The Buffalo Bills had an amazing offseason. Amazingly… bad (got ’em)! LeSean McCoy might not play, and they ditched the first quarterback to lead them to the playoffs since Rob Johnson in the Clinton Administration. They brought in A.J. McCarron, kept Nathan Peterman around and brought in Josh Allen in the draft. They also snagged two late-round wideouts in the draft, but will Allen or the men he will (theoretically) throw it to have fantasy football relevance in 2018?
(the short answer is, “good God no, and neither will any other Buffalo Bill unless LeSean McCoy somehow plays…” enjoy!)
Josh Allen, Quarterback, Round One
Josh Allen is fascinating. In the way that watching Dr. Pimple Popper videos is fascinating. The way that Russian dashcam videos are interesting. Or the way that reliving old conversations in the shower is fascinating. None of those are pretty to look at, none of them are great ideas, and none of them end up with you doing anything productive in the end.
Josh Allen has all the intangibles that guys who think it’s still 1995 love. He’s big and athletic, and he can throw on the run (poorly). Allen is huge and has a rifle for an arm, but it has the accuracy of a musket. His accuracy and ball placement are all over the place. Also, the balls break the space-time continuum as he throws missiles that somehow travel extremely slowly. If the ball ever hits 88 miles per hour, maybe we would see some serious… stuff?
Josh Allen’s mobility isn’t a positive trait, either. It’s a hindrance. He hits a couple reads then looks to run out of the pocket, but he runs away with his head downfield. He can’t throw the ball from his base, but he isn’t running for positive yards. It’s annoying to watch, especially when you try to count how many clean pockets he sprints backward away from. Also, is “mobile” code for “likes to throw at weird angles while falling down”?
A positive for him is that he can put the ball where only his receiver can get it. Well… he puts it where the defender can’t get it. But then again, neither can the receiver. The skinny on Josh Allen is that he’s an unathletic Colin Kaepernick. And for the people who like that he’s a big beefy QB boy and that means decent production, so are Paxton Lynch, Brock Osweiler, Zach Mettenberger, Jake Locker, Blaine Gabbert, Josh Freeman and E.J. Manuel.
I don’t even need to get into the absolute dumpster fire of a situation in Buffalo. The only way he would be fantasy football relevant is if a meteor falls on the Annual Mediocre or Better Quarterback Convention (and then some unrelated problem befalls Nathan Peterman and A.J. McCarron).
What was Buffalo thinking?
Ray-Ray McCloud, Wide Receiver, Round Six
JOSH ALLEN NEEDS WEAPONS! That’s why the Buffalo Bills took a career special teamer that is in the Tavon Austin/LaMichael James, “wow this guy was great in college because he’s such a Swiss Army knife… who has no defined role in an offense” mold. He’s small, without great wiggle or burst. He tried his hand at DB drills already, which doesn’t bode well for him on offense. His absolute ceiling is 30 catches a season. Pass (no Josh Allen, I wasn’t talking to you).
Austin Proehl, Wide Receiver, Round Seven
I guess the Bills needed someone that makes Ray-Ray McCloud look impressive? Unless your league has points for being compared to Rudy, then just let him slide. He made his hay on comeback routes but didn’t even do a ton with them. His tape is boring and disappointing, and it’s unlikely he ever does anything of value in fantasy football in his career, let alone his rookie season.