Our Analysis is No Joke… But the Jokes Are
The New England Patriots are an enigma. Their quarterback, Drake Maye, is a young Justin Herbert. Right down to a pretty bad room of weapons around him to start his …
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The Patriots upgraded their appalling offensive weaponry by adding Stefon Diggs in free agency. While he’s most certainly no longer the player he was in Minnesota, Diggs still has some …
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Of all 32 teams in the NFL, of all the sets of weaponry, the Patriots are certainly one of them. Undoubtedly, they will field an offense this season. An offense …
Read More The Patriots started their draft with Drake Maye and then proceeded to get him three passing options in the remaining seven rounds, as well as a backup. Let’s take a …
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Disclaimer: we are not researchers, just compilers and writers. A majority of these numbers can be found in a myriad of places. For simplicity’s sake, and to prevent you from …
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It’s the Fourth of July, which means that it’s high time we turn our attention to fantasy football sleepers, breakouts, and busts for every NFL team. The ADP is per …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. Now that we’ve finished with …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the tight …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the wide …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We start off with the …
Read More Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
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The New England Patriots took a whole mess of fantasy football-eligible players in the 2022 NFL Draft, but they did it seemingly without any rhyme or reason. They drafted the …
Read More We all thought that the AFC East in 2022 was the end of the Patriots’ reign. And then, they made the playoffs. But Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills let …
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The New England Patriots bounced back faster than anyone had thought (or wanted). The Hoodie got the Pats back to the playoffs with a 10-7 record, a rookie quarterback, and …
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Our comedy experts and expert comedians reveal their picks for the 2022 Super Bowl. Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity Editor-in-Chief: The Niners will win the Super Bowl; it’s a foregone conclusion. …
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Week two is in the books, and after the first couple of go-rounds, the NFL, and fantasy football just feels… weird. It feels off. Half the starting QBs are new, …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We’ve run through 20 quarterbacks, …
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every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We’ve run through 20 quarterbacks, 40 running backs, and 50 wide receivers! Let’s turn our attention to the position some …
Read More Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
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2020 didn’t exactly go how the New England Patriots had hoped it would. They parted ways with long-time all-timer quarterback Tom Brady, who went on to with the Super Bowl. …
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The NFL Draft’s first two picks were so set in stone that the NFL begged the 49ers to not let their #3 pick leak early. Then, all hell broke loose …
Read More It’s impossible for the AFC East to leave our collective consciousness for like thirty seconds. The Buffalo Bills played in the AFC Championship Game, then Tom Brady played in his …
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Things went from worse to worserer for longtime Patriot slotman Julian Edelman. The three-time Super Bowl champ announced his retirement after getting released by the Patriots for failing his physical. …
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2021 Mock NFL Draft. Part 1 Will the QB streak continue? Here we go with picks 13-24 of the 2021 NFL Draft! 2021 Mock NFL Draft Part 2 13. Los …
Read More My first instinct when I see Nelson Agholor’s contract is to make a joke about drops. When the truth of the matter is that Agholor only dropped ten balls over …
Read More The New England Patriots continued their shopping spree, snagging both top tight ends on the market. They added Hunter Henry and his 60 catches for 650 yards career average for …
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There has been a flurry of Patriots signings within the past 48 hours, and that storm doesn’t seem to be waning. Early Tuesday morning, New England reached an agreement to …
Read More The first big fantasy football domino of the legal tampering period fell at about 10 AM Pacific on Monday. Jonnu Smith, formerly of the Tennessee Titans, agreed to a deal …
Read More The New England Patriots paid the piper in 2020. They had eight players opt out of the season, the most in the league. They also went from Tom Brady to …
Read More It’s week thirteen, which means that for most of us, it’s the end of the fantasy football regular season. Note that I am writing this on Tuesday before week twelve …
Read More In week eleven, Jakobi Meyers disappointed fantasy managers who grabbed him on the waiver wire with a paltry three receptions for 38 yards. Meyers’ lack of targets this past week …
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With a handful of players on bye weeks and another handful of people injured, navigating your wide receivers can be challenging. Week eleven has some interesting options for you to …
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We’ve hit the double-digit weeks, and only like half of the league is starting to add multiple players to the COVID-19 report every week. Things are fine! This isn’t bad …
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Four weeks are in the books and everything is a disaster! The Titans are having secret practices, Cam Newton still has COVID-19, and Patrick Mahomes might get it any second …
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While the wide receivers mostly survived the week two bloodletting in the NFL (knocks on wood), they didn’t escape entirely. Julio Jones aggravated his hamstring, Courtland Sutton and Parris Campbell …
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It’s week one of the 2020 NFL season, which hopefully means that you drafted a bunch of wide receivers to choose from this week. If you didn’t, don’t worry, we …
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This week, we kick off our 2020 start or sit series by taking a look at three quarterbacks who have felt the subtle, soft, loving touch of Bill Belichick at …
