After literal weeks of ineptitude, the Cowboys offense finally showed that it’s capable of performing like an actual, functional NFL offense without Ezekiel Elliott. Both of these teams played on Thanksgiving, so they were on normal rest. Still, there was plenty of farce to be had on Thursday Night Football this week. The short: the Cowboys won. Dak got over his fear of throwing into coverage, and Alf Morris got his revenge. The long is below as we outline the five most absurd, wild or farcical things that happened in Week Thirteen’s Thursday Night Farceball.
5. THEY DO SAY THAT IT’S A GAME OF INCHES
On a punt in the first quarter, the Cowboys punted the football just short of the end zone. It was literally inches
The receiving team (unknown Washington) was called for holding. The ball was moved half the distance to the goal, or about a foot, in a metaphor for the Dallas Cowboys offense.
…they were then called for a false start.
4. TALK ABOUT AN OFFENSIVE LINE
In the second quarter, Dallas center Travis Frederick didn’t think it was time to snap the football. Everyone else disagreed.
3. THE TRAIL–NICE UNIFORMS–OF TEARS
There was a span in the second quarter where every Washington player was dying on the field. The social media intern for their Twitter account hoped to bring some hope to the proceedings.
2. CHECK OUT BUDDY WHEN BUDDY GET UP
Dez Bryant hasn’t been the same player this year. His propensity for not getting open and Dak’s hatred of throwing in tight windows have led to a huge downturn in production for him. No matter, even a step slow and unable to create separation, he’s still open when he’s not open. This is the other definition of absurd. Look at him get up.
1. MR. & MR. & MR. SMITH
With the game already out of hand, the ball went to Rod Smith to run it in for the score. While he was short of the TD, he was still escorted by his large adult sons.
That’s that for this week’s Farceball! Join us next week where we might get more actual good football! The New Orleans Saints travel to Atlanta to take on the Falcons, in what could be a battle for NFC South supremacy.