You elect for the usually-tight Jaguars defense. However, that morning, the last jaguar on Earth goes extinct due to a government-engineered supervirus that only affects cats. Out of respect to the paw-footed victims, the Jacksonville Jaguars elect to just lie down and let [Editor’s Note: You can’t just say <Horrible Baltimore Backup Quarterback>. You actually have to pick one] score all over them.
Time for the brutally arbitrary position known as “kicker.” There’s kicker A and B, but seriously just go flip a coin.