BOY OH BOY! THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL! COLTS VERSUS BRONCOS! THE PEYTON MANNING BOWL! WEEK FIFTEEN IS UNDERWAY! Starring… Jacoby Brissett and Brock Osweiler. Taste the excitement. Ultimately, who cares about the end result of this game? Denver fans can’t agree, because they’re arguing whether a win is good or bad. The Colts fans probably did the same thing pre-game. Chuck Pagano is gone in Indianapolis next year, and God help the Denver Broncos if either of their awful QBs that played this game start for them next year. There weren’t really any fantasy football players worth using… when only four owners remain in any given fantasy football league. This is a game that ultimately didn’t matter and will be forgotten as soon as it is over. Lost to the sands of time, much like all of us. All we are is a Jacoby Brissett pass fluttering in the wind, baby.
Hey at least they were both horsey teams, which is cool, I guess.
MADDEN CAM STRIKES AGAIN
Thursday Night Football gave us yet another Madden Cam game, which means Twitter Coaches were out in full effect tonight. Madden Cam is great because we can see in real time how stupid passes are. Like this one from Trevor Siemian before he was mercifully removed from the 2017 Denver Broncos with a shoulder injury.
IF DEVONTAE BOOKER LEAPS A DEFENDER ON A DEAD PLAY, DOES IT EVER HAPPEN
Devontae Booker had the highlight of the entire long, boring game. But in true long, boring game fashion, it didn’t count. The Broncos got called for holding and the play never happened. If a Devontae Booker leaps a defender on a boring play that never counted in a game that nobody watched, did it really happen?
BRONCOS WITH THE SA—BRONCOS WITH TH—BRONCOS W—
Jacoby Brissett is quite the slippery fish. This play is also a metaphor for people watching this game waiting for something interesting to happen.
I’LL SAVE YOU THE PAIN AND STRUGGLE OF HEARING CRIS COLLINSWORTH’S OSWEILER LOVE
Apparently, Cris forgot that Brock Osweiler was Brock Osweiler, and forgot that he was facing the 2017 Indianapolis Colts. That’s bad on bad, but Collinsworth credited Osweiler with every Indy breakdown, every good Bronco RB run, and every great catch made by wideouts. He then credited Hue Jackson with fixing Brock and blood came out of my ears. Maybe Hue should have spent some time “fixing” DeShone Kizer instead?
Thursday Night Football, mercifully, is over. We’ve had some ups and some downs. Some of the games were great! Remember Chiefs-Raiders? Remember Niners-Rams? Some of the games were bad! All of them produced farce. Thursday Night Football IS Thursday Night Farceball, and a massive issue for player safety and should be abolished because it’s nothing but a huge money grab. We’ll see you next season for the opener as the, uh *rolls dice* champion Pittsburgh Steelers host the *spins wheel* Cleveland Browns?! Oh man, that’s not going to be pretty.