Welcome to a spooooky and weeeeeeird Hot Takes from Crazy People. This column is where I curate the funniest left-field comments from articles about the NFL.
A lot of people don’t realize this: The surefire way to get your favorite team’s head coach’s attention is to go on their Facebook page and utterly abuse a thesaurus:
This reminded me of our latest sign that the robot uprising is way further away than estimated:
Almost had a real sentence there, just fumbled it at the end like a Danny Dimes drive. The problem is that AI chatbots lack passion, as even the most questionably-literate Fox News commenter can still get their point across. Like this poster, from a FoxNews article about the NFL’s plans to limit Super Bowl attendance:
Although, passion can sometimes get in the way of clarity. A good example comes from a FoxNews article about Mike Nolan accidentally wiping hot sauce in his eye. This prompted one commenter to trip all over their words while rushing in to drop a zinger about someone I haven’t thought about in four years:
Finally, I would like to close with a comment I’m certain will make the nominee shortlist for “Hot Take of the Year.” Joe Buck and Troy Aikman said disparaging remarks about the jet flyover during an NFL game. CNN’s Facebook page has 3,400 comments on it. I sat down and went through over 1,000 of them before finding this diamond:
Honestly, if the U.N. Human Rights Commission was paying any attention, they would’ve declared this column a violation of my rights years ago. See ya’ next Friday!
If this has you hankerin’ for some daily fantasy sports, try out FanDuel! That link lets them know we sent you! It also gets you a 20% deposit match up to $500!
Then, follow Football Absurdity on Twitter!
After that, get free fantasy football advice by joining our Discord!
Finally, if you like what you read here, check out our podcast and our Patreon
[Photo Credit: https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1209299 under cc-2.0]
You must log in to post a comment.