Our Analysis is No Joke… But the Jokes Are
Welcome! I’m glad you found us: We are Football Absurdity, and we study auction/salary cap drafts more than anyone else. Heck, I’m mocking right now (it’s making it really hard …
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And we figured out exactly when you should do it.
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So we have a popular Discord where we give superflex auction/salary cap strategy advice. Lately, 9/10 people looking for advice have leagues with a glaring vulnerability that can be easily …
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Click here if you want to jump directly to my strategy and skip my sharing of my thoughts which are TOTALLY NORMAL AND NEITHER “UNHINGED” NOR “INSANE,” ANNIE! I’m going …
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Click here if you just want the chart as a printable pdf and don’t want to read how to use it. Good luck. I have trouble playing in fantasy football …
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Click here if you just want the chart as a printable pdf and don’t want to read how to use it. Good luck. I have trouble playing in fantasy football …
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After only 15 picks in your salary cap/auction draft, this tool will tell you which WR is going to go for a steal, later.
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When doing an online auction using ESPN or Yahoo, the two most popular sources, it’s important to know the differences. For instance, last year, ESPN was criminally low on both …
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There comes a time in every now-collapsed society when a symbol appears of their impending doom: Hawaiians seeing the ships of European explorers bringing all sorts of new disease over …
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It may be May, but I’ve already been hard at work researching actual mock auction data. I’ve done five 10-team mocks with almost all or all humans (I don’t have …
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If you’ve never heard of my BBQ salary cap strategy, here’s the elevator pitch: It’s a simple, repeatable method to ensure you leave your salary cap draft with a competitive …
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Every year, Evan Hoovler does the hard work for our fantasy football auction ranks. I come in over the top and have a fun little laugh and create a team …
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Making a great fantasy football salary cap team is just like budgeting and buying items for a barbecue. If that abstract analogy has been enough to already convince you, download the …
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Hi! If you don’t know me by now: I’m Evan Hoovler, the hardest mockin’ person in the Salary Cap Business! I mock so much. Today my doctor told me to …
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Hi! I’m Evan Hoovler. If you don’t know me by now: I’m that guy who mock salary cap drafts all the time. Like All. The. Time. My wife says it’s …
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Evan Hoovler joins Mike Valverde, Walker Kelly, and Jeff Krisko take a look at salary cap draft strategy. This is the first half of this week’s Patreon episode, which also …
Read More If you’ve never heard of my BBQ salary cap strategy, here’s the elevator pitch: It’s a simple, repeatable method to ensure you leave your salary cap draft with a competitive …
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Last updated: 7/16/22 **CONFIDENTIAL** This is for Football Absurdity readers only. If you are a member of my Big Money League KEEP OUT! In 2019 I was bummed: I hadn’t …
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You probably came here because you want a 2022 fantasy football salary cap values chart that you can use to easily stay competitive in your league without studying too hard. …
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Every year, Evan Hoovler does the hard work for our fantasy football salary cap draft ranks. I come in over the top and have a fun little laugh and create …
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Football Absurdity recently partnered with our favorite forums: SomethingAwful.com. The goal was simple: Fill a 2QB auction with 10 managers who would stick around for at least most of the …
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The year was 2019, and something was wrong. I know, I know: Something incredibly wrong was coming in 2020, but this is an article about fantasy football, keep up. In …
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(Updated 8/27/2021) IMPORTANT: We strongly recommend you read the strategy part of this article. If you skip straight to the 2021 fantasy football auction values chart, then bid to each …
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I usually do Yahoo mock auctions (and auctions at several other platforms) to get a feel about how auctions could flow. I amass hundreds of mocks then use that data …
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The 2021 NFL schedule is here! This is the first time I actually start to seriously consider the landscape of fantasy football auction strategies. Every other analyst will do this …
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You may have not even thought about 2021 auction strategy tips yet. But I have been thinking about it since January. Now that the NFL draft has concluded, I am …
Read More You might be planning on printing out these 2021 superflex dynasty auction values. You might be thinking of sitting at the auction table, bidding up to the values listed on …
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If you’re like me, you currently have mock fantasy football auctions open in three different windows. Yeah, you’re not like me. And that’s great! Let me do all the hard …
