Friday Football Freakshow: Crazy Comments from Possibly Rabid Fans

Crazy comments

The first of our crazy comments comes from the Yahoo Sports article, “Week 3 deep sleepers and DFS bargains”

Crazy comments

First of all, it’s spelled Foreman, assuming he’s talking about Houston’s upstart RB D’Onta Foreman. That’s an easy, excusable mistake. What’s inexcusable is the Foreman isn’t playing at the Texans, he’s playing for the Texans. Also, they’re not playing at the Texans, they’re playing at New England. Five words and you managed to cram in three errors.

What elevated this comment to “FFF-worthy” status is that, even after decrypting it, I still don’t understand what the question is. What about D’Onta Foreman? Is he a good start? Is he a good DFS buy? I’m going to call into a fantasy football show and just ask “James Conner at Steelers… comments?” and refuse to say anything else.

Or maybe caring about fantasy football at all makes me a nerd AND there’s apparently something wrong with that, according to this ESPN commenter:

Crazy comments

These are all true statements:

“Guys that set around in front of ps in their free time”

Okay, the statements that are coherent are all true. Let’s try this again:

“Nerds, geeks, fanboys, wimps, never played the game”

Guilty as charged.

“and they expect people who spend their lives being physical to care about their fantasies of being a gm.”

I mean, I expect them to care about scoring lots of yards and TDs, and I guess this is just kind of a roundabout and angry way to say that.

“not fantasies of being players, making big plays starring in the game, but fantasies of drafting, reading the injury wires… that’s how they get their kicks”

Yep. I love this stuff.

Then the commenter takes a hilarious sharp turn which I find delightful…

“htf could this country ever fight another war with this as the stock for it’s[sic] soldiers.”

Very poignant. If only we eliminated fantasy football, we would win wars like the soldiers of previous generations, who bravely won us wars in Korea and Vietnam.

Why does Marvin Lewis have his job when he hasn’t won a playoff game in 15 years? Well, the answer is obviously because…

Crazy comments

Seriously, folks, black people have been receiving advantages in this country for hundreds of years! Have you ever noticed that no black man has ever been fired from any job, anywhere (except for missing work after being shot by police)? Black privilege!

A great place for idiotic takes is the crazy comments section of gambling articles. This comes from CBS sports pick for the Cincinnati-Dallas game:

Doesnt understand gambling.jpg

A shockingly deep pick that the Cowboys will beat the hapless Cardinals. Not to mention Dallas is picked to win by 3, so good luck getting a bookie to take your straight-up bet. Or maybe they will, I have no idea how gambling works (which is why I don’t have car insurance).

You know what’s fun? Commenting on fantasy football articles after the game is done, to make your shockingly accurate predictions:

Crazy comments

This was posted after Kupp posted a 2-for-17 line. I also enjoy the reluctancy to actually make a prediction between Thompson and Tyrell. Give him 72 more hours, I’m sure he’ll have a pick.

We’re kicking off a new segment, the Burn of the Week. This week’s burn comes on one of several crazy comments in CBS sports’ recap of the stunning Rams-49ers game:

Crazy comments

I did enjoy the original commenter’s abundant use of three-letter acronyms but the response is correct: That was TMI.

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