Top 5 Complaints of Josh Gordon’s Handler

Keeps trying to sell me Michael Floyd’s “gently used” car
Insists “being on the Browns” is a valid reason for a marijuana prescription for “pain management”
Keeps blaming his problems on “that Trump asshole,” even though he was kicked out of the league in 2014
Keeps anxiously asking when Johnny Manziel will show up to his reinstatement party
Constantly insists on being traded to Seahawks or Broncos