Now, Dissler! Now, Dancler! Now, Prater and Mixon!
On, Kmet! On Kuppid! Brandonder and Fitzen!
In 1897, the New York Sun wrote, “Yes, Virginia, there is a fantasy football playoffs. It exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.” A timeless statement that, when you really think about it, could also be applied to Santa Claus.
For those of you hoping the jolly, no-doubt diabetic Saint Nick will pull a fantasy title out of his sack, we’ve got a bit of inspiration. Change your fantasy football team name to one on this list. Santa will comb through all of the fantasy leagues and deliver first-place titles to only those who have appropriately-themed names. It’s an imperfect system, but he’s in charge so we just have to deal.
Santa Claus Fantasy Football Team Names
Kupp on the Kroft-top Damiere Paws
Younghoe Hoe Hoe
Cole Saints Nick (Chubb)
Boyd to the Gurl
Goff-ty the Throwman
Lockett around the SwiftMoss Tyreek
Wentz Koo Drive My Slayton-ite
The Pollard Ek-spress
Humph of Cole
Jonnu find out who’s Naugh-tee or Hines
Santos Claus is Cam-ing Drew Brown
Hockens were Hunt by the ChiMooney with Carr
If this has you hankerin’ for some fantasy sports, try out Fan Duel! That link lets them know we sent you! It also gets you $5 bonus cash to play with if you make a deposit.
[Photo Credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Santa_Claus_C217259.jpg under cc-2.0]