Oh my God, the Indianapolis Colts are so bad. They’re next-level bad. They are horrible. I can’t even figure out how to make heads or tails of what they are doing here. Anyway, here’s their roster and who they are protecting for a disaster draft. Really, a disaster draft is everything they’ve had since drafting Andrew Luck, FOLKS!
Lost to Free Agency: Frank Gore, Darius Butler, Adam Viniateri, Barkevious Mingo, Kamar Aiken
The No Doubters:
| Player | POS. | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 |
| Andrew Luck | QB | $24,400,000 | $27,525,000 | $28,400,000 | $21,000,000 | UFA |
| T.Y. Hilton | WR | $13,000,000 | $15,000,000 | $14,542,000 | UFA | – |
| Anthony Castonzo | LT | $10,800,000 | $11,050,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Malik Hooker | S | $2,863,615 | $3,436,338 | $4,009,063 | – | UFA |
| Jabaal Sheard | OLB | $7,500,000 | $8,000,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Jack Doyle | TE | $5,218,750 | $5,650,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Margus Hunt | DT | $2,000,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Quincy Wilson | CB | $1,310,517 | $1,572,621 | $1,834,724 | UFA | – |
| Henry Anderson | DE | $872,919 | UFA | – | – | – |
Andrew Luck is Schrodinger’s quarterback, which is exactly the reference that now-150 pound book worm will get and appreciate. T.Y. Hilton is a good football player, and Jabaal Sheard is the only elite player they have on their team. Jack Doyle gets a lot of pub in fantasy football circles. Full disclosure: the rest of these guys I haven’t heard of outside of Margus Hunt, but they had the highest Madden Pro Football Focus scores for their cost, so here we are.
The More-Than-Likely Staying:
| Player | POS. | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 |
| Johnathan Hankins | DT | $8,000,000 | $8,500,000 | UFA | – | – |
| John Simon | OLB | $3,281,250 | $4,000,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Al Woods | DT | $2,000,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Jacoby Brissett | QB | $760,076 | $915,114 | UFA | – | – |
| Clayton Geathers | FS | $838,482 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Marlon Mack | RB | $659,912 | $749,912 | $839,912 | UFA | – |
| Matthias Farley | SS | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
The Colts have a cheap player problem, as in, too many players are terrible, but cheap. This is no different. Hankins is good, Simon is decent. Woods is okay. The rest of these guys are cheap, but not great. They fill out the roster because they have to keep sixteen players from their trash roster.
The Leftovers:
Enjoy the garbage in the disaster draft, Conquistadors and Arches.
| QUARTERBACKS | POS. | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 |
| Ryan Kelly | C | $2,850,267 | $3,325,315 | – | UFA | – |
| T.J. Green | S | $1,136,519 | $1,325,941 | UFA | – | – |
| Robert Turbin | RB | $1,112,500 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Le’Raven Clark | RT | $836,433 | $926,433 | UFA | – | – |
| Tarell Basham | OLB | $798,964 | $896,464 | $986,464 | UFA | – |
| Caraun Reid | DE | $790,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Hassan Ridgeway | DE | $770,055 | $860,057 | UFA | – | – |
| Antonio Morrison | ILB | $759,976 | $849,978 | UFA | – | – |
| Denzell Good | RT | $718,196 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Anthony Johnson | DE | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Mark Glowinski | G | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Jeremiah George | ILB | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| George Winn | RB | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| Tyreek Burwell | T | $705,000 | UFA | – | – | – |
| James Wright | WR | $705,000 | $805,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Joe Haeg | G | $690,602 | $780,604 | UFA | – | – |
| Grover Stewart | DT | $659,912 | $749,912 | $839,912 | UFA | – |
| D.J. White | CB | $639,000 | $729,500 | UFA | – | – |
| Joey Mbu | DT | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Josh Ferguson | RB | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Ronald Martin | SS | $630,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Anthony Fabiano | T | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Ross Travis | TE | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Seantavius Jones | WR | $630,000 | $720,000 | UFA | – | – |
| Chester Rogers | WR | $630,000 | RFA | – | – | – |
| Nate Hairston | CB | $621,946 | $711,946 | $801,947 | UFA | – |
| Anthony Walker Jr. | ILB | $621,353 | $711,353 | $801,354 | UFA | – |
| Rigoberto Sanchez | P | $559,000 | $649,000 | RFA | – | – |
| Darrell Daniels | TE | $558,333 | $648,334 | RFA | – | – |
| Deyshawn Bond | G | $556,000 | $646,000 | RFA | – | – |
| Kenny Moore | CB | $555,000 | $645,000 | RFA | – | – |
| Joshua Perry | ILB | $555,000 | $645,000 | RFA | – | – |
| Jermaine Grace | OLB | $555,000 | $645,000 | RFA | – | – |
| Brad Kaaya | QB | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Jason Vander Laan | TE | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Harvey Binford | WR | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| K.J. Brent | WR | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Krishawn Hogan | WR | $555,000 | ERFA | – | – | – |
| Johnathan Calvin | DE | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Arthur Miley | DE | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Darnell Sankey | LB | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Phillip Walker | QB | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Isaiah Williams | T | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Mo Alie-Cox | TE | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Dres Anderson | WR | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Justice Liggins | WR | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Kolby Listenbee | WR | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| DeAndre Smelter | WR | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
| Robert Tonyan Jr. | WR | $480,000 | $570,000 | ERFA | – | – |
