Lotsa people posting crazy NFL hot takes. Lotsa people doing hard drugs. Some people are doing both, like this commenter from an ESPN article about the expanded role of rookie running backs:
Even in their week 13 power rankings, ESPN doesn’t rank the Cowboys ahead of the Steelers, nor Seattle #1. Why someone decided to do powerful hallucinogens then read ESPN articles is sad and beyond my comprehension.
On the subject of drugs, this poster from the same power rankings piece is clearly doing more meth in Los Angeles than a 1990s pop-punk band:
Yep, Cleveland, St. Louis, and Los Angeles are definitely America’s team, if we lived in a run-down, horrible version of America. Oh, wait.
Speaking of Cleveland, have you ever wanted to be racist and mix metaphors at the same time? Just hit up a Yahoo article about how to fix the Browns:
You heard it here, first: Browns is the new blacks.
Still, I found that comment less annoying than the average noise posted by Vikings fans, lately. By far, Vikings fans have to be the current title-holder for “worst comments by a fan base.” In a recent “bold predictions” article on Yahoo, Heath Evans praised the Vikings defense and said he thinks they will shut down Atlanta’s potent offense. Somehow this managed to upset a Vikings fan:
Congrats, Vikings fans, you passed New England fans for “worst.” Despite this post from an NFL.com article about Carolina’s DB getting suspended:
If you’re going to say unrealistic nonsense to support your team, at least do it in an endearing way. Take a lesson from this piece about the Redskins-Cowboys matchup:
Ah yes, the cover of Madden. The most elite award, given only to high-caliber players such as Peyton Hillis and Vince Young.
I don’t really have a segue into the content of this next post, from a Yahoo article about Josh Gordon’s potential fantasy impact:
Honestly, I’m just relieved to learn that “hyped up on the wang juice,” isn’t a slur against Chinese people.
Speaking of offensive misunderstandings, this poster from an USAToday.com article on the Talib-Crabtree suspensions neither understands the term “abuse” nor “slap on the wrist:”
Finally, the whole Kaepernick/kneeling issue seems to be dying down, especially with the NFL pledging $89 million to improve police-community relations. Even articles about Kaepernick, like this one about his winning the Sports Illustrated Muhammad Ali Legacy award, are only attracting racist comments from people who actually think they have some experience with the subject. But what if you think that you have LOTS of experience with the subject? Better post eight freaking times:
I did look at this guy’s linked Facebook, to see if I could determine the truth about his race claims. He had about 50 different profile pics, but I could not find a single picture of him. I’m not saying he’s lying… except about North Carolina not being a part of the deep South. The rest of America thinks it is, sorry.
For More NFL Hot Takes from Crazy People, click these links in a sane and rational manner: