Our Analysis is No Joke… But the Jokes Are
The Atlanta Falcons certainly did it the hard way last offseason, spending $100 million on Kirk Cousins before taking Michael Penix with a top-ten pick in the draft. In the …
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You’re laughing? The Falcons gave a guy in his mid-30s with one Achilles $100 million and then spent the #8 overall pick on his successor, and you’re laughing? In the …
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The Atlanta Falcons hit a hard reset on all the bad parts of their offense. They swapped out Desmond Ridder & Marcus Mariota for Kirk Cousins under center, and they …
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The Atlanta Falcons made the single funniest pick in the history of the NFL Draft: the eighth overall pick on a backup quarterback. There’s been a lot of ink spilled …
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Disclaimer: we are not researchers, just compilers and writers. A majority of these numbers can be found in a myriad of places. For simplicity’s sake, and to prevent you from …
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We are starting Football Absurdity’s 2023 fantasy football rookie round-up with the Atlanta Falcons because there is nobody we want to talk about more than Bijan Robinson. Bijan is one …
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The Atlanta Falcons were a complete dumpster fire for fantasy football value in 2022, mostly because we put all of our eggs in the Kyle Pitts basket. Arthur Smith famously …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. Our main push of five …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with tight ends. …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the wide …
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Football Dad (Waleed): When I first started Football Absurdity, I didn’t realize that I would soon be the proud Egyptian father of a 35-year-old Jewish boy. But just under two …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running backs. Today, …
Read More Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
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The Atlanta Falcons are a team in transition. After Calvin Ridley ate a year-long suspension for gambling, Atlanta struck out on Deshaun Watson, Matt Ryan forced his way out of …
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The first round of the 2022 NFL Draft has come and gone, and what an insane first round it was! Deebo Samuel, the guy we all knew was getting traded, …
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Ah, the NFL Draft. The annual tradition where teams make every incoming prospect strip down to their underwear and run around before picking them for dodgeball. Teams will jockey for …
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If underwhelming expectations had a mascot, it would be the 2021 Atlanta Falcons. They had a new head coach, a stud rookie tight end, and Calvin Ridley. And in the …
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A unicorn. He’s just “built different.” He’s a wide receiver in a tight end body. You’re just being a hater. You can’t ever draft him cheaper than you can this …
Read More For the second time this season, Calvin Ridley was a surprise scratch dealing with “personal issues,” on Sunday. This time, however, he announced that he would be stepping away from …
Read More Welcome back, NFL! The start of the season is filled with more unbridled hope and unwarranted faith than a blind date. Last season we witnessed Tom Brady pull the baton …
Read More Every offseason, the fantasy football cognoscenti find certain flexion points for incessant arguments, all offseason long. This offseason, it was Joe Mixon (as always), but also Kyle Pitts. The rookie …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We’ve run through 20 quarterbacks, …
Read More It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We’ve run through 20 quarterbacks …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We start off with the …
Read More Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
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The moon landing… The Nixon-Kennedy debate… that thing when Geraldo went into a mental hospital and found dozens of naked, fecal-caked inmates. Monumental moments in broadcasting. This pantheon of greatness …
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If you’re like me, you currently have mock fantasy football auctions open in three different windows. Yeah, you’re not like me. And that’s great! Let me do all the hard …
Read More The Atlanta Falcons ended 2020 at the bottom of the NFC South last season, posting a 4-12 record. This led them to have the #4 overall pick in the 2021 …
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The NFL Draft’s first two picks were so set in stone that the NFL begged the 49ers to not let their #3 pick leak early. Then, all hell broke loose …
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The NFC South hosts four teams that definitely exist. The reigning NFL Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers call the division home, as do the New Orleans Saints. The Panthers and Falcons …
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We spent the entire week feeding analytics into our Super Computer and uppers into our analysts. The result is the most advanced 2021 NFL mock draft you will find without …
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The NFL regular season is over and heads are already rolling. When NFL teams miss the playoffs, NFL teams fire head coaches. Black Monday 2021 marks the end of many …
Read More The Atlanta Falcons, as a franchise, are going to hit a massive reset in 2021. They cleaned house, firing General Manager Thomas Dimitroff and Head Coach Dan Quinn. Unfortunately, they …
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We made it, folks! It’s the fantasy football finals, and it’s time for our final edition of wide receiver sleepers. What a crazy year it was, with the Titans being …
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It’s the fantasy football finals! We made it! Now we need to make some tough start or sit decisions to help guide our teams to victory. Let’s take a look …
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I’m proud of us. I’m proud of you, and I’m proud of myself. The NFL? Not so much. Their coronavirus handling kept the league (mostly) on schedule, but they allowed …
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It’s the week of Thanksgiving and I am fussy about the Thursday Night game getting canceled because the Ravens just love getting coronavirus. They love it so much, they should …
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We’ve hit the double-digit weeks, and only like half of the league is starting to add multiple players to the COVID-19 report every week. Things are fine! This isn’t bad …
