NFL Power Rankings, Week Thirteen – Triskaidekaphillyia

At this point, I just need to etch the top two teams and the bottom team in the power rankings into stone. The Eagles and Patriots are putting on a masterclass at the top, and the Browns are getting master blasted at the bottom. A couple teams stopped getting the benefit of the doubt and took a steep tumble in this edition of the power rankings. Only four more to go before the playoffs and I am free from my power rankings-induced nightmares!

Rank	Last Week	Team	Thoughts
1	1	Philadelphia Eagles	Turn up the sliders on Madden already. You made your point; try to challenge yourself.
2	2	New England Patriots	Another week another trouncing. This is getting boring.
3	3	Pittsburgh Steelers	Barely beat a bad Packers team but that’s what they do. Just cancel the AFC until Pats-Steelers in the AFCCG.
4	5	Minnesota Vikings	Chose Thanksgiving to make a statement game to solidify their grip on the NFC North.
5	7	Los Angeles Rams	They lost to the Vikings in their first real test, but beat the Saints in their second test.
6	4	New Orleans Saints	Saints have taken a slight stumble recently, and it just comes down to flat out believing in the Vikings more now.
7	6	Jacksonville Jaguars	The Jaguars continue to lose games started by Blaine Gabbert.
8	10	Carolina Panthers	Quietly snuck up on the league, tying the Saints for the best record in the NFC South.
9	9	Atlanta Falcons	Maybe the Falcons want to let Devonta Freeman rest a bit longer if Tevin Coleman can play like that.
10	8	Detroit Lions	Their complete lack of a running game puts a significant cap on their potential.
11	11	Washington Redskins	They were lucky to play the Giants on Thanksgiving when most people were in food comas.
12	15	Seattle Seahawks	Like the Lions, their lack of a running game is going to be their undoing.
13	16	Los Angeles Chargers	Completely dismantled the Cowboys and Philip Rivers is limiting his errors.
14	14	Tennessee Titans	Adoree Jackson, a DB, is their most explosive playmaker. But they could be playoff bound in a weak AFC.
15	21	Buffalo Bills	Wait you mean Tyrod Taylor gives them a better chance to win than Nathan Peterman no way.
16	13	Dallas Cowboys	Dak’s brain is broken without Ezekiel Elliott. Dez isn’t an NFL WR1 anymore.
17	17	Baltimore Ravens	Their offense takes 25 seconds to set up for a 3 yard run or 4 yard catch in the flat. Wasting a great defense.
18	18	Cincinnati Bengals	Feeding Joe Mixon finally paid off, but I don’t trust that offense or defense. Completely average.
19	12	Kansas City Chiefs	I’m done giving them the benefit of the doubt. Take a tumble.
20	19	Oakland Raiders	Won the AFC West slap fight with Denver but lost Michael Crabtree at a critical juncture. Their season is toast.
21	22	Tampa Bay Buccaneers	Check it out… Suckaneers. Injuries tore the offense, that was supposed to be explosive, apart. Better luck next year.
22	20	New York Jets	Jetsed it up against the Panthers, but were competitive at least.
23	25	Arizona Cardinals	Blaine Gabbert is tricking them into thinking he might be the future.
24	26	Green Bay Packers	Brett Hundley’s reps are paying off, but he’s still not good.
25	24	Houston Texans	Imagine being a 2017 Houston Texans fan and going from the Deshaun Watson offense to… this.
26	29	Indianapolis Colts	Were a Marlon Mack fumble away from winning, and are just playing out the string.
27	28	Chicago Bears	The entire team rushed for 18 feet. They didn’t even make it from a hoop to the three-point line on an NBA court.
28	23	Denver Broncos	Siemian, Osweiler, Lynch. It doesn’t matter. Blow it all up, start over next year.
29	30	San Francisco 49ers	It might finally be Jimmy G time, and he’s thrown 2 passes so far. Both beautiful. One for a touchdown.
30	27	New York Giants	They’re actively terrible.
31	31	Miami Dolphins	They’re just boringly terrible, unlike the Giants.
32	32	Cleveland Browns	A wise man once said, “YOU ARE A FACTORY OF SADNESS.”