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The New Look New England Patriots will have someone other than Tom Brady under center for the first time in team history, While that’s not true, it certainly feels that …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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The 2020 NFL Draft is in the books, and that means it’s time for us to fully turn our attention to the 2020 NFL season and fantasy football. While COVID-19 …
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The AFC East is suddenly wide open. The Patriots will not have Tom Brady under center for the first time in what feels like 1,000 lifetimes. The Bills added Stefon …
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Well, the mad lad went and did it. Tom Brady sent the free agency world ablaze on Tuesday, announcing in the morning that he would no longer be on the …
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The NFL Combine is over, and NFL Free Agency doesn’t start for another couple of weeks. We sit, serenely, in this downtime of takes (Mike Florio, as always, excluded). Fortunately …
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As I write this, we potentially stand on the precipice of a new era in New England. The Las Vegas Raiders apparently want to give Tom Brady $60 million dollars over …
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AFC Wild Card Matchup: Tennessee Titans (9-7) at New England Patriots (12-4) Saturday, January 4, 5:15 PM PST (CBS) Is this the end for Tom Brady? Can Ryan Tannehill exact …
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Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity Editor-in-Chief & 49ers Season Ticket Holder 49ers versus Ravens: They already gave us the game of the year. The road to the Super Bowl in the …
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Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity Editor-in-Chief The Texans now have the coveted “let’s get this out of the way” game each season. They host a team …
Read More It seems to happen every year lately. The annual, inevitable demise of Tom Brady rears its ugly head. He has enough juice left in him to stop it out, but …
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This week for my start or sit article, I’ll be spotlighting running backs ranked around the middle of the pack. I will let you know my thoughts on them, and …
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We’re changing up the start or sit challenge scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: This week, I’ll be spotlighting quarterbacks ranked around the middle of the pack …
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We’re changing up the start or sit challenge scoring to better benefit your leagues! Check it out: This week, I’ll be spotlighting running backs ranked around 24th-30th and tell you …
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Should I Start or Sit David Johnson, Kalen Ballage, or James White in Week 11? As you know, my wife and I are going head to head this year to …
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We’ve hit week seven, and the halfway point to most fantasy football leagues. We’ve also seemingly reached the ceremonial drop-dead point for a lot of teams in fantasy football leagues. …
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I really should start writing this article before I do the DFS challenge in the Football Absurdity Podcast (wherever you can find podcasts!). I would do that if I was …
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Ah, daily fantasy football. The last bastion of fantasy football junkies, who can’t do any significant roster tinkering on a Saturday, so they wander into their daily fantasy football client …
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All of a sudden, it’s the year of the fantasy football rookie wide receiver. While one week does not make for a robust sample size, it is enough to start …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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ADP Collision: Stefon Diggs, Julian Edelman, Brandin Cooks, Robert Woods, Kenny Golladay It’s the fourth round and you’re on the clock in your PPR redraft league. Needing a wide receiver, …
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(Source: https://live.staticflickr.com/2888/13296155245_95f63e09a7_b.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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The 2019 NFL Draft is in the rearview mirror, and it’s time for the next part of the NFL calendar. That’s right… massive, rampant speculation! They will go through drills …
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The first round of the NFL draft is complete! All-in-all, eight fantasy football eligible players went in this round, and three of them were quarterbacks. Two of them were tight …
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2018’s Best Fantasy Football Player: James White, Running Back 2018’s Biggest Fantasy Football Disappointment: Rob Gronkowski, Tight End 2019 Fantasy Football Draft Wishlist: Wide Receiver, Tight End The earth has …
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Masshole Matt here with my ideal New England Patriots 2019 mock draft. The key is ingenuity: We Bostonians invented it. Whether it’s picking wide receivers out of our garbage-filled harbor …
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Super Bowl Predictions We were wondering: is there an article we can make that ensures all of us, save maybe one, look like fools? Then it hit us: Super Bowl …
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2019 NFL Divisional Round Predictions Last week’s wild card picks were a breeze! Everyone knew that the struggling Eagles would best the vaunted #1 Bears defense. That Indianapolis’ spotty D …
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Week 16 Start or Sit Jarvis Landry, Chris Hogan, or Antonio Callaway? It’s finals week! Time to bring home the big prize that you have been neglecting your work and …
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Start or Sit Pettis, Robby Anderson, or Gordon Congrats on reaching your fantasy football finals. “Wait, Evan,” you may be thinking, “I’m actually in my fantasy semi-finals this week.” To …
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Start or Sit Cam Newton, Jared Goff, or Tom Brady? It’s the fantasy football finals, and you are completely unsure of your roster, despite it getting you all the way …
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Fantasy Football Week 10: Start or Sit Matthew Stafford, Tom Brady, or Nick Mullens? Nine weeks are in the books, and fantasy football leagues are starting to take shape heading …
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Fantasy Football Week 9: Start or Sit Rob Gronkowski, Trey Burton, or Austin Hooper? It’s fantasy football week nine, and the difficulty level matches the week. This week is one …
