Our Analysis is No Joke… But the Jokes Are
Whenever I do my 32-team series, I love getting to the 49ers. First, they’re my favorite team, so usually, the articles end up done in a semi-auto pilot mode deep …
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The 49ers spent the few weeks leading up to the draft talking all about how they’re not saying they’re going to trade a wide receiver, they’re just saying, you know, …
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Disclaimer: we are not researchers, just compilers and writers. A majority of these numbers can be found in a myriad of places. For simplicity’s sake, and to prevent you from …
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It felt like the San Francisco 49ers mostly rested on their laurels this offseason, content with getting all the way to the NFC Championship Game with Mr. Irrelevant, Brock Purdy. …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the tight …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the wide …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We start off with the …
Read More Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
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So, full disclosure, and if you follow me on Twitter, you already know this: I am a San Francisco 49ers fan. And as a highly-plugged in Niners fan, I am …
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Ah, the NFL Draft. The annual tradition where teams make every incoming prospect strip down to their underwear and run around before picking them for dodgeball. Teams will jockey for …
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The 2021 San Francisco 49ers saw themselves start the year by spending three first round picks on Trey Lance and ending the year with a Jimmy Garoppolo desperation heave that …
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Our comedy experts and expert comedians reveal their picks for the 2022 Super Bowl. Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity Editor-in-Chief: The Niners will win the Super Bowl; it’s a foregone conclusion. …
Read More The ninth week of our fine NFL season dropped some real knowledge on us fans and even coaches. As we cross into the second half of the season, there’s no …
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The Heinicke effectRunning back J.D. McKissic’s role on the Washington Football Team took a drastic turn this week and I think a large part of that is Ron Rivera’s game-planning …
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Unheralded 49ers running back comes out of nowhere to kick the door down on the league, and fantasy football prognosticators tell you to drop 30%-40% of your budget on them. …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We’ve run through 20 quarterbacks, …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We’ve run through 20 quarterbacks …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We’ve run through 20 quarterbacks …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We finished our quarterbacks already; …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We finished our quarterbacks already; …
Read More Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
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The 2020 season didn’t go how the San Francisco 49ers had hoped it would. They ended up with almost every good player missing time at one point or another. They …
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The NFL Draft’s first two picks were so set in stone that the NFL begged the 49ers to not let their #3 pick leak early. Then, all hell broke loose …
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This article brought to you by Laverne’s (TM) Steakhouse: I once scored a dime of black tar in their bathroom. Only at Laverne’s (TM)! Rather than reach for Mac “Aroni” Jones, the 49ers …
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Now that free agency is over, it’s time to turn our attention to the NFL Draft as we figure out our 2021 fantasy football draft boards. Earlier this week, I …
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We spent the entire week feeding analytics into our Super Computer and uppers into our analysts. The result is the most advanced 2021 NFL mock draft you will find without …
Read More On Friday, the San Francisco 49ers turn the NFL world on its head. The runner-ups in the last pre-plague Super Bowl traded their #12 pick (along with two future seconds …
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My first instinct when I see Nelson Agholor’s contract is to make a joke about drops. When the truth of the matter is that Agholor only dropped ten balls over …
Read More The 2018 NFL season had a San Francisco 49ers pass-catcher come out and light the fantasy football world on fire. That was George Kittle. The 2019 NFL season had a …
Read More I’m a San Francisco 49ers fan, so this one will be a bit of a catharsis for me. No, Nick Mullens isn’t as good as Jimmy Garoppolo. Yes, we are …
Read More The NFL did it! We have finished the regular season amid a global pandemic. Week 17 literally is the end of the road for many of the teams but why …
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It’s the fantasy football finals, and we need to make some tough start or sit decisions to help guide our teams to victory. Let’s take a look at three running …
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If you’re reading this, welcome and congratulations to the fantasy football quarterfinals. It’s week fifteen, so ideally you don’t need to find a tight end sleeper. But, if you do, …
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If you’re reading this, welcome and congratulations to the fantasy football quarterfinals. It’s week fifteen, so ideally you don’t need to find a running back sleeper. But, if you do, …
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If you’re reading this, welcome and congratulations to the fantasy football quarterfinals. It’s week fifteen, so ideally you don’t need to find a wide receiver sleeper. But, if you do, …
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Congratulations. If you’re reading this, it means that you made it to the semi-finals in your fantasy football league. Or it means that you’re taking your consolation bracket extremely seriously. …
Read More It’s time for the 2020 fantasy football playoffs. Hopefully, you have all the guys you need on your roster already. If you don’t, we have a running back sleeper list …
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If we are being completely honest, I didn’t think that we would make it to this point… and we almost didn’t. COVID-19 ravaged the league last week, with dozens of …
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It’s the week of Thanksgiving and I am fussy about the Thursday Night game getting canceled because the Ravens just love getting coronavirus. They love it so much, they should …
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It’s understandable that you don’t trust Brandon Aiyuk. After all, the San Francisco 49ers are on their backup quarterback, 25th-string center (don’t fact check that) and Nick Mullens at center. …
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It’s week ten! We did it! We reached a point in the season where the NFL is just going to grit their teeth and push right through to the end …
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If you have watched a lot of Detroit Lions games, I’m sorry. Nobody should have to endure that kind of suffering. While subjecting yourself to that torment, I am sure …
Read More We’re halfway through the fantasy football season this week! Big congratulations to all of us! We’ve fought injuries, COVID-19, more injuries, SARS-CoV-2, even more injuries, the novel coronavirus, and of …
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We’re halfway through the fantasy football season this week! Big congratulations to all of us! We’ve fought injuries, COVID-19, more injuries, SARS-CoV-2, even more injuries, the novel coronavirus, and of …
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After this week, we will be halfway through the fantasy football season. It feels like just yesterday that we frantically drafted our fantasy teams after the NFL decided they would, …
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After this week, we will be halfway through the fantasy football season. It feels like just yesterday that we frantically drafted our fantasy teams after the NFL decided they would, …
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If you’re like fantasy football managers in 58% of Yahoo! leagues, you slotted Jerick McKinnon into your starting lineup this week. After all, the Niners put Raheem Mostert on IR, …
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It’s week seven, and every single fantasy football team is in shambles. Well, not every team, but a lot of them! It’s time to plug in the holes in your …
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Four weeks are in the books and everything is a disaster! The Titans are having secret practices, Cam Newton still has COVID-19, and Patrick Mahomes might get it any second …
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Oh, man! Injuries! Coronavirus! More injuries! And even more injuries! At least one of these things was unexpected, but in a more real sense, you could see all of these …
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Oh, man! Injuries! Coronavirus! Belichickanery! At least one of these things was unexpected, but in a more real sense, you could see all of these things coming from a mile …
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It’s week one of the 2020 NFL season, which hopefully means that you drafted a tight end that you liked to start this week. If you didn’t, don’t worry, we …
Read More It’s week one of the 2020 NFL season, which hopefully means that you drafted a quarterback that you liked to start this week. If you didn’t, don’t worry, we have …
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This week, we kick off our 2020 start or sit series by taking a look at three quarterbacks who have felt the subtle, soft, loving touch of Bill Belichick at …
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The San Francisco 49ers came one BS push off call on George Kittle away from winning Super Bowl LIV. Since then, they’ve added two wide receivers (if you count Jalen …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More The 2020 NFL Draft is in the books, and that means it’s time for us to fully turn our attention to the 2020 NFL season and fantasy football. While COVID-19 …
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The first round of the NFL draft is complete! All-in-all, eleven (!) fantasy football eligible players went in this round. Wildly enough, we had four quarterbacks, six wide receivers, one …
Read More Last week, Evan Hoovler picked up the ball from the GMs of some NFL teams and figured out how they can fix their squads through the NFL Draft. The Raiders …
Read More The NFL Draft, in theory, will start on Thursday, April 23. Unfortunately, due to COVID-19, the event some call the world’s biggest pomp-and-circumstance conference call, will test the limits of …
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Emmanuel Sanders went from one NFC Super Bowl contender (after playing in the Super Bowl) to another last week, as he signed with the New Orleans Saints. What does his …
Read More Speaking as an (obviously biased) San Francisco 49ers season ticket holder, 2019 went fantastically. How often do teams go from picking #2 overall to finishing as the #2 team in …
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Mike, (@RFLRedZone), Evan (Evan Hoovler on Facebook), and Jeff (@jeffkrisko) return from hiatus to discuss Super Bowl LIV, and to do some good old fashioned prop bets. Congratulations to Evan …
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It’s almost time for Super Bowl LIV, which means it’s time for another round of Fascinating Facts! I looked at last year’s Super Bowl facts article, and I realized we …
Read More Super Bowl LIV Matchup: Kansas City Chiefs (12-4) versus San Francisco 49ers (13-3) Sunday, February 2, 03:30 PM PST (FOX) Line: Kansas City -1.5, 54.5 O/U The San Francisco 49ers …
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We made our Super Bowl LIV picks back in December, and now it’s time to revise our opinions for the two teams that made it. Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity’s Editor-in-Chief, …
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The Super Bowl is nigh! Who could have predicted the Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers would square off in Miami come February? Firstly, me, baby, that’s who. I’ve …
Read More “Because it was working.” Those words rang out to the tens of thousands of San Francisco 49ers faithful who stayed to watch Kyle Shanahan lift the George Halas Trophy, the …
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NFC Divisional Round Matchup: Green Bay Packers (13-3) at San Francisco 49ers (13-3) Sunday, January 19, 03:40 PM PST (Fox) Line: San Francisco -7.5, 45.5 O/U Congratulations, if you went …
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Tennessee at Kansas City! Green Bay at San Francisco! What are verbs!? We asked our Football Absurdity staff to weigh in on both of the 2020 NFL Conference Championship games this …
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It’s time for the 2020 AFC and NFC Championship games, and we have all the favorites to be here (except Baltimore). In fact, Tennessee’s monster playoff run has been chock …
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We’re down to 8 teams vying for the Super Bowl. We asked our Football Absurdity staff to weigh in on each of this week’s four exciting NFL divisional round playoff matchups. …
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NFC Divisional Round Matchup: Minnesota Vikings (10-6) at San Francisco 49ers (13-3) Saturday, January 11, 01:35 PM PST (NBC) The San Francisco 49ers sat at home and gained health this …
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Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity Editor-in-Chief & 49ers Season Ticket Holder 49ers versus Ravens: They already gave us the game of the year. The road to the Super Bowl in the …
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Each week I will be discussing the funniest football happenings that take place in the NFL. All the hoopla of the players, crowds, and referees will be under my absurdity …
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Welcome to the fantasy football playoffs! Things are always changing, so the running back sleepers article will always be here to help you with your running back streaming decisions. We …
Read More It’s hard to say goodbye to a running back that’s been a perennial talent on your fantasy football roster. We know, it’s difficult to cut ties with someone like Tevin …
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“Now is the Winter of our discontent,” Shakespeare once quipped about the lack of running back sleepers in his fantasy football league. While I can’t write it more poetically than …
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It’s week eleven of the fantasy football season, and you’re opportunities to play daily fantasy football are quickly waning. It’s also starting to be the time of year where your …
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(Guest Author: A Guy Who Doesn’t Understand Metrics) It’s time to look at week 11 injuries from a standpoint of pure analytics. I’m casting emotion aside and showing you the …
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Wide receiver hasn’t had quite as many consistent “out of nowhere” guys as we’ve had in the past. Maybe that’s because we did a great job at identifying wide receiver …
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We’re changing up the start or sit challenge scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: This week, I’ll be spotlighting quarterbacks ranked around 12th and tell you if …
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The fantasy football running back churn continues, unabated. We lost Devonta Freeman and Matt Breida this past week to injury. This week, we will be without Aaron Jones, Jamaal Williams, …
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Should I Start or Sit Jared Cook, Greg Olsen, or O.J. Howard in Week 11 As you know, my wife and I are going head to head this year to …
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I’m going to level with you. There aren’t many great running back sleeper candidates this week, so I hit you all with a pivot in the sleepers series. First, an …
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Should I Start Jimmy Garoppolo , Kirk Cousins, or Dak Prescott in Week 10 This year, for start-or-sit advice, I’ve decided to share my wife’s fantasy football “insight” with the …
