Before we start anything here, yes, we need to take a moment and hope for the best for Damar Hamlin. I’m not going to use this platform to add my own take to that which more important and intelligent people should be (and are) saying, but it’s just a harsh reminder that the sport we love is played at the expense of real human beings.
Welcome back to The Degenerates Gambit! Once again, please remember that these articles are for fun, and while I love writing them and gambling on football, if you or someone you know is addicted and needs help, please get help or get help for them. The national helpline number is 1-800-522-4700.
It’s been a wild ride this season, fellow degens. As of this writing, nothing is really set in stone in terms of playoff seeding, so I went from an understandably disinterested husk on Tuesday to someone who sees a lot of potential to end the season successfully (also a husk, but in a different way). Let’s not shoot the shit, let’s get to the bets.
NY JETS (-1)
You know things are bad when Mike Glennon steps in. Presumably, this is the case in his non-football life as well, where his presence inevitably brings down the atmosphere in the room upon arrival. Or, it’s possible he’s the opposite: behind the curtains, Mike Glennon rules. I think I like that one better, and he’s only here to plan the end-of-year party, since the Jets will lay Miami’s season to rest harder than Ray Finkle did.
HOUSTON ML
I’m so invested in this game I can’t even stand it. As a Bears fan, a Houston win and Bears loss would give Chicago the first pick, and I think this underdog win by Lovie Smith’s Texans is a gift to his old city. Indy is starting Sam Ehlinger at QB, and by God, this might be some of the worst football we’ll see all year. Can’t wait.
MINNESOTA (-9.5)
Speaking of the Bears, how perfect is it that they’ll end their season with Nathan Peterman taking snaps under center until he is completely demolished behind the offensive line? I can’t think of a better metaphor for the season as a whole. Minnesota still has seeding to play for, and I think they spend the better part of 3 quarters laying it on thick. The line is lower, but I teased it up a bit to get plus odds, and I’m also considering laying smaller bets on an even wider margin of victory. This should be a bloodbath.
LSPOTW: DETROIT ML
Fuck Aaron Rodgers, that’s why.
Last Week: 3-1
Season: 31-70
LSPOTW: 8/20
