2020 Rookie Fantasy Football Team Names: This Is No Jordanary Love

2020 rookie fantasy football team names list co-authored by Jimmy Brown, Karl Leslie, Jason Lu, and Bryan Sclar

I love this painstakingly-written 2020 rookie fantasy football team name list. I love our writers: I genuinely believe they are the best in the world at coming up with fantasy football team names. A big reason is that they are just naturally talented. Another reason is I made strict guidelines for what qualifies as a “good enough” name. Because if there’s one thing I know about lighthearted, pun based comedy, it’s that you must have STRICT RULES TO MAXIMIZE THE FUN.

Here are my two rules for 2020 rookie fantasy football team names:

  • The team name must contain at least two syllables from the player or players names
  • The player names must be at least one-third of the total number of syllables in the team name

A bit rigid, yes, but rookie team names are always one of our most popular articles, so I insist on trying to be the best. Yes, the writers probably resent the restrictions, but again, I love them.

2020 Rookie Fantasy Football Team Names

Player(s) 2020 Rookie Fantasy Football Team Name
Adam Trautman
Derrick Henry
Younghoe Koo
I Get Derrick Traut of Koo
Cam Akers Green Akers
CeeDee Lamb CDC Lamb
Clyde Edwards-Helaire Fresh Prince of Helaire
Clyde Edwards-Helaire
Henry Ruggs III
H.E.L.A.I.R.E. to Keep Kids off Ruggs
Cole Kmet Kmet the Frog
Haley’s Kmet
Cole Kmet
N’Keal Harry
Mo Alie-Cox
When Harry Kmet Alie-Cox
D’Andre Swift My D’Inner with D’Andre
Jacob Eason
AJ Brown
Eason Brown the Road
Jalen Hurts
Jake Fromm
Straight Fromm the Hurts’s Mouth
Jalen Reagor Occam’s Reagor
Reagors of the Lost Chark
Jerry Jeudy Judge Jeudy
JK Dobbins
Dwayne Haskins
Haskin Dobbins (31 Reagors)
Joe Burrow Can I Burrow a Thielen?
Joe Burrow
D’Andre Swift
Do you even Swift, Burrow?
Jonathan Taylor Taylor Made
A Taylor as Darnold as Time
Jordan Love This Is No Jordanary Love
Jordan Love
Zach Ertz
Love Ertz
Justin Herbert
Mike Evans
Derrius Guice
KFC’s ElEvans Secret Herberts and Guices
Justin Jefferson Don’t Jefferson Go Down on Me
Tua Tagovailoa It Fits Tua T
Tua Tagovailoa
JK Dobbins
Here’s Tua You, Mrs. Dobbinson

Keep visiting Football Absurdity for daily 2020 fantasy football content, like our bi-weekly podcast (weekly if you throw us a few bucks on Patreon). Or join the fun by hopping in our Discord to write team names with us.

Special editor’s note: Justin Jefferson has a hard name to make a fantasy football team name from. We had a list of all the players we wanted to use and we crossed each one off once we came up with a name, Jefferson was the last player remaining. So that’s why I left the Elton John song team name up there despite it having other meanings.

[Photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/juliollfilho/6349309696/ under cc-2.0]