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Are you a good person? Yes, I am great at mental gymnastics        No, I suffer from crippling self-loathing

Are you a good person? Yes, I saved a bunch of burning orphans                                                                  No, I saved a bunch of burning orphans with my ample-sized bladder

Are you quick to jump on a bandwagon? Yes, my garage is full of meat smokers and poker tables No, my garage is as empty as my social calendar               

Are you quick to jump on a bandwagon? Yes, I plan to reproduce just as my ancestors did for eons before me No, I stay celibate specifically to spite a …

Are you quick to jump on a bandwagon? Yes, I go to interventions just for fun                              …

Are you quick to jump on a bandwagon? Yes, where is this bandwagon? No, I’ll never go sober                 

Do you like rules? Yes, rules are a constant construct we all have to follow, like gravity No, I strongly believe I can fly                                                                                    

Do you like rules? Yes, without rules people would eat weird stuff and get sick   No, I just ate some moldy bread and now I’m not even sure… what’s… going… …

Do you like rules? Yes, rules help us support our brave, strong leaders                                    …

Do you like rules? Yes, Monopoly makes no sense without rules, it’s just rolling two dice                              …

Do you like rules? No, there are never any repercussions to breaking the rules Yes, if I click “no” my probation officer will call me

Do you like rules? Yes, I’m an uptight wet blanket No, I’m an annoying slacker       

Do you like rules? Yes, everyone has to follow certain universal rules, especially death No, I am going to live forever                                                                                    

Do you like rules? Yes, without rules people would do stupid, paradoxical things No, I hate rules so much I’m actually going to click “yes,” here 

Do you like conflict? No, I think the world should be all rainbows                                    …

Do you like conflict? Yes, I love talking politics at the Thanksgiving dinner table                      No, I spent two hours listening to politics at the Thanksgiving table because I was afraid …

Do you like conflict? Yes, I even combine strong acids and bases when cleaning No, I don’t even clean: Germs should roam free                …

Do you like conflict? Yes, I mix champagne and downers on the reg                                         No, I won’t even mix foods from countries that hate each other

Do you like conflict? Yes. I wish this guy here would start punching me!                 No. I wish this guy here would stop punching …

Do you like conflict? Yes, I’ll go to your house and smash your fine china!                                …

Do you like conflict? Yes, I love blood diamonds                                            …

Do you like conflict? No. My friends told me to say no   Yes. My friends told me to say no

Do you like conflict? Yes, they can take my guns when they pry them from my cold, dead hands                        …

Do you like conflict? Yes Actually, conflict was created in 1982 by the CIA as a means of smothering the ghettos. So I don’t like conflict because I am not …

Do you like conflict? A. I don’t know, maybe?          B. I don’t know, maybe not?

Do you like conflict? A. Yes, in fact, I am punching someone right now                                                                                                                                        B. No, in fact, someone is punching me right now and I have decided to deal …

Do you like conflict? A. Yes, that dress does make you look fat B. No, I’m still married                            …

Do you like conflict? A. Yes B. I’m afraid to say Yes

Do you like conflict? A. Yes! I never shower so that people will be offended B. No! I never shower so that people will stay away  

Do you like conflict? A. yes B. NO!  

You may have been rooting for the wrong team, all these years! That’s where Football Absurdity has you covered: A no-nonsense, no-hugbox personality test that has been shown to accurately …

After Divisional Round: Name Wins Losses Wins ATS Losses ATS Pt differential (total) Pt Diff (Avg) Sataere 6 2 2 6 154 19.25 Stevie Lee 5 3 6 2 255 …

Answer: Dan Marino (San Marino) Source

Answer: Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns

Answer: Q  

Answer: The Oakland Raiders moved from Oakland to L.A., back to Oakland, and is expected to move to Las Vegas in 2020  

Answer: The Los Angeles Rams have moved from Cleveland to L.A. to St. Louis, then back to L.A. Source

Answer: The New York Jets  

Answer: The Arizona Cardinals Source

Answer: In overtime, the first team to get the ball makes a field goal. The other team gets the ball, but then either fumbles or throws an interception. The team …

