Thursday Night Farceball: Atlanta Falcons at Philadelphia Eagles

Funny Tweets about Thursday Night Football

The 2018 NFL season is finally back, and we have funny tweets about Thursday Night Football! The World Champion Philadelphia Eagles topped the Atlanta Falcons in the traditional Thursday Night Football Sunday Night Football on Thursday Night (which is totally a thing) game to start the NFL Season. They did that… eventually, after a rain delay knocked the kickoff back about 45 minutes. The game, like most Thursday Night Football games, was full of absolute farce. This is what happens when you start BDN Foles eight months after his expiration date. Here at Football Absurdity, we watch the Thursday Night Football games and distill them down to their purest essence so that you can spend time with your family instead of spending Thursday night like you’ll spend the next seventeen Sundays and Mondays: furiously refreshing your fantasy team and lamenting that you bet the college fund on the over.

This game was absolutely the worst thing I’d laid my eyes on that I could not stop watching because I had waited eight months for it (narrowly edging out Solo: A Star Wars Story) right up until the Philly Special 2.0, then it turned around and actually had an interesting ending! Oh, and a bunch of babies whined about The Green Zone, which is honestly fine. Calm down.

 

YOU ANIMALS WAITED, WAIT A BIT MORE
The rains did not cooperate with the start of the NFL season, causing the 5:20 PM kickoff to start 45 minutes later. The Philly Phans took this in the way they know how to do best (shirtless and drunk).

 

VINDICAT—OK, UH VINDIC—GEEZ UH. VINDI—… OH, THE SAME OLD NONSENSE.
After their season ended on the doorsteps of the end zone against the Eagles, so did the first drive of the Falcons’ season. They went for it on fourth down and didn’t even put Julio Jones on the field. Who needs him, right? Oh, Atlanta. They do.

 

BDN FOLES? MORE LIKE M.I.A. FOLES
The Super Bowl Champs didn’t get their title defense off to a good start. They ended the first quarter with 13 total yards on three passes and three carries. Nick Foles was sacked when he let a snap bounce off his hands. Accounting for penalties, they had zero net yards. As Yahoo! Sports put it:

or as NFL Research more eloquently put it

 

CRIS COLLINSRPORTH, THE ABSOLUTE BOY
Every game, it seems like Cris Collinsworth has some weird thing he over-focuses on. Tonight, it was Run Pass Options (RPOs). He called any read at the line of scrimmage an RPO. It was maddening.

BUT DID ANYONE KNEEL
There were too many flags. Too many flags. By my count, 100,000 flags were thrown in the first half.

 

PHILLY SPECIAL TWO POINT OH
No snark, no pithy comment. Just awe.

 

Join us next week as we take a look at what will certainly be a high-quality game with zero nonsense or tomfoolery. The Bengals take on the Ravens in the first, true Thursday Night Football. Let’s hope for some farce!

 

Oh, one last tweet to perfectly sum up watching this game:

For more funny tweets about Thursday Night Football, check out these links:

Funny Tweets about Thursday Night Football: Denver Broncos at Indianapolis Colts

Funny Tweets about Thursday Night Football: New Orleans Saints at Atlanta Falcons

Funny Tweets about Thursday Night Football: Washington at Dallas Cowboys

About Jeff Krisko

You can follow me on twitter, @jmkrisko for the same lukewarm takes you read here.

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