Our Analysis is No Joke… But the Jokes Are
The Seahawks had themselves a big offseason: they traded Geno Smith to the Raiders, traded D.K. Metcalf to the Steelers, and went out and snagged Sam Darnold and Cooper Kupp …
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With 11 picks in the 2025 NFL Draft, the Seahawks took a lot of players. Unsurprisingly, they took the most at fantasy football-relevant positions (six players… but one’s a fullback, so …
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The Seahawks uprooted their core, moving on from long-team head coach Pete Carroll and installing Mike MacDonald as their head coach. They also lost the heart and soul of the …
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Disclaimer: we are not researchers, just compilers and writers. A majority of these numbers can be found in a myriad of places. For simplicity’s sake, and to prevent you from …
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Remember last year when we as a football community scoffed at the hubris of Pete Carroll and John Schneider for trading away a franchise quarterback? Carroll committed the cardinal sin …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the tight …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the wide …
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Football Dad (Waleed): When I first started Football Absurdity, I didn’t realize that I would soon be the proud Egyptian father of a 35-year-old Jewish boy. But just under two …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the wide …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We continue with the running …
Read More The Seahawks, and I’ll be generous with this assessment here, took a step back in the 2022 free agency period. They traded longtime superstar quarterback Russell Wilson to the Denver …
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Ah, the NFL Draft. The annual tradition where teams make every incoming prospect strip down to their underwear and run around before picking them for dodgeball. Teams will jockey for …
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Russell Wilson did the unthinkable and missed games this season. The Seattle Seahawks had an okay season going before Wilson suffered a “mallet finger” which the broadcast kept showing, despite …
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Rashaad Penny likely vaulted his plug-and-play streamers to the fantasy football finals this week, posting 135 yards and a touchdown on seventeen carries. This marks his second game with over …
Read More The close of week five in the NFL was affirming for many clubs. Boy, are there some stinkers, some fakes, and a few legit teams out there. The tragedy is …
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After taking over in the third quarter of yesterday’s Thursday Night Football, Geno Smith put on an amazing 98-yard drive. I’m calling it now: He will win the 2021 NFL …
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To make a long story extremely short, the tight end middle class is dead. Should you want a longer explanation of what that entails, following the previous link is an …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in fantasy …
Read More Every summer, we take a deep dive into the fantasy football average draft position (ADP) of players on each real-life NFL team. We do this so that we can determine …
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It’s that time of year once again! Football Absurdity will bring you a breakdown of every notable fantasy football-relevant player throughout June, July, and August. We start off with the …
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The Seattle Seahawks had two distinct portions to their 2020 campaign. The Let Russ Cook Era until week nine, with the Letting the Dishes Soak From Russ Cooking Era finished …
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Now that free agency is over, it’s time to turn our attention to the NFL Draft as we figure out our 2021 fantasy football draft boards. Earlier this week, I …
Read More The Seattle Seahawks ended up winning the NFC West, yet again. They won at double-digit games, yet again. They got bounced before the conference championship, yet again. The Seattle Seahawks …
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2021 Wild Card Predictions We weren’t planning to do write-ups for our 2021 Wild Card predictions, but some of our writers did, anyway. That’s the kind of over-the-top devotion …
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Super Bowl 2021 Predictions Super Bowl 2021 Predictions Write-ups Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity Editor-in-Chief Bills over Packers: It was going to be Packers over Chiefs, but then this happened: Think …
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NFC Wild Card Matchup: #6 Rams (10-6) at #3 Seahawks (12-4) Saturday, January 9, 1:40 PM PST (Fox) The Rams and Seahawks are set to square off for the third …
Read More Luckily, the NFL wrapped up its week thirteen, and we again saw some major hits to playoff hopes. The second half of the season is showing a transition where some …
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It’s the week of Thanksgiving and I am fussy about the Thursday Night game getting canceled because the Ravens just love getting coronavirus. They love it so much, they should …
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If you read my article on playing the waiver wire game, you know that the waiver wire is an essential part of winning your fantasy football league. If you haven’t …
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We’re halfway through the fantasy football season this week! Big congratulations to all of us! We’ve fought injuries, COVID-19, more injuries, SARS-CoV-2, even more injuries, the novel coronavirus, and of …
Read More The Seattle Seahawks hope to have a revamped offense in 2020. At least, that’s what Russell Wilson hopes. For too long, he’s had the governors on, as Pete Carroll and …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