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Oh, man! Injuries! Coronavirus! Belichickanery! At least one of these things was unexpected, but in a more real sense, you could see all of these things coming from a mile …
Read More The third week of the NFL season was just what the doctor ordered. It was an exciting week of action, with many close games going down to the wire. There …
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Ah, streaming tight ends. This is where the rubber meets the road and the fun really begins. This week, we have three players who might all be on your roster …
Read More The Atlanta Falcons are all set up to have a big 2020 season. They’ve reloaded, jettisoning Devonta Freeman and Austin Hooper for Todd Gurley and Hayden Hurst. Their 2019 offensive …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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In three weeks, we will be in the middle of the NFL Draft. This week we’ve taken a trip around the NFC, outlining what positions would be best suited for …
Read More In July of 2018, with Todd Gurley’s fifth-year option still on the table, the Los Angeles Rams handed him a four-year, $60 million contract extension ($45 million guaranteed). Again, this …
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The Cleveland Browns signed former Atlanta Falcons’ tight end Austin Hooper away on the first day of legal tampering. In order to fill that hole in the offense, the Falcons …
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The Atlanta Falcons tricked me. I’ll admit it. I thought that they fixed their offensive line woes and were on the way to having a return to form after a …
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Well, well, well. Your fantasy football season didn’t exactly go like you thought. What I’m saying is that you missed your league’s playoffs, and now you’re itching for some more …
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Welcome to the fantasy football playoffs! Things are always changing, so the wide receiver sleepers article will always be here to help you with your wide receiver streaming decisions. We …
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Happy Thanksgiving! Nothing like a three-game, triple-header, trifecta of football games on Turkey Day. This holiday season we are treated to the annual Lions and Cowboys games. These teams will …
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I’m starting to think that I’m screaming into the void, as two of these guys were on this list last week (Washington & Gage), and they both had big games. …
Read More Ah, Thanksgiving. That time where friends and family all get together and act like the whole situation isn’t a delicately balanced powder keg sitting three stories above a tire fire. …
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Should I Start or Sit Kareem Hunt, Bo Scarbrough, or Brian Hill in Week 12? As you know, my wife and I are going head to head this year to …
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It’s week twelve of the fantasy football season, and your opportunities to play daily fantasy football are quickly waning. It’s also starting to be the time of year where your …
Read More When the games conclude this week, we will officially be 75% of the way done with the fantasy football season, and the bye weeks. Things should get better, and easier …
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It’s week eleven of the fantasy football season, and you’re opportunities to play daily fantasy football are quickly waning. It’s also starting to be the time of year where your …
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The fantasy football running back churn continues, unabated. We lost Devonta Freeman and Matt Breida this past week to injury. This week, we will be without Aaron Jones, Jamaal Williams, …
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I know that bye weeks have started to roll around because the running back free agency pool turns to ash. All the good players have gotten hurt, and the ones …
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Week four is in the books and we are beginning to see who came to play in 2019. This weekend’s slate of games had some great highlights but nothing caught …
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Week one is here, and that means agonizing over every single fantasy football position. We hope to help you make at least one of those decisions a little easier. Below, …
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July and August are the best time of the year for fantasy football. We all start to formulate strategies, plant our flags, and decide who we will yell at on …
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(Source: https://live.staticflickr.com/3045/2935699367_db5944f891_z.jpg under https:https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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(Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Julio_Jones,_Cleveland_Browns_vs._Atlanta_Falcons_preseason_2016.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that …
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(Source: Thomson20192 from https://www.flickr.com/photos/93558439@N05/14839373505 under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player …
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2018’s Best Atlanta Falcons Fantasy Football Player: Julio Jones, Wide Receiver 2018’s Biggest Atlanta Falcons Fantasy Football Disappointment: Tevin Coleman, Running Back 2019 Atlanta Falcons Fantasy Football Draft Wishlist: Left …
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Tevin Coleman signed a bafflingly awful two-year, $10 million contract with the San Francisco 49ers. It contains no guaranteed money outside of the first year. It is hysterically bad, and …
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Way Too Early 2019 WR Busts The Super Bowl is over, and Tom Brady won his sixth Super Bowl. God is dead, and the 2018 NFL season is officially over. …
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Way Too Early 2019 Fantasy Football QB Busts The Super Bowl is over, and Tom Brady won his sixth ring in nine tries. God is dead, and the 2018 NFL …
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Way Too Early 2019 TE Sleepers It’s almost March, which means it’s almost time for NFL draft season. Before we start oohing and aahing over young men in their underwear, …
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Way Too Early 2019 RB Sleepers Welcome to the first ever Football Absurdity American Alliance of Football article! Nah, just kidding, but could you imagine? It’s all NFL, all the …
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Fantasy Football Week 15: Start or Sit Calvin Ridley, Kenny Golladay, or Kenny Stills? It’s the fantasy football semifinals, which means it’s literally win or go home for you and …
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Week 15 RB Sleepers To be honest with you, this isn’t an article you should want to be reading during the fantasy football semifinals. If you’re looking for RB sleepers …
