Week eight of the 2020 NFL season and these injuries are starting to get a bit ridiculous. Odell Beckham Jr., Kenyan Drake, and Chris Carson lead off the list of casualties for week seven. Lucky for you, Football Absurdity is going to help you salvage your decimated rosters. If I don’t mention someone whom you think I should be talking about, just know there are many reasons why I overlooked them. Maybe they are owned in most leagues. Maybe they are so bad I don’t even consider them. Maybe it’s because your opinions cannot be trusted. After all, you are here. So let us examine what our best week seven waiver wire players for your championship run are…
Week Eight Waiver Wire QBs
Teddy Bridgewater, Carolina Panthers (38% rostered)
Teddy Bridgewater might not be the most exciting quarterback, but he is reliable. In week seven, he threw for 254 yards and 2 touchdowns. While not the most exciting stats, Bridgewater also didn’t torpedo your team if you started him. In week eight, Teddy Bridgewater is facing an Atlanta Falcons team that is breaking new ground in a statistic I just made up – heartbreaking losses. I’d start myself against the Falcons and I have carpal tunnel syndrome.
Baker Mayfield, Cleveland Browns (24% rostered)
Baker Mayfield managed to throw for 297 yards, 5 touchdowns, and a pick in week seven. The craziest thing about that stat line is that he still wasn’t a top-five fantasy quarterback for the week. Some of you who had Baker Mayfield as a sleeper for this year might be feeling optimistic, but I would recommend caution. Mayfield won’t be playing the Cincinnati Bengals next week. Then again, he is playing the Raiders, so maybe Baker is worth a look.
Week Eight Waiver Wire RBs
Zack Moss, Buffalo Bills (42% rostered)
Against the Jets in week seven, Zack Moss had 72 all-purpose yards. By comparison, Devin Singletary had 47 all-purpose yards. Singletary was on the field 54% of the time compared to Moss’s 47%. A lot of people thought that at some point in the 2020 season, Moss would eventually take more of a lead back role and see more goal-line carries. I am more inclined to believe that the Bills’ goal-line back is Josh Allen and nobody is going to emerge as the clear number one running back in Buffalo.
Frank Gore/La’Mical Perine, New York Jets (26/14% rostered)
In week eight, Frank Gore rushed for 60 yards. Also in week eight, La’Mical Perine rushed for 59 yards and a touchdown. Combined, that would make for a pretty nice RB1 performance. By themselves, each player is vulturing the other’s carries in an anemic offense that is doing its best to get Adam Gase fired. (I’m joking, Adam Gase doesn’t need help getting fired.) The New York Jets are so bad that Le’Veon Bell was the happiest he has been in two years after getting 39 yards in Kansas City. I want no shares of the Jets offense unless they belong to Jamison Crowder.
JaMycal Hasty, San Francisco 49ers (13% rostered)
After putting up 112 yards and 3 touchdowns, Jeff Wilson decided to do what every other player in 2020 has done and got himself put on injured reserve. What this means is that every running back on the San Francisco 49ers is officially dead… except for Jerick McKinnon. If you’ve rostered McKinnon this year, you know he is just dead to Kyle Shanahan. By process of elimination, you want to grab JaMycal Hasty on your waiver wire. After Wilson went down, Hasty had 73 all-purpose yards and he looked good getting them. Just know that Shanahan is from the Bill Belichick school of running backs, which means he hates your fantasy team.
Carlos Hyde, Seattle Seahawks (9% rostered)
Chris Carson has been listed as week to week, which means that he could play next week or he could be out a month. If you have ever rostered Chris Carson before, this is not unchartered territory for you. If you need any help at running back this week, Carlos Hyde is someone you have to consider targeting. After Carson went down, Hyde had 68 yards and a touchdown. Any running back starting in that Seattle offense immediately becomes a low-end RB1. That is how dynamic that offense is.
Wayne Gallman Jr., New York Giants (2% rostered)
Throughout the Thursday Night football game in week seven, I kept thinking to myself that Wayne Gallman Jr. was having a career game. You can imagine my surprise when I looked at Gallman’s stats and saw he only had 54 all-purpose yards and a touchdown. The New York Giants are a dumpster fire, but at least Gallman is getting carries. If you need a body at running back, I can confirm that Gallman is a body.
