If it weren’t for an untimely (and completely hidden from the world) Deshaun Watson injury last season on top of injuries to J.J. Watt and Whitney Mercilus, we could have been talking about the AFC South champion Houston Texans. Instead, God doesn’t let them have nice things and they fell apart with Tom Savage under center for the back half of the year. The owner felt so horribly for the situation Bill O’Brien ended up in that he got a contract extension that may or may not have been completely deserved. The disaster draft comes for them at a bad time, as they are currently a team on the rise. This core was one of the easiest groups of no doubters I’ve put together so far. They have a ton of quality talent and are going to lose some good pieces after this disaster draft. Let’s see who they protect.
Players lost to free agency: Jonathon Joseph, Marcus Gilchrist, Breno Giacomini
The No Doubters:
| Player | POS. | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 |
| J.J. Watt | DE | $15,000,000 | $15,000,000 | $15,500,000 | $17,500,000 | UFA |
| DeAndre Hopkins | WR | $14,000,000 | $14,000,000 | $14,000,000 | $15,000,000 | $13,915,000 |
| Jadeveon Clowney | OLB | $13,846,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Kareem Jackson | CB | $9,000,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Jeff Allen | G | $7,375,000 | $7,750,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Whitney Mercilus | OLB | $5,956,250 | $7,300,000 | UFA | – | – |
| C.J. Fiedorowicz | TE | $5,156,250 | $5,750,000 | $5,750,000 | UFA | – |
| Deshaun Watson | QB | $3,148,700 | $3,778,440 | $4,408,181 | – | UFA |
| D’Onta Foreman | RB | $778,371 | $868,371 | $958,371 | UFA | – |
| Benardrick McKinney | ILB | $1,700,722 | UFA | – | – | – |
Keeping the core of this defense together was both a no-brainer and extraordinarily expensive for 2018. Watt, Clowney and Jackson all make a pretty penny next year. Luckily, the last year of McKinney’s rookie contract keeps that cost down. Keeping Nuk Hopkins was also a slam dunk, though Watt & Hopkins together are going to cause salary cap problems when they’re both making backup QB money in 2021. Jeff Allen is one of the best guards in the league. Then we get to the young guns. Watson, Foreman and Fiedorowicz (who just got his contract extension, which is why he is here) will run the Texans just under 10 million bucks next year. That’s nice when you have to pay big money elsewhere, so they’re definitely in for the mix of talent and price.
The More-Than-Likely Staying:
| Player | POS. | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 |
| Brian Cushing | ILB | $8,840,625 | $9,500,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Lamar Miller | RB | $6,750,000 | $7,250,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Andre Hal | FS | $3,750,000 | $3,750,000 | $3,750,000 | UFA | – |
| Derek Newton | RT | $3,500,000 | $3,750,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Kevin Johnson | CB | $3,197,541 | – | UFA | – | – |
| Will Fuller | WR | $2,772,085 | $3,234,100 | – | UFA | – |
For Brian Cushing to stay, the Texans will have to pry him off the set of whatever 80’s teen movie he got cast in as the bully this week. Miller might end up a cap casualty and has the most tenuous grasp on this slot (and his job in 2018). Hal, Newton, Johnson and Fuller are all the secondary pieces you need to put a title into your hands. While the Texans won’t do that anytime soon, a team can still hope, can’t they? Fuller averaged five receiving touchdowns for every pass thrown his way with Watson and has literally never caught a touchdown before then (don’t fact check that), so nobody missed Watson more than Fuller did.
The Leftovers:
These guys are currently Texans. Some of them will become Mexicans, some will become Missourians (Missourites? Miseries?). Here is the scrapple, the leftovers, the refrigerator casserole of the Houston Texans roster for the 2018 disaster draft.
| Player | POS. | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 |
| Ryan Griffin | TE | $2,468,750 | $2,750,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Nick Martin | C | $1,302,265 | $1,519,310 | UFA | – | – |
| Zach Cunningham | ILB | $1,016,305 | $1,219,566 | $1,422,829 | UFA | – |
| Jon Weeks | LS | $965,000 | $980,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Braxton Miller | WR | $827,275 | $924,778 | UFA | – | – |
| Brandon Dunn | DE | $790,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Tyler Ervin | RB | $766,892 | $856,893 | UFA | – | – |
| Christian Covington | DE | $727,622 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Taylor Heinicke | QB | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| MyCole Pruitt | TE | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Kendall Lamm | RT | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Ibraheim Campbell | SS | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Julie’n Davenport | T | $701,605 | $791,605 | $881,605 | UFA | – |
| D.J. Reader | DT | $683,845 | $773,845 | UFA | – | – |
| Carlos Watkins | DT | $659,912 | $749,912 | $839,912 | UFA | – |
| Joel Heath | DE | $633,668 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Stephen Anderson | TE | $631,668 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Brennan Scarlett | OLB | $631,668 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Cobi Hamilton | WR | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
| DeAndrew White | WR | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Marcus Hardison | DT | $630,000 | $720,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Kurtis Drummond | SS | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Treston Decoud | S | $617,337 | $707,337 | $797,337 | UFA | – |
| Kyle Fuller | C | $572,304 | $662,304 | $752,304 | UFA | – |
| Dylan Cole | ILB | $559,000 | $649,000 | RFA | – | – |
| Matt Godin | DE | $557,666 | $647,668 | RFA | – | – |
| Ka’imi Fairbairn | K | $557,500 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Deante’ Gray | WR | $555,666 | $645,668 | RFA | – | – |
| Chris Thompson | WR | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Chad Slade | G | $555,000 | $645,000 | RFA | – | – |
| Jarrod Clements | DT | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| LaTroy Lewis | ILB | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Gimel President | OLB | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Montay Crockett | WR | $480,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Troymaine Pope | RB | $480,000 | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Zach Conque | TE | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Ryan Malleck | TE | $480,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Jevoni Robinson | TE | $480,000 | $570,000 | – | – | – |
| Erik Austell | T | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| David Quessenberry | LT | $480,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Jake Rodgers | T | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Kennan Gilchrist | OLB | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Bryce Jones | CB | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Josh Thornton | CB | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Dee Virgin | CB | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
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