I have to talk about bingo this week, as it was one of the highlights of my weekend. Last year, I came up with a fun, little bingo game as a way to visualize just how random the tight end position is in fantasy football. Since then, Evan Hoovler has helped me take fantasy bingo from a fun concept to a modest charity fundraiser. Last week’s charity of choice was Frankie’s Friends: a non-profit that provides financial assistance grants to family-owned pets in need of lifesaving emergency care. With the help of our friends on the Football Absurdity Discord, we were able to raise $360 for Frankie’s Friends. Not bad for a bunch of football nuts playing bingo. We’ll be playing bingo again in a few weeks. In the meantime, here’s Erin and my Week 5 start sit picks.
Sam Darnold vs. Philadephia Eagles or Daniel Jones at Dallas Cowboys?
Bryan’s Take: Sam Darnold has been one of the most pleasant surprises of the season. What a difference a Gase (or lack thereof) makes. Darnold leads the NFL with five rushing TDs. There’s obviously a question of sustainability there, but there’s no question that the Eagles’ defense stinks. The problem is that they stink more against the run than the pass, so Carolina may run the ball more than they pass it. For Daniel Jones, there is reason for optimism after he just put up the quietest 400-yard performance ever. Trusting Danny Boy is a total crapshoot, but if you’re picking between him and Darnold, you want a home run. Start Daniel Jones in Week 5.
Erin’s Take: I think I like Sam Darnold here. I’ve never known a bad Sam. I mean, there was the Son of Sam, and I know he was pure evil, but he was the son of Sam. I’m sure Sam was a good guy. Daniel Jones sounds like the kind of kid whose mother would use her spit to make his hair lay flat. Start Sam Darnold in Week 5.
Trey Sermon at Arizona Cardinals or Damien Williams at Las Vegas Raiders?
Bryan’s Take: Trey Sermon’s success this week hinges on Eli Mitchell’s availability. Mitchell was limited in practice on Wednesday, but pay attention to injury reports from Friday on. If Mitchell plays, obviously Sermon’s ceiling will be lower. Damien Williams gets the nod and will keep the nod, for the next several weeks while David Montgomery heals up. I like Williams projected volume and lack of competition for touches in this one. Justin Fields may be a liability, but let’s keep hope alive. Start Damien Williams in Week 5.
Erin’s Take: Bryan and I were having a discussion about religion and spirituality tonight, and then Trey Sermon pops up on the list. I’m not particularly religious, but I can’t deny that kind of cosmic connection. For some reason, Damien Williams makes me think of Damon Wayans. Like, the Williams Brothers could be a bizarro version of the Wayans Brothers. Something tells me the Williams Brothers aren’t as funny. Start Trey Sermon in Week 5.
DeVonta Smith at Carolina Panthers or Jaylen Waddle at Tampa Bay Buccaneers?
Bryan’s Take: Fresh off his first 100-yard game, DeVonta Smith gets a Panthers defense that just gave up four passing TDs to Dak Prescott and company. On the flip side, Jaylen Waddle is coming off the worst game of his super fresh NFL career. While it’s true that the Buccaneers can be thrown on, I’m not particularly excited about a Jacoby Brissett aerial attack. . Start Devonta Smith in Week 5.
Erin’s Take: This was almost a tricky one because I like both their first names: Devonta and Jaylen. It’s the last names that really sealed the deal. Smith is so common and boring, while Waddle just makes me smile. Also, I have a soft spot for kids who were teased because of their name, and I think growing up with the last name Waddle could have been brutal. Start Jaylen Waddle in Week 5.
Corey Davis at Atlanta Falcons or Jakobi Meyers at Houston Texans?
Bryan’s Take: Corey Davis looked pretty darn good last week, hauling in all four of his targets for 111 yards and a TD. It seems like the return of Jamison Crowder may have brought a little life to the Jets’ mostly poopy passing game. The Jets’ running game, however, is still undeniably poopy. Jakobi Meyers and Mac Jones are starting to develop some nice chemistry, but Meyers has been held scoreless all year. He’s sure to get his targets this week, just like every week, but I think Davis has a slightly better shot at finding the end zone. Start Corey Davis in Week 5.
Erin’s Take: I really like the name Jakobi. It’s just hipster enough without being overly obnoxious. Like a long, full, well-manicured beard without a cartoony handlebar mustache attached. I don’t particularly like Corey Davis because he sounds like the kind of hipster that wears pleated front khakis ironically. Start Jakobi Meyers in Week 5.