Hot NFL Takes from Crazy People: Gronk Plays Fair

Fewer hot NFL takes this week, but that’s because these takes are so much hotter than usual. Or it’s because I’m phoning it in for the holidays. I ain’t gotta lie to kick it. 

So the list of “worst fan base commenters” is still 1. Minnesota, 2. New England, 3. Seattle, but closing the gap at #4 is Dallas Cowboys fans:

Eagles Hot NfL Takes

The Philadelphia Eagles won three NFL championships. Holy shit, Cowboys fans, Wikipedia exists and is a real thing. At the very least don’t double down on your nonsense. You may be asking, “when the comments section inevitably dogpiled on these two extremely factually-inaccurate Cowboys fans, did they recant?” My answer is, “dude this isn’t `Hot Takes from Feel-Good People who make you feel good.'” Holiday spirit is dead, existence is a joke… But still not as big a joke as drafting a top QB when you already have perhaps the best QB of the last few draft classes.

Two QBs NFL Hot Takes

First of all, “Alarmar Jackson” is not his name, and doesn’t Google autocorrect when I search for it. So I’m already mad at this commenter. Second, CRAP ON A CRACKER, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TWO QBS ON THE FIELD AT THE SAME TIME? There’s only one ball, dude.

Sure I get angry over this nonsense. Sure, I have a problem. Sure, American correctional facilities have done little to curb me of this problem. Still, I’m not AS ANGRY AS THIS STUPID JERK, WHO TAKES PERSONAL OFFENSE AT A TYPO:

typo nfl hot takes

The author simply typed “Giants” when they should have typed “Raiders.” That’s it. FIRE UP YOUR CAPS LOCKS, BITCHES!

Finally, I feel like Patriots fans have simultaneously the selectively shortest and the longest attention spans. On the one hand, they can name plays from 15 years ago. On the other hand, they make posts like this one, from an article about GRONK FAILING TO APOLOGIZE PERSONALLY FOR HIS EXTREMELY CHEAP SHOT THAT GAVE A PRONE PLAYER A CONCUSSION:

Gronk hot nfL takes

Hey, I am totally willing to concede that Gronk probably doesn’t use steroids or other PEDs. But posting “He plays fair” in the comments section of an article about how Gronk hasn’t directly apologized for giving a guy a concussion long after the play was dead? I know, the bad few ruins the perception of the mostly good commenters, but damn Patriots, your “bad few” is really, really bad.

Sources:

http://www.espn.com/nfl/draft2018/story/_/id/21836489/2018-nfl-draft-quarterback-class-preview-background-scouting-reports-pro-fits

https://sports.yahoo.com/fantasy-sit-start-lineup-advice-every-week-16-game-214442979.html

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000896380/article/ezekiel-elliotts-return-catch-rule-update-whitegronk-rematch

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000896397/article/tredavious-white-hasnt-received-apology-from-gronk

For more reasons to get angry about hot NFL takes, click these links:

Hot Takes from Crazy People: Females Are Empowered in the Workplace… Who Is the Victim, Here

Hot Takes from Crazy People: Browns Is the Blacks

NFL Hot Takes from Crazy People: Jameis Winston’s Reach-Around

 

 

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