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Week 8 Fantasy Football RB Sleepers It’s finally week eight, which means that the fantasy football season is already half over. This isn’t true if you play in a league …
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TNF Review: Colts at Patriots Tonight’s version of Thursday Night Farceball was a boring, standard-issue Patriots romp to victory over the Colts. Despite a declarative statement that the rivalry was …
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Start or sit Sony Michel? Through three weeks, fantasy football running backs are certainly going as we all expected. Your leading rusher is Matt Breida, and your rushing touchdowns leader …
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Start or Sit Rex Burkhead It’s week three of the NFL season, and as crazy as it seems, we will already be a major chunk of the way through the …
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This week, we take a look at a wide receiver coming off an injury in one of the league’s most potent offenses. This week, should we start or sit Chris …
Read More If you care more about fun than fumbling in your running back, then this fantasy football Sony Michel player profile is for you. As we gear up to the start …
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If your favorite number is 69 and you love massive positional advantages while hitting up a kegger with your bros, then this fantasy football Rob Gronkowski player profile is for …
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If you believe in miracles, then this fantasy football Chris Hogan player profile is for you. As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is …
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The New England Patriots are the NFL equivalent of The Doomsday Machine, sucking up everything in their path and leaving a wake of destruction and madness. Can you find fantasy …
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If you like your running backs with legs that don’t quit, then this fantasy football Saquon Barkley player profile is for you and Eli Manning. As we gear up to …
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Hopefully, this is the year that Tom Brady finally turns to trash and we get to point and laugh at him as he throws pick after pick after pick. But …
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If you like your quarterbacks afraid of strawberries, then this fantasy football Tom Brady player profile will leave you in terror. As we gear up to the start of the …
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Welcome back to the 30 Team Parlay. In the leadup to the NFL season, i’m going to be previewing every division to find the best betting options. If you think …
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The Patriots have dominated the AFC East for 150 million years, ever since Brady & Belichick emerged from the primordial ooze. However, for the first time since Brady’s torn ACL, …
Read MoreHappy and dauntless and sagacious are the Red Crimsons, dancing around in their castles while the land is overrun by pestilence and an insane quarterback market. Some citizens haven’t eaten …
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Well, well, well… The New England Patriots. Time to strip this roster of all of its components and burn it down to the ground. Wait… what’s that? All that matters …
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These facts about Super Bowl LII were all done by original research. So if you see somebody else saying stuff like “Tom Brady set the Super Bowl record for passing …
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Jacksonville Jaguars vs New England Patriots Waleed Ismail – I want so badly for the Jacksonville Jaguars to win this game. It is a yearning deep within my loins. The …
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This week, the Pittsburgh Steelers shocked the football world when they cut veteran linebacker James Harrison. Some of us more refined NFL fans understand that what has come to pass …
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In Greek mythology, Cerberus is the multi-headed canine guardian of the Underworld. Cerberus is the trusted hound of Hades, the Greek god of the dead and overseer of the afterlife. …
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We are about halfway through the fantasy football season and to the surprise of nobody, the number one rated quarterback in fantasy football is Tom Brady. How can you not …
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Mike Gillislee’s fantasy football owners have already had two very different seasons out of the Patriots running back. In the first couple weeks of the season, Gillislee had 33 carries …
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Week five’s Thursday Night Football was AS ADVERTISED! Two high powered offenses exchanged blows against two overmatched defenses. It was a nailbiter too, as Brian Hoy—wait a second. That was …
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We are a quarter of the way through the 2017 NFL Season and nothing has gone as expected. Just the way we like it. The only thing predicable about the …
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The last two weeks have been tough for fantasy football owners. We all had to sit around and question whether we actually knew what we were doing when we drafted …
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This week my co-worker, Jeff Krisko, suggested that starting Coby Fleener is the smart fantasy football play. I’m not going to lie, I love a lot of his points. Coby …
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This week my co-worker, Jeff Krisko, suggested that starting Chris Hogan is about to ascend to saintly numbers. While he makes some interesting points on why Chris Hogan is an …
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The Patriots seemingly can’t keep healthy weapons around. The defending champions have already lost Malcolm Mitchell and Julian Edelman to IR and Danny Amendola still hasn’t practiced due to his …
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The NFL kicked off its wonderful Thursday Night Football slate (with Sunday Night Football presentation) with the reigning champs, riding high on an off-season of 28-3 memes, ready to slaughter …
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Full disclosure, the Julian Edelman injury caused me to entirely rewrite this article, that’s how deep and confusing the labyrinthian scheming of Belichick dives. Losing one slot player means he …
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I should get my biases clear from the start: I am an Oakland fan. As such, I have a deep hatred of everything related to Massachusetts sports. I will never …
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