Once upon a time, there was a king. He was not a bad sort of person, yet his people were starving and poor. The poor people are the metaphorical representation of this personality type, not the king. So don’t get excited.
The impoverished citizens needed something to breathe fresh life into their land, something agricultural but also profitable, and with good throwing mechanics and pocket presence. So the king set off into the land to search for such a thing.
It was not until late April that the king returned, a fair, strong-shouldered young man at his side. “Here is your hero,” declared the king, “He has great improvisational skills when it comes to agriculture and he won the Heisman trophy two years in a row, which (in this country) is a trophy given to the finest economist.”
“Nay,” screeched the people, for this personality type is best when they are at their screechiest, “the collegiate-gained theories of an economist seldom translate to the real world. Also, we have seen the videotape of him doing agriculture, and are unimpressed.” They chased the young man off into an orchard, where he soon became distracted by a rotting pile of apples.
The king set off again, and the next April came back with another strapping young man. “This guy seems kinda good,” announced the king, “and I don’t have to pay very much for him which is a bonus.” The young man set about tending the fields and poring over the royal bank books. Yet, come harvest time, the desperately needy people could not harvest one single vegetable. Nor had they won one single cent for the economy. So they all lined up and stared into the sun, hoping to melt their eyeballs so they would not have to watch the disgraceful farming and banking of whomever the king had next.
That sums this personality type up succinctly: Forever caught in a nightmare run of bad luck and poor choices that cause a raging inferno of pain within the soul, a pain which can only be extinguished by putting out the flames of life, itself. The only redeeming quality is that they tend to have short memories, which leads to a renewed bout of misinformed hope each and every April that is snuffed out by Opening Day (of harvest season, which happens to be in early September).
Not happy with your results? Take the quiz again. This time be either more or less honest.
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