Thursday Night Farceball: Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals

The NFL’s second presentation of Thursday Night Football for the 2018 season seemed destined to be a second-half snooze fest. A.J. Green scored three touchdowns in the first seventeen minutes of the game, and the Ravens had none. In true Thursday Night Football fashion, however, the game did not go how we thought. Football Absurdity covers Thursday Night Football a little differently than most game reviews. We focus on the farcical, the weird, and wild. The things that make you laugh (or cry). The Bengals ultimately held on to win 34-23, despite Marvin Lewis’s best efforts. Without further ado, we present… Week Two Thursday Night Farceball: Ravens at Bengals.

 

TOTO, WE AREN’T IN BUFFALO ANYMORE
Yea, yea I know they hosted the Bills. Things didn’t go well for the Ravens to start the game, a stark contrast to last week’s complete unraveling of the Buffalo Bills.

 

A.J. GREEN MORE LIKE A.J. TDIN’
I’m so sorry, but A.J. Green put on a freaking clinic and outscored the Ravens by himself into well into the second half. Just marvel at these scores. This is a different kind of absurd.

 

STEVE SMITH, GUEST LECTURER
The best play of the night was when we were all off peeing and getting snacks. Michael Irvin, whose best skills these days divide equally into hootin’ and hollerin’, inadvertently accused Steve Smith of not being a good route runner. Ice up, son.

 

 

THAT’S NOT HOW YOU SPIKE A FOOTBALL
Andy Dalton had his pass knocked down on fourth down, and his offensive line had a heads up play.

 

That was all the weird and unbelievable in Thursday Night Football this week. It was pretty mild on the farce, but that’s certain to change next week as the Jets take on the Browns.

About Jeff Krisko

You can follow me on twitter, @jmkrisko for the same lukewarm takes you read here.

View all posts by Jeff Krisko →