Whattup, subscribers: It’s ya’ boy, Shakey here. Comin’ in hot with the week three injury report stuffed FULL of all the “forsooth’s” and “thine’s” you can handle.
Week Three Injury Report
Quarterbacks
Jimmy Garoppolo
Thy pains not used must by thyself be paid,
His sprain will keep this QB waylaid.
Drew Lock
What pleasure, sir, find we in life, to lock it,
But, you’ll see, on Sunday, that Drew Lock sits.
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Running Backs
Josh Jacobs
Will Josh Jacobs start, and playeth in full?
He practices, but halt: He remains questionable!
Raheem Mostert
Where lies the fate of Raheem Mostert?
Defend him, friends! For he is out, hurt.
Cam Akers
His seated heart hath knocked at his ribs,
It’s a real medical condition, just trust me: it is.
Zack Moss
Though a rolling moss gathers narry a stone,
This Moss will be spending Sunday at home.
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Wide Receivers
Kenny Golladay
We mustn’t let questionable tags distract us,
Kenny G should play after limited practice
Julio Jones
Let the clues allude to what answers you seek,
Julio is a game-time decision, but he practiced narry once this week
Julian Edelman
Knee injuries are like babes in that we must cradle them,
Check back before game-time about Julian Edelman
Jamison Crowder
Parting is but the sweetest sorrow,
Except when Crowder parts with your starting lineup, on the ‘morrow
T.Y. Hilton
Ta’en from the armoury with a broken Hilton,
He shall not be a player your lineup is built on
Davante Adams
Your commendations, madam, get from her barters,
Your Davante Adams, get them away from your starters
Got a quantity you want iambically metered? Leave it in the comments section!
Tight Ends
Darren Waller
The end of human misery,
is Waller saying he’ll play to TMZ
Jack Doyle
Double bubble, toil and trouble,
Frank Reich says he’ll play Doyle, but he’s still on the injury, um, bubble
That’s it for now. Don’t forget: If I get 7 billion retweets I’ll reveal who is actually in charge of my Twitter account and wrote 5 of my most famous plays!
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