These five absurd mistakes of week 13 serve as a reminder that it’s hard to come up with a synonym for “fails.”
Jalen Richard Muffs Everything
When a player takes off in the NFL, it’s fun to revisit the choices that led to their success. Jalen Richard chose to do his undergraduate studies at Southern Miss. After Sunday’s game, I’m inclined to believe that he did this solely because it makes it hard to search for “Jalen Richard Miss.”
Richard muffed not one, not eight, but THREE punts. As a Raider fan, you think you get used to the pain. You find that safe space inside your brain and just live there. Yet the silver-and-black keep coming up with new ways to make me cry tears of blood. Standing there, screaming at my TV, “JUST DON’T CATCH THE BALL THIS TIME. JUST LET IT DROP! NO! WHY?!?” is, uh, well… is something that happened, and now I must deal with the painful flashbacks.
Still, Richard dealt with his frustration in an adult manner, unlike with…
Rob Gronkowski’s Dumbassery
Sure, Gronk is hard to officiate, and he definitely gets his share of blown calls. That doesn’t excuse him for jumping into a player long after the play is over:
Gronk got suspended one game for this act. It has been appealed on the grounds that he has no history of dirty play. However, it could be argued that he has no history because Tom Brady so rarely throws an interception, so Gronk never gets a chance to satiate his bloodlust. Just sayin’.
It would be unfair for me to not mention Gronk’s apology, which was refreshingly contrite. No, “I’m sorry if you were offended,” no passing blame. Good apology, kids pay attention.
Houston Kicker Misses Net
It’s one thing to shank a field goal. It’s another to shank a field goal so hard, you even miss the net. But it is a totally different thing, which I have never seen before, to shank a field goal so hard, you miss the net from a measly 28 yards away. Such was the fate of Texans kicker Ka’imi Fairbairn, who commented later that it was all, “part of the job.”
The only thing that will help Fairbairn sleep at night is that Houston sucks and will never have a game that comes down to a field goal, anyway.
Denver Allows Two Safeties
Miami isn’t known for steamrolling over opponents, yet they took the Denver Broncos to task in a 35-9 win. The Dolphins managed a pair of safeties, setting a franchise record.
Still, Denver isn’t the most absurd mistake of the week, if only because the Broncos didn’t choose to do this to themselves, as opposed to…
Marcus Peters Ejects Himself
Kansas City has had a streak of bad luck, winning only one of their past 7 games. You’d think that, in a close game, they’d do everything in their power to win. Nope! Marcus Peters, one of their best defensive players, picked up a flag towards the end of a one-score game, threw it into the audience, and walked into the locker room. However, the referees did not eject Peters for his juvenile display. Which led Peters to reenter the field, presumably after getting undressed, wearing shoes without socks:
Hopefully, no one will do anything stupid in week 14, so I can take the day off.
For more fails like these mistakes of week 13, check out these links: