This week my co-worker, Jeff Krisko, suggested that starting Pierre Garcon was the smart fantasy football play. Now I don’t what sort of game he’s playing at here, but I can tell you that I ain’t startin no football player named Pierre on my team. Maybe if we were playing soccer in France, Pierre Garcon would be a good start, but here in AMERICA, I start DeVante Parker.
When I put a wide receiver, I’m looking for a man who can score. And Frency hasn’t gotten into the endzone once this year. He’s probably too busy asking around for Grey Poupon. But DeVante Parker scores.
Pierre Garcon is getting targeted 8 times a game, but DeVante Parker gets targeted 9 times a game. Pierre Garcon catches 61% of the balls thrown his way, but DeVante Parker has a 67% catch rate. Why? Because America. That’s why. We do it bigger and we do it better.
And I’ll be honest, I don’t like this Hoyer guy whose slinging the football. He just seems like some hoighty toighty type who’d rather have Pierre Garcon make him some crème brule than score touchdowns.
I prefer a man who throws the football with reckless abandon. A man who isn’t afraid to go deep. Jay Cutler just sounds like a quarterback who will cut defenses down for being too European. And he gets to throw the ball to DeVante Parker against a defense that has given up the 4th most fantasy points to wide receivers.
So if you want to put some frog in your lineup, go ahead and start Pierre Garcon. But I should warn you, he’s from San Francisco. You know what that means. Myself, I only start DeVante Parker this week. You know why? Because this fantasy football line up don’t run.