Each week, NFL Hot Takes from Crazy People brings you recalescent perspectives from the mentally eccentric, like those nutjobs who insist on using a thesaurus to make a simple sentence sound ridiculous.
Jameis Winston’s alleged groping of an Uber driver’s crotch was a hot bed for hot takes. Luckily, Wanda from North Carolina is the detective we deserve, with a deduction that is as logically airtight as it is unnecessarily organized:
When pressed as to what her sources were, and why she didn’t consider the very article she was posting under, which claimed there was a person “sitting next to” the Uber driver, as a source, Wanda decided it was time to reveal her shocking informant on the inside:
Wanda shows true journalistic integrity not naming that “other” service, so that her son’s employer will remain a total mystery to any potential doxxers.
Speaking of mysteries, why do people who hate fantasy football like to sit around the comments of fantasy football sections making fun of people? If you want to do that, just go all in, get a six-pack, and stand outside a church basement making fun of all those “loser” recovering alcoholics:
This was from an article originally published in Yahoo! Finance, so compliments to EZ for reaching outside of his comfort zone.
A comment that makes me reach outside my comfort zone to the point I feel like a cold shower was this doozy from a reaction video about Tyrod Taylor’s benching.
Now, admittedly, the newscaster does butcher the sentence at 0:04, but I don’t understand the commenter’s conclusion that because someone did something bad with their lips. they would be better at an action that mostly involves the lips.
Finally, with the news coverage on anthem-kneeling dying down, racists-in-denial have found themselves starved for attention. This commenter had to go so far as to post this manifesto in an excellent, but totally unrelated piece about the Jerry Jones-Roger Goodell feud:
Mmmm, yes, this “unknown author’s” ridiculous stereotyping of all black people presents an excellent argument about why the players should be cool about the police’s ridiculous stereotyping of all black people.
That’s all the NFL Hot Takes from Crazy People for this week, because my eyes are bleeding. But if you want more NFL Hot Takes from Crazy People, check out these selections from recent weeks: