Whattup, subscribers: It’s ya’ boy, Shakey here. Comin’ in hot with the week three injury report stuffed FULL of all the “forsooth’s” and “thine’s” you can handle.
Week Three Injury Report
Thy pains not used must by thyself be paid,
His sprain will keep this QB waylaid.
What pleasure, sir, find we in life, to lock it,
But, you’ll see, on Sunday, that Drew Lock sits.
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Will Josh Jacobs start, and playeth in full?
He practices, but halt: He remains questionable!
Where lies the fate of Raheem Mostert?
Defend him, friends! For he is out, hurt.
His seated heart hath knocked at his ribs,
It’s a real medical condition, just trust me: it is.
Though a rolling moss gathers narry a stone,
This Moss will be spending Sunday at home.
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We mustn’t let questionable tags distract us,
Kenny G should play after limited practice
Let the clues allude to what answers you seek,
Julio is a game-time decision, but he practiced narry once this week
Knee injuries are like babes in that we must cradle them,
Check back before game-time about Julian Edelman
Parting is but the sweetest sorrow,
Except when Crowder parts with your starting lineup, on the ‘morrow
Ta’en from the armoury with a broken Hilton,
He shall not be a player your lineup is built on
Your commendations, madam, get from her barters,
Your Davante Adams, get them away from your starters
Got a quantity you want iambically metered? Leave it in the comments section!
The end of human misery,
is Waller saying he’ll play to TMZ
Double bubble, toil and trouble,
Frank Reich says he’ll play Doyle, but he’s still on the injury, um, bubble
That’s it for now. Don’t forget: If I get 7 billion retweets I’ll reveal who is actually in charge of my Twitter account and wrote 5 of my most famous plays!
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