The Seattle Seahawks may have won the battle on Thursday Night Football, taking out the Arizona Cardinals 22-16 in a game that wasn’t ever really in doubt, but they lost the war. Newly acquired Left Tackle Duane Brown was rolled up and left with an ankle injury. He did not return. The bigger problem is that Richard Sherman likely tore his Achilles, or at least that’s what the repeated cuts to him on the sidelines saying, “I tore my Achilles,” would lead us to believe. If Brown misses any time combined with the loss of Sherman, it means the Seahawks are pretty much done for this year, giving the Los Angeles Rams the NFC West crown. It wasn’t all doom and gloom this week, there was plenty of levity in a game marred with injuries and disappointments to make the weekly Farceball, thank God.
5. Hi, Treehouse Bakery? One AP(ple) Turnover, Please
After Adrian Peterson ran roughshod over the 49ers last week, he sure was set and ready to be—yep. He fumbled it. He fumbled it on the first Cardinals play of the game.
4. Safety Dance with a side of Galaxy Brain
The Seahawks got the best play in the NFL, a safety. Unfortunately, it was Adrian Peterson who felt their wrath yet again. This was a pretty routine safety, but I found the Best Possible Take when I was trying to find video of it.
And the take?
3. Nah, it’s cool, this is my Nano Bubbles tent
NFL rules dictate that an independent medical professional flags when a player might have a concussion. They signal down to the field, and then a player must undergo a test to ensure they do not have a concussion. The first couple of things happened to Russell Wilson. Except Wilson just… sorta… ignored everything. He went into the blue sideline tent, alone, for a split second, then just walked out.
He did the Mitch Hedberg roundabout HIV test, but with a concussion. Just went up to Pete Carroll and said, “do you know anyone with a concussion? No? Cool, because you know me.”
2. I think the test results are good
Shortly after the self-administered concussion test, Russell Wilson turned in this play. I can’t even do anything with this. It’s just classic Russell Wilson B.S.
1. Would you like to play a game?
Ask yourself, truly ask yourself, “is this a catch?”
Because the NFL says it is not because Ellington fumbled once he hit the ground. Yeesh.
Next week the Titans take on the Steelers, which feels like it’s a battle between two types of Pokémon. It will probably be a boring game with Le’Veon Bell getting 50 carries for 600 yards and DeMarco Murray getting 600 carries for 50 yards, like every other Steelers game or Titans game.