Holiday Gift Fantasy Team Names

It’s a good time for holiday gift fantasy football team names! This list was co-authored by Ken Bakken, Evan Hoovler, and Joseph Leszkowicz.

Like capitalism, Santa Claus is our God and unfeeling overlord. All children live in terror that Santa will break into their homes, judge them as “naughty,” then take away their favorite toys. Or maybe it’s just me, I had very strict parents.

It’s the time of year when everyone drives to the shopping mall, spends half an hour looking for parking, realizes the shopping mall was destroyed by wrecking balls personally operated by Jeff Bezos, drives home, does all their shopping online, then rails a couple Xanax. That can’t be just me, for sure.

Cool! Hopefully, that’s enough copy that my SEO plug in gives me the “green light” which indicates that this article has enough words for search engines to consider it “nice.”

Also, elves! Elves built these team names in their workshop, because the North Pole refuses to recognize the 13th amendment. Good times, happy holidays!

Holiday Gift Fantasy Team Names

Salvon-tion Ahm-y

Bridgewater BB Gun

Red Clyder Bebe Hunt

Toy Carrs

Hocks and Hender-ware

Lamar-bucks Gofft Carrds

Witt Abdulla-Fant Gift Eks-change


Rugg-ly Sweater

Elf on Michel-f

Christmas Cam Gurley

The Nutcr-Ekeler

Give yourself a holiday gift and try out Fan Duel! That link lets them know we sent you! It also gets you $5 bonus cash to play with if you make a deposit.

Then, follow Football Absurdity on Twitter!
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Beersheets Arizona Cardinals Seattle Seahawks Los Angeles Rams San Francisco 49ers


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