2018 Disaster Draft: The New England Patriots

Well, well, well… The New England Patriots. Time to strip this roster of all of its components and burn it down to the ground. Wait… what’s that? All that matters is Tom Brady? And he’ll never die? And Bill Belichick might put his best fifteen players (less Tom Brady) on this list just to rebuild the roster from AFC East cast-offs like he has for the last two decades? And God is dead? And Tom Brady would have drunk his blood but it wasn’t on his wacko diet? Fine, here’s the Patriots disaster draft.

Lost to Free Agency: Nate Solder, Malcolm Butler (define “lost”), Rex Burkhead, Danny Amedola, Dion Lewis, the pact with the Devil?

The No Doubters:

Player POS. 2018 2019 2020 2021 2022
Tom Brady QB $22,000,000 $22,000,000 UFA

Literally, only one player is 100% vital to the Patriots, and that is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the beginning and the end. The last remaining Football God is the only player the Patriots absolutely need, and given the Patriots’ penchant for changing everything about their game on the fly, he is the only one who is an absolute no-doubter, as long as he wants to play. In five years, he’ll either rule us all… or we’ll be dead by his hand.


The More-Than-Likely Staying:

Player POS. 2018 2019 2020 2021 2022
Stephon Gilmore CB $12,506,250 $13,600,000 $14,600,000 $15,600,000 UFA
Joe Thuney G $858,357 $943,357 UFA
Shaq Mason G $2,015,882 UFA
Brandin Cooks WR $8,459,000 UFA
Julian Edelman WR $4,166,666 $4,666,668 UFA
Chris Hogan WR $3,281,250 UFA
James White RB $2,437,500 $4,000,000 $4,500,000 UFA
Rob Gronkowski TE $10,906,250 $12,000,000 UFA
David Andrews C $1,650,000 $2,800,000 $3,800,000 UFA
Marcus Cannon RT $5,768,750 $7,550,000 $7,750,000 $6,260,000 UFA
Devin McCourty FS $11,935,000 $13,435,000 UFA
Duron Harmon SS $3,500,000 $4,500,000 $5,500,000 UFA
Malcom Brown DT $2,422,392 UFA
Dont’a Hightower OLB $8,523,435 $10,375,000 $11,375,000 UFA
Trey Flowers DE $2,044,733 UFA

They literally just played in the Super Bowl, so it’s not surprising that this list is pretty dang dense with talent. Stephon Gilmore is their best defender by far, and the rest is keeping Tom Brady’s offense around him as intact as possible. His LT (Solder) is a free agent, but the rest of the line returns, as does his three top wide receivers, a potential Hall of Fame tight end and the only remaining running back on the roster. Devin McCourty and Duron Harmon started the season disastrously but ended up playing well by the end of the year. That holds true with Brown and Flowers, as well. Hightower missed all of 2017, and should be back to anchor the middle of the defense.


The Leftovers:

The Patriots Way will not mean anything anymore to these players who escape the icy grip of Bill Belichick.

Player POS. 2018 2019 2020 2021 2022
Martellus Bennett TE $6,187,500 $6,500,000 UFA
Stephen Gostkowski K $5,000,000 UFA
Dwayne Allen TE $5,000,000 $7,400,000 UFA
Alan Branch DT $4,550,000 UFA
Patrick Chung SS $3,800,000 UFA
Kyle Van Noy ILB $3,572,916 $6,416,668 UFA
Shea McClellin OLB $3,183,334 UFA
Lawrence Guy DE $3,100,000 $3,600,000 $4,100,000 UFA
David Harris ILB $2,750,000 UFA
Mike Gillislee RB $2,181,250 UFA
Ryan Allen P $2,000,000 UFA
Phillip Dorsett WR $1,544,373 UFA
Kenny Britt WR $1,468,750 UFA
Jordan Richards SS $1,180,948 UFA
Eric Rowe CB $1,100,435 UFA
Cyrus Jones CB $1,092,737 $1,274,860 UFA
Brian Hoyer QB $915,000 $3,050,000 UFA
Vincent Valentine DT $806,355 $896,355 UFA
Derek Rivers OLB $783,724 $880,724 $974,724 UFA
Antonio Garcia T $778,538 $871,538 $964,538 UFA
Malcolm Mitchell WR $774,498 a UFA
Joe Cardona LS $730,000 UFA
Geno Grissom DE $720,000 UFA
James Ferentz C $705,000 RFA
Will Tye TE $705,000 RFA
Deatrich Wise DE $698,970 $788,970 $878,973 UFA
Elandon Roberts ILB $655,089 $745,089 UFA
Nicholas Grigsby ILB $645,000 RFA
Jonathan Jones CB $633,334 RFA
Trevor Reilly OLB $630,000 RFA
Eric Lee DE $570,000 ERFA
Harvey Langi ILB $560,000 $650,000 RFA
Jacob Hollister TE $558,333 $648,334 RFA
Cole Croston T $557,000 $647,000 RFA
Adam Butler DT $556,666 $646,668 RFA
David Jones CB $555,000 ERFA
Ryan Lewis CB $555,000 ERFA
Damarius Travis CB $555,000 ERFA
Jomal Wiltz CB $555,000 ERFA
Jason King T $555,000 ERFA
Cody Hollister WR $555,000 ERFA
Riley McCarron WR $555,000 ERFA
Keionta Davis DE $480,000 $570,000 RFA
Andrew Jelks T $480,000 $570,000 RFA


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