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Fantasy Football Week 13: Start or Sit Isaiah Crowell, Tevin Coleman, or Peyton Barber? It’s week 13, which means for many of us it is a de facto week one …
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Fantasy Football Week 12: Start or Sit Mohamed Sanu, Keke Coutee, or Sterling Shepard? Week twelve is upon us, which means that some of us are just two games away …
Read More Fantasy Football Week 11: Start or Sit Tevin Coleman, Chris Carson, or Dalvin Cook? Week eleven is upon us, which means that some of us are just two games away …
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Fantasy Football Week 10: Start or Sit Austin Ekeler, Duke Johnson, or Ito Smith? Nine weeks are in the books, and fantasy football leagues are starting to take shape heading …
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Fantasy Football Week 9: Start or Sit Alex Collins, Tevin Coleman, or Peyton Barber? It’s fantasy football week nine, and the difficulty level matches the week. This week is one …
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Fantasy Football Week 9: Start or Sit Rob Gronkowski, Trey Burton, or Austin Hooper? It’s fantasy football week nine, and the difficulty level matches the week. This week is one …
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Fantasy Football Week 7: Start or Sit Greg Olsen, Austin Hooper, or Jordan Reed? Every week at Football Absurdity, we like to help you with your start or sit decisions. …
Read More Start or Sit Austin Hooper in Fantasy Football Week Six? Five weeks of the NFL season are in the books. This means that in most leagues, we have only eight …
Read More Start or Sit Mohamed Sanu in Fantasy Football Week Six? Five weeks of the NFL season are in the books. This means that in most leagues, we have only eight …
Read More Week 6 WR Sleepers Trying to find fantasy football week 6 WR sleepers is probably my favorite article that I write every week. The league is so rife with opportunity, …
Read More Start or Sit Matt Ryan? In this article we answer the question: should you start or sit Matt Ryan in week two as the Falcons host the Carolina Panthers? The …
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Funny Tweets about Thursday Night Football The 2018 NFL season is finally back, and we have funny tweets about Thursday Night Football! The World Champion Philadelphia Eagles topped the Atlanta …
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Start or Sit Tevin Coleman This week, we take a look at a running back who technically isn’t even the starter. This week, should we start or sit Tevin Coleman …
Read More If you want your wide receivers paid, then this fantasy football Julio Jones player profile is for you. As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football …
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For the 2018 season, we will explore a 2018 fantasy football sleeper, breakout (or bounce back), and bust from every NFL team. First, a sleeper can leap into top-tier production …
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After spending all 2017 weathering 28-3 jokes, the Atlanta Falcons selected 3 players at standard fantasy football positions in the 2018 NFL draft. Are any of them worth having on your radar …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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Welcome to the Thirty Team Parlay, a weekly column on Football Absurdity that focuses on the week in football gambling. We’ll bring you the best bets, biggest longshots, and try …
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If you are wondering whether your running back will ever be great again, then this fantasy football Devonta Freeman player profile is for you. As we gear up to the …
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If you want your quarterbacks to look like they are about to tell a dad joke, then this fantasy football Matt Ryan player profile should make you chuckle reluctantly. As …
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The NFC South, as a whole, did nothing. Absolutely nothing of value. They were so boring that the biggest moves were signing a kicker, trading for a guy without hands, …
Read MoreYour entire life has been shaped by a childhood plagued by letdowns from your father, or other male parent. As such, your adult life has been great, as long as …
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We’ve got 2018 NFL wild card predictions for every single game from every FootballAbsurdity personality: 2018 NFL Wild Card Predictions Kansas City vs Tennessee Waleed Ismail — The Tennessee Titans …
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Keeping sixteen players on the Atlanta Falcons roster in the face of a drastic disaster draft was much, much easier than the Arizona Cardinals. It makes sense, as the Falcons …
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This week’s Thursday Night Football game was pretty good from a football point of view, but terrible for a Thursday Night Farceball perspective. The Saints and Falcons had an NFC South …
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If only someone would have warned us about Matt Ryan regressing this year. If only some prophet could have come down from the heavens and imparted the knowledge to us …
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Austin Hooper started his 2017 season with a bang. He was literally uncovered on a play and rumbled for over 80 yards and a score. Granted, he delivered a vicious …
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NFL Week 7 Surprises A lot of people say I need an attitude change. A lot of people can suck it. Here are my NFL week 7 surprises.
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It wasn’t all that long ago that the fantasy football Twitter battlefield lines were drawn. On one side were super-geniuses, like me, who thought that Devonta Freeman, not Tevin Coleman, …
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We are a quarter of the way through the 2017 NFL Season and nothing has gone as expected. Just the way we like it. The only thing predicable about the …
Read More Week four has come and gone. And with its departure comes the dawning realization that you don’t know what you are doing. Why did you think drafting a tight end …
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We are three weeks into the football season and you still don’t know which wide receiver to put in your lineup. Stefon Diggs helped many teams keep a record number …
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Austin Hooper was spectacular in week one, going for 128 yards and a touchdown! Incredible, what an out of nowhere performance. Wait, sorry. Let me try that again. Austin Hooper …
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The Atlanta Falcons face 2017 bearing the weight of two major losses: OC Kyle Shanahan (to San Francisco) and a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl (to New England). Now …
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