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It’s fantasy football week nine, which means we’re only seven weeks from fantasy championships, and over halfway through the real fantasy football season. “What about week seventeen championships?” you might …
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We’ve hit week seven, and the halfway point to most fantasy football leagues. We’ve also seemingly reached the ceremonial drop-dead point for a lot of teams in fantasy football leagues. …
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Well, it’s week six of the fantasy football season. You’re 0-5, and staring straight and the 5,000 points the Patriots D put up for your opponent this week. Time to …
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Check out our week five fantasy football running back sleepers below! As always, these guys are owned in fewer than 50% of Yahoo! leagues, with one RB available in over …
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I’m not going to sugarcoat it or lie to you, the week four sleeper wide receivers were extremely difficult to find this week. It was one guy sliding in at …
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It’s been a great year so far for fantasy football sleeper wide receivers. We’ve already seen a myriad of guys break out and graduate from this article. Never fear, however, …
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The hardest part of a young fantasy football season is sorting out who is Actually Good and who is Actually Bad. At this point, it’s too soon to tell, but …
Read More Ah, daily fantasy football. The last bastion of fantasy football junkies, who can’t do any significant roster tinkering on a Saturday, so they wander into their daily fantasy football client …
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“Changes aren’t permanent, but change is!” I think Geddy Lee wrote those lyrics after looking at his fantasy football running back group after a particularly bad week. Yes, I know …
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It’s fantasy football week one, which means the first of sixteen weeks of agonizing over every single lineup decision. We at Football Absurdity want to help you with some of …
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Be forewarned, you’re going to hear a lot about “explosive plays” in this article. Yes, I finally found a really good source for this stat, why do you ask? While …
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It’s fantasy football week one, which means the first of sixteen weeks of agonizing over every single lineup decision. We at Football Absurdity want to help you with the hardest …
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July and August are the best time of the year for fantasy football. We all start to formulate strategies, plant our flags, and decide who we will yell at on …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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In terms of San Francisco 49ers fantasy football, they were the kings of making chicken salad out of chicken… poo. And given the concessions at Levi’s Stadium, that chicken salad …
Read More There are a lot of, to use corporate jargon, areas of opportunity going into the San Francisco 49ers 2019 NFL Draft. The 49ers boast a solid QB, a passable offensive …
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Tevin Coleman signed a bafflingly awful two-year, $10 million contract with the San Francisco 49ers. It contains no guaranteed money outside of the first year. It is hysterically bad, and …
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Way Too Early 2019 RB Sleepers Welcome to the first ever Football Absurdity American Alliance of Football article! Nah, just kidding, but could you imagine? It’s all NFL, all the …
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Way Too Early 2019 WR Sleepers The Super Bowl is over, and Tom Brady won his sixth Super Bowl. God is dead, and the 2018 NFL season is officially over. …
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Way Too Early 2019 Fantasy Football QB Sleepers The Super Bowl is over, and Tom Brady won his sixth ring in nine tries. God is dead, and the 2018 NFL …
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Start or Sit Pettis, Robby Anderson, or Gordon Congrats on reaching your fantasy football finals. “Wait, Evan,” you may be thinking, “I’m actually in my fantasy semi-finals this week.” To …
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Start or Sit Matt Breida, Wendell Smallwood, or Peyton Barber? It’s the fantasy football finals, and you are completely unsure of your roster, despite it getting you all the way …
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Fantasy Football Week 14 RB Sleepers It’s the fantasy football playoffs, and I am going to level with you. You probably shouldn’t be looking at this article. If you’re at this point …
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Week 12 QB Sleepers – L’Amour Lamar Welcome, Jared Goff and Patrick Mahomes owners! Hello, fools who believed Ryan Fitzpatrick was the answer! Football Absurdity’s week 12 QB sleepers list …
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Fantasy Football Week 12: Start or Sit Baker Mayfield, Nick Mullens, or Eli Manning? Week twelve is upon us, which means that some of us are just two games away …
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Fantasy Football Week 10: Start or Sit Quincy Enunwa, Marquise Goodwin, or Taylor Gabriel? Nine weeks are in the books, and fantasy football leagues are starting to take shape heading …
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Fantasy Football Week 10: Start or Sit Matthew Stafford, Tom Brady, or Nick Mullens? Nine weeks are in the books, and fantasy football leagues are starting to take shape heading …
