You’ve collected all the data, and so can objectively state that your farts smell the best. This is due to your own excretory musk being the same scent as the over-fertilized fields on which you achieved a small measure of high school sports success. Do one thing good, feel great about it for the rest of your miserable life: You are the sports fan equivalent of the comic strip Dilbert.
This disconnect between your beliefs and reality requires a certain amount of mental gymnastics. As such, you drink far too much alcohol. You would be an alcoholic, but your taste for $100 Napa reds makes constant consumption prohibitive. Oh, yeah, you are poor too. This quiz secretly tested that, which is why we asked for your social security number.
The thing is, living in such a notoriously diverse area as San Francisco, one would expect you to be a lot less… white. Yes, this survey also tests skin color. If you had previously decided that your skin was not Caucasian colored, well, we’ve all learned something new about ourselves, today. Welcome to the human atrocities club.
Not happy with your results? Take the quiz again. This time be either more or less honest.
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