Super Bowl 2021 Facts
Those are our final batch of 2021 Super Bowl facts! This concludes our fascinating facts for the season. But it doesn’t conclude me writing copy, because if I don’t lay down 300 words, here, search engines think I’m a bot. But I’m not a bot, there’s no way a bot could have done the arduous research involved in making these original facts. A bot couldn’t have drank all the beer I did researching these facts. In fact, a bot couldn’t get thrown in a holding cell for loudly screaming “I NEED MORE FACTS” in my front yard, repeatedly, in the middle of the night. It would also hold true that a bot couldn’t have taken a thread out of a cot blanket and used it to methodically whittle through a jail bar over the course of years.
Know what else a bot couldn’t do? Get stuck while trying to squeeze through a gap between prison bars. Also, a bot could not deftly pass off being caught escaping prison by acting like I was trying to block the gap to prevent more prisoners from escaping. A bot would also not be able to plead guilty to escaping prison, thus smartly reducing my sentence to 8 years. Actually, come to think of it, I guess a bot would be able to do that last thing.
Anyway, I have to sign off: If I want more computer time it’ll cost me 5 cigarettes.