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Auction strategy for 14 team leagues has a few key, but easy to figure out, differences than auctions for smaller leagues, and we’ve got a winning strategy! For those who are …
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I put a lot of thought into this 2 QB fantasy football auction strategy guide, but I put even more thought into which cutesy pun to put into the title. …
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Welcome to Drafts On Tap, where I record me running through my fantasy football auction strategy with ample commentary. We now have a permanent co-host! Every week, Football Absurdity co-owner …
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A lot of people have been hopping into our Discord to ask for tweaks on BBQ strategy, my 2020 fantasy football auction values chart, their specific league settings, and Grrl …
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Welcome to Drafts On Tap, where I record me doing an entire mock auction with ample commentary. We now have a permanent co-host! Every week, Football Absurdity co-owner Waleed Ismail …
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I love writing this article every single year… Well, sort of. Usually, I write the all $1 team of auction sleepers, but the FantasyPros Auction Calculator fixed whatever algorithm it …
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BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN TO THE FANTASY FOOTBALL AUCTION VALUES PLEASE NOTE: These fantasy football auction values aren’t to be used like rankings sheets. This is because they are to …
Read More Updated 7/30/20 New: Watch me do a live mock auction with commentary every Friday at 6 PM PST. Check out past recordings, here. Welcome, one and all, to our most …
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Welcome to Drafts On Tap, where I record me doing an entire mock auction with ample commentary. In this inaugural episode I encounter the first-ever deviancy from what I thought was …
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Updated 7/4/20 Welcome, one and all, to our most popular article that doesn’t have “Beersheets” in the title! It’s the 2020 fantasy football auction values chart! If you want an …
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All Rise for the Fantasy Football Auction Mock Report for June 19, 2020! “Will you mock a little faster?” said an owner to a drafter, “There’s a player I hate …
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Welcome, one and all, to our most popular article series that doesn’t have “Beersheets” in the title! It’s the 2020 fantasy football auction values chart! This is my second go-around …
Read More Welcome, one and all, to our most popular article series that doesn’t have “Beersheets” in the title! It’s the 2020 fantasy football auction values chart! There’s a reason our auction …
Read More This is a weekly series where I detail the evolution of the fantasy football auction landscape. I do this based on my extensive mock drafting each week. The purpose is …
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You know, it was probably a bad idea to gamble your fantasy football auction dollars on the ponies. Also, it was pretty weird for the track to accept fake dollars …
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Congrats on doing an auction draft league! You are significantly upgrading your fantasy football experience. Auction versus snake draft is like watching football when your fantasy players are in the …
Read More If you don’t know me by now: I’m the auction strategy guy. I basically only do auctions. I’m in two mock auctions right now, which is making it super hard …
Read More ALERT: Dominate your auction leagues with our new, foolproof auction strategy Updated 9/3/19 Thanks for helping make last year’s fantasy football auction values list our all-time most popular article! It …
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Our 2019 Fantasy Football Auction Values chart is up! Make these 2018 fantasy football auction values your primary weapon for destroying all of your auction leagues. (Updated 9/3/18) Last year’s …
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Evan: One day, it hit me, like a bolt of lightning from God: I like bossing my friends around, I like doing shrooms on top of a mountain. Therefore, I am …
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The train pulled into the station at Chenati, India.
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Anyone who has ever shot a bunch of people in an attempt to overthrow a brutal regime knows:
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You Be the Commish is your chance to make a ruling on an exciting rules conundrum.
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Last Thursday, our very own Evan Hoovler told you how you can dominate your fantasy football auction league. Yet in the very first sentence, he told you about how one …
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All great heroes have a flaw, or a crippling fear. Indiana Jones had snakes, B.A. Baracus had a fear of flying, the main character of Moonlight was afraid of werewolves
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My favorite and most competitive fantasy football league is in our 17th year. We all meet in person in Lake Tahoe, CA. Last year, a few days before the auction, …
Read MoreThis is for 12 team leagues, $200 budget. If your fantasy football league has a different number of teams, just adjust proportionately (If you have 10 teams, which is 1/6 …
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I didn’t go “all the way to the end zone” with a woman until I was 24 years old. I’m not saying this just to brag, my life can serve …
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