Women Should Be Allowed to Watch Football on Thanksgiving!

football on thanksgiving

THIS IS ME AT EVERY SINGLE THANKSGIVING EVER

No, Mom, I don’t want to help you bake a stupid pie. I’m watching football.

Yes, Mom, I know you want grandchildren.

No, Mom, I don’t think my lack of interest in making pies is holding me back from getting a man. I do just fine for myself.

No, Mom, I don’t do this intentionally to make you cry.

My Mom thinks guys think this lady is super hot

Yes, Dad, that player is kneeling.

No, Dad, I don’t think he’s protesting the military, they just didn’t want to run another play before halftime.

Dad, Kaepernick hasn’t been in the league for three years.

No, Dad, I don’t know what you mean by “those people.”

No, Uncle Larry, I’m not trying to fix your computer. I’m just checking fantasy football scores.

If your computer says “low disk space” then you have to go delete something. Why does your home screen have 500 icons on it?

No, I don’t think my deleting 70 pieces of malware on your computer six months ago is what caused it to have low disk space.

Gonna just pretend I don’t know why your Internet is slow,
Or else I’ll be asked to fix this every two weeks.

No, Grandma, I don’t want to come in and stick my hands up a bird carcass, second-half kickoff is about to begin.

Yes, Grandma, I’m still “into that vegetarian nonsense.”

It’s not a cult, Grandma. I just don’t eat meat.

Yes, Grandma, I know your dad used to hunt your dinner every night. He also died from colon cancer.

No, Mom, I didn’t mean to make Grandma cry.

No, Cousin Taylor, I don’t want to check out Matt Stafford’s “badonkadonk.” I’m watching to see if he can fully rotate on his throws or if his back injury is lingering.

No, Taylor, I don’t think those players are hot. They are wearing helmets, how can you even tell?

No, Taylor, I don’t want to head up the baby shower for your sixth kid.

You know what I find sexy?
Nothing: I’m hanging with my family and everything smells like an ashtray

Yes, Aunt Barbara, I’m still a waitress.

No, Aunt Barbara, I don’t think sideline reporter would be a good job for me to go back to school for.

No, Aunt Barbara, I can’t give your coworker’s grandson’s little league team an employee discount.

Oh, great. The game’s over. I didn’t even get to watch it.

 

 

For more La Femme Football, check out these articles:

These 8 Funny Amazon Reviews Were Left by Football Fans with HUGE ISSUES

Fantasy Football Romance Literature: Does It Actually Exist?

Can a Woman Play Football? 5 Ladies Who Could Start in the NFL

 

[Photo Credits: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Father_Knows_Best_Thanksgiving_1954.jpg, https://pixabay.com/photos/apple-pie-woman-kitchen-baking-3723444/, https://www.flickr.com/photos/4braham/4822766469, and https://pixabay.com/photos/biceps-triceps-fit-fitness-muscle-2945912/ under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en] 

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