Friday Football Freakshow: Funny NFL Hot Takes from Standing People

Funny NFL

There is a funny NFL phenomenon where people make baffling “kneeling” jokes in the comments section of articles about black players getting ejected, or black players getting injured, or black players basically doing anything that is completely unrelated to protesting police brutality against black people. 
Funny NFL

These are all from the same ESPN article about Marshawn Lynch’s ejection. Yes, that guy did make the same confusing, lazy joke twice in the same comments section. I really want to understand both sides of the story, but every time I delve into the rabbit hole of people against the funny NFL kneeling stuff, it just seems to be a matter of misconstruing what the players are kneeling for. Well, not always, sometimes it’s about midgets, somehow:

Funny NFL

Thanks for the advice, I will let that sink in. Another thing I let sink in, which apparently this Twitter person did not, is the history of extreme anti-American sentiment during the Vietnam War. If you think people are divided on kneeling vs standing, take a trip back to 1970, when the debate was “spitting or throwing a parade, how should we treat veterans?” And that didn’t stop the 1970s children from growing up willing to honorably protect our country’s oil and heroin deposits. Also, how come no one is protesting that we can no longer propose marriage during the national anthem without being pegged as a political dissident?

This comment, appropriately posted in an article titled “Derrick Henry Ready for Bigger Role with Murray Ailing,” gets our Own of the Week stamp:

Funny NFL

I throw a lot of parties, some of them even have other people. My advice to this poster is that he should probably pick a more exciting theme for his party than “there will be no football.” I learned this advice myself while running my ultimately failing restaurant named “No More Rat Problem.” That one commenter, Jason, knows how to advertise his party: Highlight the food.

Let’s enjoy our apparently rare ability to actually move on from the kneeling debacle, and examine people who desperately need to blame fantasy pundits:

funny NFL

Yes, let us assign 100% of the blame to CBSSports’ Jamey Eisenberg for not foreseeing Marshawn Lynch coming off the bench and shoving a referee. I mean, Eisenberg didn’t predict this funny NFL development AT ALL, he could have at least said, ” Marshawn Lynch will likely shove somebody.” Hedge your bets, Jamey! Confused, angry internet people are holding you accountable!

Finally, I want to bring this all the way back to the funny NFL sub-world of fantasy and lighten the mood by examining someone who is obviously very new to superflex.

Funny NFL

Ah, to be young again. Jason from Yahoo Sports!, if you are reading this, let me set you straight: Take their QB ratings, copy them, and paste them at the top of their flex rankings list. There, you now have a superflex ranking.

I hope you have learned a lot from these peeks into the minds of the seriously inept. At the very least, I hope someone, somewhere, has learned something. Because I sure haven’t.

For more crazy hot takes from crazy, crazed people, obsessive-compulsively click these links:

Friday Football Freakshow Preseason

Friday Football Freakshow: The Hot Takes Awards

Friday Football Freakshow: Hot Takes from People Who Are Cold and Dead inside

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