Week Eight Waiver Wire WRs
Christian Kirk, Arizona Cardinals (52% rostered)
Over his last two games, Christian Kirk has 4 touchdowns. While touchdowns are not something you can depend upon regularly, there are other stats that indicate Christian Kirk is worth adding. Namely, his ten-zone targets and recent target volume. Kirk ranks seventh in ten zone targets with five, and his eighteen targets in the last three games. Kirk appears to have established himself as the number two receiver in a pass-heavy Cardinals offense, and a red zone threat for Arizona. If you can grab Kirk, he could be a high-upside play down the stretch.
Cole Beasley, Buffalo Bills (42% rostered)
Cole Beasley seems to have found himself a significant role in the Buffalo Bills’ offense and that role appears to keep expanding. Beasley averages eight targets per game over the last three weeks. In week seven, Cole Beasley has 11 catches for 112 yards. While he probably won’t win you many weeks, Beasley is a player you can throw in a flex spot and feel comfortable having a high floor performance.
Sterling Shepard, New York Giants (33% rostered)
Now that Sterling Shepard is back and healthy on the Giants roster, he appears to have locked down the number receiving slot in New York. His 6 catches for 59 yards and a touchdown in week seven might fill you with hope… if you haven’t rostered Shepard before. But let’s be honest with ourselves. If history is any indicator, Sterling Shepard won’t remain healthy long. And even if he does remain healthy, Shepard still has Daniel Jones throwing him the football. If I can’t trust Daniel Jones to rush 80 yards for a touchdown without tripping over his own feet, how can I trust Jones to throw the ball to Sterling Shepard consistently?
Nelson Agholor, Las Vegas Raiders (3% rostered)
The only reason I am bringing up Nelson Agholor is that if you look at his numbers, it could be pretty easy to convince yourself he is a solid waiver wire option. In week seven, Agholor had five catches for 107 yards and a touchdown. Nelson Agholor has also caught a touchdown pass in each of his past three games. Don’t let this fool you. Agholor is having a nice stretch, but he is still the third option (at best) on a run-first Raiders offense. The minute you put a claim in for him, he will go back to being Nelson Agholor.
Rashad Higgins, Cleveland Browns (2% rostered)
Odell Beckham, Jr. tore his ACL in the Browns week seven win over the Bengals, leaving a glaring vacancy at wide receiver. With his 6 catches for 110 yards, Rashad Higgins looks like he is primed to fill that void. While Jarvis Landry might seem to be the primary beneficiary of Beckham’s departure, his strength is in the slot, meaning Higgins will have better looks for bigger players.
Week Eight Waiver Wire TEs
Logan Thomas, Washington Whosits (18% rostered)
In week seven, Logan Thomas has 4 catches for 60 yards and a touchdown. However, there are two reasons you shouldn’t use a waiver on him. First, next week Washington is on a bye week. Second, Logan Thomas hasn’t very good at football throughout his career.
Richard Rodgers, Philadelphia Eagles (7% rostered)
With Zack Ertz and Dallas Goedert unavailable, Richard Rodgers is the only tight end in Philadelphia with a pulse. Which means you should probably consider rostering him. The Eagles’ only other living offensive weapon is some dude named Travis Fulgham. It’s dire in Philly. Moreover, in week seven, Rodgers had 6 catches for 85 yards. If you need tight end help, you could go a lot worse than Richard Rodgers, but probably not much better.
Harrison Bryant, Cleveland Browns (1% rostered)
The best tight end of week seven was Cleveland Browns rookie and training camp darling Harrison Bryant. With Austin Hooper out with appendicitis, Bryant capitalized to the tune of 4 catches for 56 yards and 2 touchdowns. With Hooper’s availability up in the air, Bryant is definitely worth a look. Baker Mayfield likes his tight ends. However, Bryant will still be competing with Njoku for looks, even if Hooper misses an extended amount of time. And most important of all, Harrison Bryant is still a rookie, and rookie tight ends are notoriously unreliable.
Now that you have a shiny new team, how about a spooky new fantasy football team name?