(co-author: Bryan Sclar)
It’s time to roll out a Christmas list way too early, so that people say, “this is way too early to publish a Christmas fantasy football team names list” and click it ANYWAY.
I think it might be time to reveal our fantasy football team name methodology that has gotten our humble site at the top of search results:
- We need at least a two-syllable match or 33% of the syllables have to be a name pun
- No direct matches (sorry, Mason Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
Because of this, we come up with and reject about 95% of Christmas fantasy football team names that other sites might publish. It’s this commitment to deep-self loathing that cements us as true writers and contributes to our alcoholism.
Without further SEO-adoo, here’s our list of Christmas fantasy football team names:
(Don’t worry, ye of other faiths: We’ll have Hannukah and Kwanzaa team name lists next week!)
Christmas Fantasy Football Team Names
| Player or Players |
Christmas Fantasy Football Team Name
|
| Parris Campbell, Sterling Shepard Team Name | Shepard-tridge in a Parris Tree |
| Blake Bortles Team Name | Two Bortle Doves |
| Carson Wentz Team Name | Three French Wentz |
| Gerald Everett, D.J. Chark, Mike Singletary Team Name |
Chark the Gerald Angels Singletary
|
| Jimmy Garoppolo, N’Keal Harry Team Name | Harry Down the Jimmy, Tonight |
| Drew Brees Team Name | Tis the Breeson |
| Zane Gonzalez, Noah Fant Team Name | Rudolph the Red-Noah ZaneDeer |
| TJ Hockenson, Byron Pringle Team Name | Pringle Bell Hock |
| Dante Pettis Team Name |
Pettis Snow, Pettis Snow, Pettis Snow
|
| Mohamed Sanu Team Name | Sanu-ball Fight |
| Kyle Allen Team Name | Kyle Allen-t Night |
| Isaiah Crowell, Hunter Hurst Team Name | The Hurst Crowell |
| Tony Pollard Team Name | The Pollard Express |
| Aaron Rodgers, Juju Smith-Schuster Team Name | All Arod for Christmas is Juju |
| Marshawn Lynch Team Name | You’re a Marshawn, Mr. Lynch |
| Odell Beckham Team Name | Odell It on the Mountain |
| Todd Gurley Team Name | Todd Rest Ye Gurley Gentlemen |
| Khalil Mack Team Name | Mele Khalil-ka-Mack-a |
| TJ Hockenson Team Name | Hockenson a Winter Wonderland |
| Ameer Abdullah, Juju Smith Schuster Team Name | Juju Hear What Ameer |
For more, check out our 2018 list of holiday fantasy football team names
Want to write team names with us? Join our Discord
[Photo Credit: https://www.maxpixel.net/Fabric-Red-Nicholas-Santa-Claus-Advent-1813803]
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