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As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will be available in …
Read More The 2020 NFL Draft is in the books, and that means it’s time for us to fully turn our attention to the 2020 NFL season and fantasy football. While COVID-19 …
Read More The 2020 NFL Draft is tonight! Hooray! I’m so excited to get together with the rest of the Football Absurdity writing team and workshop all the jokes we will be …
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The NFL Draft, in theory, will start on Thursday, April 23. Unfortunately, due to COVID-19, the event some call the world’s biggest pomp-and-circumstance conference call, will test the limits of …
Read More The Seattle Seahawks were hamstrung by a truly terrible offensive philosophy in 2019. Brian Schottenheimer preached The Rule of 53, which states that 53 combined rush attempts and receptions mean …
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Welcome to Hot Takes from Crazy People, where I brave the dangerous and mind-altering comments sections from NFL articles to bring you comedy gold. First, a word from our sponsor: …
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We’re down to 8 teams vying for the Super Bowl. We asked our Football Absurdity staff to weigh in on each of this week’s four exciting NFL divisional round playoff matchups. …
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NFC Divisional Round Matchup: Seattle Seahawks (11-5) at Green Bay Packers (13-3) Sunday, January 12, 03:40 PM PST (Fox) The Seahawks beat up (almost literally) on a completely depleted Philadelphia …
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NFC Wild Card Matchup: Seattle Seahawks (13-3) at Philadelphia Eagles (9-7) Sunday, January 5, 01:40 PM PST (NBC) The Seattle Seahawks came literally within inches of staying home for this …
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Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans Jeff Krisko, Football Absurdity Editor-in-Chief The Texans now have the coveted “let’s get this out of the way” game each season. They host a team …
Read More There’s only one full week left in the 2019 NFL season and it has been a memorable one, to say the least. December sorted out the remaining pretenders from contenders …
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Each week I will be discussing the funniest football happenings that take place in the NFL. All the hoopla of the players, crowds, and referees will be under my absurdity …
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Should I Start or Sit Alshon Jeffery, Tyler Lockett, or Sterling Shepard in Week 14? As you know, my wife and I are going head to head this year to …
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Should I Start or Sit Jacob Hollister, Kyle Rudolph, or Darren Fells in Week 13? As you know, my wife and I are going head to head this year to …
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Let’s face it… Tight end has been all over the map this season for fantasy football. Your top tight ends are guys who were undrafted or barely drafted (Austin Hooper …
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I’m going to level with you. There aren’t many great running back sleeper candidates this week, so I hit you all with a pivot in the sleepers series. First, an …
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Should I Pick up Josh Gordon? Week 9 is almost in the books, and it saw Josh Gordon moving to the Seahawks via getting dropped by the Patriots. This has …
Read More I know that bye weeks have started to roll around because the running back free agency pool turns to ash. All the good players have gotten hurt, and the ones …
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Ah, daily fantasy football. The last bastion of fantasy football junkies, who can’t do any significant roster tinkering on a Saturday, so they wander into their daily fantasy football client …
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It’s week four, which means the brutal reality of owning running backs will soon start catching up to us all. Don’t fret, we’re here to help. Below you’ll find two …
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Ah, daily fantasy football. The last bastion of fantasy football junkies, who can’t do any significant roster tinkering on a Saturday, so they wander into their daily fantasy football client …
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All of a sudden, it’s the year of the fantasy football rookie wide receiver. While one week does not make for a robust sample size, it is enough to start …
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It’s week one, which means you probably don’t want to go with sleepers right out of the gate. Chances are, you took the guys in your fantasy football draft for …
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Read More(Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/31/Russell_Wilson_vs_Vikings%2C_November_4%2C_2012.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that will …
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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(Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4b/Tyler_Lockett_with_fan%2C_Feb_2019_3.jpg/800px-Tyler_Lockett_with_fan%2C_Feb_2019_3.jpg under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en) As we gear up to the start of the NFL season, Football Absurdity is going to bring you a comprehensive breakdown of every notable player that …
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July and August are the best time of the year for fantasy football. We all start to formulate strategies, plant our flags, and decide who we will yell at on …
Read More There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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Ssh. Quiet. Hear that? That’s the sound of the ghost of the 2018 Seattle Seahawks’ fantasy football performance. Some say that on a quiet night, you can hear Brian Schottenheimer’s …
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2019 NFL Wild Card Predictions We know it’s a week late but we think the song that should kick off the NFL playoffs is ‘It’s the most wonderful time of …