Read More Week 8 Fantasy Football RB Sleepers It’s finally week eight, which means that the fantasy football season is already half over. This isn’t true if you play in a league …
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Week 8 Fantasy Football QB Sleepers It’s finally week eight, which means that the fantasy football season is already half over. This isn’t true if you play in a league …
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Fantasy Football Week 8: Start or Sit Raheem Mostert, Marlon Mack, or Ronald Jones? It feels like the fantasy football season just started, but this is the last week where …
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Week 7 Start or Sit: Winston, Stafford, or Beathard? Every week at Football Absurdity, we like to help you with your start or sit decisions. However, we have found that …
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Start or Sit George Kittle? This is the part where I’m supposed to pretend to be shocked that tight ends have been an absolute mess for fantasy football so far …
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Start or Sit Jimmy Garoppolo? The 2018 fantasy football season is upon us. That means fantasy football owners get up on Sunday morning and proceed to rearrange their lineup six-or-seven …
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Before we get into our 2018 fantasy football sleeper, breakout, and bust, let’s do a quick primer: For the 2018 season we will explore fantasy football sleepers, breakouts (or bounce …
Read More If you want yourself a running back whisperer, then this Jerick McKinnon player profile is for you. As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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The San Francisco 49ers didn’t expend a whole heck of a lot of middling draft capital on fantasy football-relevant players. Sure, they bolstered their offensive like with OT Mike McGlinchey, …
Read MoreYou’ve collected all the data, and so can objectively state that your farts smell the best. This is due to your own excretory musk being the same scent as the …
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As the league marches towards the future, and the NFL draft, because that’s how time works, it’s time to start taking stock of the teams around the league. In order …
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The San Francisco 49ers are the talk of the NFL. They gave Jimmy Garoppolo eleventy bajillion dollars this year, and they signed the former face of the enemy with Richard …
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The San Francisco 49ers signed the enemy this week, inking former Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman to a three-year, $39 million contract (though he only sees the vast majority of …
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Las Vegas released its preliminary 2018 NFL Super Bowl odds on Monday, and there’s so much wrong with them, I don’t even know where to start. Well, first, there’s the …
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When you first saw him, you couldn’t help but be a little overwhelmed. Those eyes, that smile… so handsome. Jimmy Garoppolo has that it factor that allows you to let …
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The San Francisco 49ers are one of the biggest messes in the NFL. They’re a dumpster fire of insane proportions and there’s only one other NFC team that is as …
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The San Francisco 49ers broke the cardinal rule of smart NFL decision-making, which is, “do not trade with the New England Patriots.” They swapped the likely #33 or #34 pick …
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Week five has come and gone and you can only wonder at a universe that seems to be trying to destroy your fantasy football team. Why does everyone on your …
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Hi all, Vice President Mike Pence here. There was much to do today about me attending the Indianapolis Colts-San Francisco 49ers pre-game ceremony, then leaving before the game started. While …
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We are a quarter of the way through the 2017 NFL Season and nothing has gone as expected. Just the way we like it. The only thing predicable about the …
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This week my co-worker, Jeff Krisko, suggested that starting Pierre Garcon was the smart fantasy football play. Now I don’t what sort of game he’s playing at here, but I …
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The 49ers passing offense has not been a reliable source of fantasy football goodness for quite some time now. There was some hope that Chip Kelly would turn that around …
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If you read my article on playing the waiver wire game, you know that it is an essential part of winning your fantasy football league. If you haven’t read it, …
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Thursday Night Farceball usually comes immediately after the conclusion of Thursday Night Football, but I had to drive an hour down to my in-laws’ house after the game then make …
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Carlos Hyde seems to be one of the more polarizing running backs in fantasy football circles, as people seemingly can’t figure out if he should be any good at all. …
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I’m a 49ers fan, so it’s easy to tell me that I’m biased about their fantasy football prospects. Let me get this out of the way: they suck. They’re bad. …
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