evan Engram is the smart fantasy football play. I’ve have questions asking what an Absurdity Check is. An Absurdity Check is …
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Don’t get me wrong, I love Waleed. I think he’s a great guy. He’s funny as all get-out, and he has a sweet afro. Unfortunately, his fantasy football prognostication skills …
Read More This week my co-worker, Jeff Krisko, suggested that starting Carson Wentz is the smart fantasy football play. While I am a big fan of Carson Wentz and what he has …
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As we enter into week five of the fantasy football season, many teams are looking for ways to improve their roster. If you’ve read up on our guide to initiating …
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We are a quarter of the way through the 2017 NFL Season and nothing has gone as expected. Just the way we like it. The only thing predicable about the …
Read More The week five waiver wire is an interesting place to look for wide receivers. Two of the top ten receivers for this past week are available in most leagues. One …
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As we head into the week five waiver wire pool, you are starting to miss your chance to get a break out candidate at quarterback. There is one every year …
Read More Week four has come and one and if you played any of the top players from this week, I have to wonder what other terrible decisions you are making in …
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Tonight’s Thursd— The Bengals-Texa— It felt like it was imp— Look can you j— Can I go now? Okay. Now that that’s out of the way, you now understand the …
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The Texans thought it would be a great idea to trot Brock Osweiler out last year after being embarrassed by the likes of Ryan Mallett and Brian Hoyer in 2015. …
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