Imagine you are at the blackjack table. You have a nineteen. You see the dealer holding a ten and you know that he has a twenty and has you beat. So you hit. And you get your two for a twenty-one to win. At that moment, you decide to hit on nineteen every single time. Because that one time, you beat the odds. If you decide to start Josh Gordon, you are betting on nineteen.
I shouldn’t have to tell you not to start Josh Gordon this week. But since he has been reinstated, people have been losing their minds. In 2013, Josh Gordon had an incredible fantasy football season. It was a season for the ages. Gordon had 87 catches. He had 1646 yards receiving. He had 9 touchdowns. And all the blow. It was truly a magical season for everyone involved.
People have been chasing the Josh Gordon dragon ever since. Trying to catch that pre-game Josh Gordon high. Everyone remembers the 2013 season when it comes to Josh Gordon. But what about the 2014 season? Do you remember the season where he had 24 catches for 303 yards and no touchdowns? Apparently, I am the only one who does. He was really bad at football in 2014! Why do people keep clamoring for Josh Gordon? Because, one time, they played the lottery and won.
Try to remember that Josh Gordon is a completely different player now. He is sober. As a man who has consumed copious amounts of drugs and alcohol throughout his life, I can honestly tell you that it makes you fearless. You will let nothing get in your way. This revelation means that Josh Gordon is playing scared. Personally, I won’t put him in my starting lineup unless I personally see him smoking a joint before the game.
Maybe, just maybe, we should all slow our collective roll’s on the Josh Gordon hype train. The man hasn’t played football in almost three years. But somehow, we expect him to become football Jesus. If you need Josh Gordon to save your terrible fantasy football team, odds are Jesus wouldn’t be able to save it. For the love of God, don’t start Josh Gordon.
Here is some more week thirteen fantasy football advice that you should absolutely take if you want to stop being bad