Week 6 Injury Report by Your Dad
Dad, here, with the week 6 injury report! Yes I am your real dad and I’ll prove it: “Hi hungry, I’m Dad!” Who else would know that one but your …
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Week 5 Injury Report by a Guy with Every Inferiority Complex
First of all: I resent the title Week 5 Injury Report by a Guy with Every Inferiority Complex. That’s just fake news by the mainstream media who wants to downplay the …
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Week 4 Injury Report: 52 Lines about 26 Players
Alright: Week 4 injury report time. Let’s get through this before I’m too inebriated to type. An exciting race against time! Week 4 Injury Report Quarterbacks “Is Jimmy Garoppolo playing?” …
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Week Three Injury Report by William Shakespeare
Whattup, subscribers: It’s ya’ boy, Shakey here. Comin’ in hot with the week three injury report stuffed FULL of all the “forsooth’s” and “thine’s” you can handle. Week Three Injury …
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Week 2 Injury Report: Everyone Is Fine!
Each Saturday we have a guest author write the Football Absurdity injury report. This author is totally, 100% real and not just a product of Evan Hoovler’s fragmented, hungover mind. …
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Fantasy Football Week 1 Injury Report by the World’s Most Positive Person
Joyous tidings, everyone! I’ve just taken a break from baking a soufflé with my wife and sons to bring you the week 1 injury report. Before I begin, remember: Life …
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Fantasy Football Injury Report Week 15: Josh Jacobs, Patrick Mahomes, Derrick Henry and More
(This fantasy football injury report is guest-authored by A Guy Who Can Only Speak in Video Game Metaphors) Week 14 had frags galore, as a number of fantasy football studs …
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Dallas Cowboys / Fantasy Football 2019 / Injury Reports / Minnesota Vikings / New York Jets / San Francisco 49ers / Week 11 2019 Fantasy Football Advice
Week 11 Injury Report: Info on CMC, Adam Thielen, George Kittle and More!
(Guest Author: A Guy Who Doesn’t Understand Metrics) It’s time to look at week 11 injuries from a standpoint of pure analytics. I’m casting emotion aside and showing you the …
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Week 12 Injury Report (as written by a schlock horror writer)
Week 12 Injury Report Good evening, for it is always the evening in the stretching shadows of the darkest places of our mind. And there is nothing darker than injuries, …
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Week Two NFL Injury Report
Week Two NFL Injury Report by a blindly optimistic Raiders fan What’s up NF-aiLures! Your representative from THE hottest team here to hold your hands as your not-exciting coaches continue …
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Week 15 Injury Report: None of These Football Guys Are Better than Mike Davis
Gentlemen, It has come to my attention that you did not include my son (Mike Davis) in your week 14 sleepers list. In fact, you were the only site on …
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Injury Column for NFL’s 14th Block of Action
Right as I was sitting down to do this column, a button pops off my laptop. It’s that symbol in back of F and in front of D. Still, I …
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Week 13 NFL Injury Report – What’s Brown-and-Yellow-and-Bigoted-All-over?
I’ve been tasked with writing the week 13 NFL injury report, despite the fact that my mere literacy transcends the boundaries of modern science. But I’m not bitter, no ho-ho, …
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NFL Week 12 Injury Report, by Your Older Brother
What’s this- the week 12 injury report? Wow, I can’t believe you’re still playing fantasy football. What a loser! This is why you never have any girlfriends, except for that …
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Week 11 Injury Report by Tyrod Taylor’s Bloated Angst
As I sit here in this empty pew, the church is so quiet I can hear the rainwater running along the downspout outside. It will wash away the fallen leaves, …
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Fantasy Football Week 10 Injury Report: A Tale of Drama and Romance
This week 10 injury report is the final chapter in my upcoming novel, “Frankie’s Fantasy Football Team: Week 9.” It’s going to be the first part of a series.
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NFL Week 9 Injury Report – Paperwork Is the Most Important
Editor’s note: For the Week 9 injury report, we wanted to bring in an insider to weigh-in on the McCarron trade paperwork gaffe. So we got someone who is in …
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Week 8 Injury Report by “Dr.” Sebastian Flowers, Natural Healer and Chiropractor
What Big Medicine doesn’t want you to know is that a lot of players on the week 8 injury report would heal much sooner if they opened their minds to …
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Farm and NFL Injury Report for Week 7
NFL Injury Report for Week 7 Name’s Ephraim. Been farmin’ since the second Great War. Here’s what I think about the NFL injury report for week 7. Also, I got …
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Week 6 Report for NFL Injuries and Conspiracies
Greetings humans and extra-terrestrial aficionados of human fantasy sports. I am here with a Week 6 report for NFL injuries that will bring the curtains down on this whole plot. …
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So, My Wife Died Last Night: A Week 5 NFL Injury Report
She had been ill for some time. Last night I was asked to give the consent to take her off life support. She looked at me before she died, with …
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Injury Report for Week 4 (by a Guy Who Is in Denial about His Own Racism)
Melvin Gordon Injury Report for Week 4 Dealing with an injury, Gordon sat out Wednesday’s practice. His starting-or-sitting decision will come down to whether he can practice or not …
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I Need a Woke Man, Not a Broke Man! Fantasy Football Week 3 Injuries
My fellow ladies, you know I love a fixer-upper! But I don’t want to land myself on the week 3 injuries report with a broken heart. So I’ve got the …
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