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Start or Sit Marlon Mack, Chris Carson, or Damien Williams? It’s the fantasy football finals, and you are completely unsure of your roster, despite it getting you all the way …
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Fantasy Football Week 15: Start or Sit Curtis Samuel, Tyler Lockett, or Allen Robinson? It’s the fantasy football semifinals, which means it’s literally win or go home for you and …
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Start or Sit Jordan Howard, Chris Carson, or Rashaad Penny Week 14 is here, and those of you who limped into the playoffs might be deciding between Howard, Carson, Penny, …
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It’s the first week of the fantasy football playoffs in most leagues, and that means, statistically, fewer people than ever should be reading this article. Nevertheless, if you are reading …
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Fantasy Football Week 14: Start or Sit Cohen, Cook, or Edwards? It’s the first week of the fantasy football playoffs in most leagues, and that means, statistically, fewer people than …
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Fantasy Football Week 11: Start or Sit Tevin Coleman, Chris Carson, or Dalvin Cook? Week eleven is upon us, which means that some of us are just two games away …
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Fantasy Football Week 10: Start or Sit Peyton Barber, Kerryon Johnson, or Mike Davis? Nine weeks are in the books, and fantasy football leagues are starting to take shape heading …
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Week 9 TE Sleepers – Drink the Braterade Every week at Football Absurdity, we hope to provide you with actionable fantasy football advice. Whether it’s our weekly waiver wire pieces, …
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Fantasy Football Week 9: Start or Sit Doug Baldwin, Courtland Sutton, or Corey Davis? It’s fantasy football week nine, and the difficulty level matches the week. This week is one …
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Fantasy Football Week 8: Start or Sit Tyler Lockett, Devin Funchess, or Marvin Jones? It feels like the fantasy football season just started, but this is the last week where …
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Start or Sit Mike Davis in Fantasy Football Week Five? Ah, Mike Davis. Mike Davis, Mike Davis. The man vexes me. Well, more specifically, the fantasy football community’s obsession with …
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Start or Sit Chris Carson In this article we answer the question: should you start or sit Chris Carson in week two as the Chicago Bears host the Seattle Seahawks? …
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If you are interested in running back battles in training camp, then this fantasy football Rashaad Penny player profile is for you. As we gear up to the start of …
Read More If you only want the best wide receivers on your team, then this fantasy football Doug Baldwin player profile is for you. As we gear up to the start of …
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Before we get into our 2018 fantasy football sleeper, breakout, and bust, let’s do a quick primer: For the 2018 season, we will explore fantasy football sleepers, breakouts (or bounce …
Read More If you are interested in only the best in your quarterbacks, then this fantasy football Russell Wilson player profile should be just what you need. As we gear up to …
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I don’t know if the 2018 Seattle Seahawks rookies will be good, but they will definitely be forced to clean their rooms with training camps opening up. What I do …
Read MoreWhen you were young, you were abandoned by someone very close to you. As such, you have romanticized your relationship with them, so that when they finally become relevant to …
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As the league marches towards the future, and the NFL draft, because that’s how time works, it’s time to start taking stock of the teams around the league. In order …
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I’ve gotten serious palpations about writing about the Seattle Seahawks. Of all the perennial contenders, no team has as much insane topsy-turvy nonsense going on this off-season. Richard Sherman is …
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The Seattle Seahawks may have won the battle on Thursday Night Football, taking out the Arizona Cardinals 22-16 in a game that wasn’t ever really in doubt, but they lost …
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Only one wide receiver was more widely added this week in fantasy football than Paul Richardson, and that was part Twitter sensation, part Martavis Bryant annoyance, part wide receiver JuJu …
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We are a quarter of the way through the 2017 NFL Season and nothing has gone as expected. Just the way we like it. The only thing predicable about the …
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The waiver wire options for week five are a testament for just how much went wrong for some teams in week four. Injuries are piling up and if one of …
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Well, there’s the easy answer for fantasy football owners if Jimmy Graham, who is a game-time decision, is a no-go. You sit him. Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you …
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Fantasy Football: Week Two Waiver Wire Running Backs aka Bad Belichick Is Back We are two weeks into the football season and you still don’t know which Bill Belichick running …
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The Seattle Seahawks have been a fantasy football enigma recently, with Jimmy Graham, Russell Wilson, Thomas Rawls, Christine “The Woke One” Michael all had their fantasy value wildly vacillate last …
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