Answer: He stepped out of bounds. If a player has a part of their body out of bounds when fielding a kickoff, it counts as a kick out of bounds …

Answer: On an extra point by team A, team B blocks it, recovers, and runs down the field. However, shortly before reaching the end zone, Team B fumbles. Team A …

Playoff teams: Rank TEAM NAME POINTS BYE 89 is awesome with the ladies 10-3 record BYE First Down with the Sickness 2053 BYE Tyler, Tyler, Tyrell, Taylor & Tyler 8-5 …

In week 6 of the 2006 season, many owners went into Monday night football ahead by a few points with just their starting quarterback left. Rather than bench him, most …

In week 6 of the 2006 season, many owners went into Monday night football ahead by a few points with just their starting quarterback left. Rather than bench him, most …

In week 6 of the 2006 season, many owners went into Monday night football ahead by a few points with just their starting quarterback left. Rather than bench him, most …

In week 6 of the 2006 season, many owners went into Monday night football ahead by a few points with just their starting quarterback left. Rather than bench him, most …

3. In 2014, fantasy owners rejoiced when this first-round-pick receiver was declared eligible against the lowly New York Jets, despite struggling with injuries. However, the coaching staff used him almost …

In 2014, fantasy owners rejoiced when this first-round-pick receiver was declared eligible against the lowly New York Jets, despite struggling with injuries. However, the coaching staff used him almost entirely …

During his rookie year, this rising receiver looked poised to score on a long punt return during Monday Night Football. Instead, he punished owners brave enough to start him by …

During his rookie year, this rising receiver looked poised to score on a long punt return during Monday Night Football. Instead, he punished owners brave enough to start him by …

Ooooh, so close. You were streaking down the sidelines, then inexplicably fumbled the ball at the 1. 76,000 fans boo you and pelt you with soda and rocks, but sadly …

Wow! You managed to get one question right! Like a Monday night QB performance that doubles your fantasy team score to 80, you don’t even get the satisfaction of feeling …

You did a perfect job of getting a small portion of the questions correct! Like a 7-9 team, you have great potential for the future. There’s only one thing: You …

Aggressively mediocre! You have some of the knowledge, but not an encyclopedic ability to recall significant players. It’s all or nothing, bud, so start forgetting every single name you know, …

Oh-for-Five! That’s amazing, you must have had no strife in your fantasy football career. Must be nice for you, why don’t you just rub it in all our faces, jerk. …

Congratulations! Your fantasy life must have been filled with such strife that the worst moments have burned themselves in your brain with the painfulness of a cattle brand. Celebrate the …

Days after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …

Days after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …

Days after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …

Days after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …

Days after 2015’s week 15 had concluded, many fantasy football semifinal results were reversed when it was revealed that statisticians mistakenly credited this fantasy-relevant RB with a 13-yard rushing loss: …

In 2014, fantasy owners rejoiced when this first-round-pick receiver was declared eligible against the lowly New York Jets, despite struggling with injuries. However, the coaching staff used him almost entirely …

In 2014, fantasy owners rejoiced when this first-round-pick receiver was declared eligible against the lowly New York Jets, despite struggling with injuries. However, the coaching staff used him almost entirely …

With teams reporting to training camp this week, the start of football season has finally arrived!  To usher in the 2017 NFL season, I have decided to start a football …

Congratulations! You win!!! Your fortitude in lasting this long before throwing in the towel proves that you’ve got the exact kind of self-loathing built for fantasy football. Enjoy your newfound …

You must have flinched when you flipped the coin, interfering with the hand of fate’s ability to correctly manipulate the chances. Your kicker strains his hamstring on the opening kickoff. …

A good, strong coin flip is sufficient to let the universe guide the coin to the optimal position. That said, you must have especially weak thumb muscles, as kicker B …

You elect for the usually-tight Jaguars defense. However, that morning, the last jaguar on Earth goes extinct due to a government-engineered supervirus that only affects cats. Out of respect to the …

Starting the upstart Kroft over the proven stud Kelce was a huge risk. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a monumental error, as Kroft is blanketed by the secondary and …