Welcome back to The Degenerates Gambit! Once again, please remember that these articles are for fun, and while I love writing them and gambling on football, if you or someone you know is addicted and needs help, please get help or get help for them. The national helpline number is 1-800-522-4700.
Ugh, another 2-2 week. We were so close to getting it all locked in! It’s been a long week over here at Degenerate Enterprises, but I think I’ve found the secret: bet on outcomes that will actually happen, not what you want to happen.
Let’s find out if it works. If it doesn’t I’ll have to wear the crown of “Doesn’t Know Ball”, and I’ll be calling several hotlines.
Miami/Indianapolis UNDER 43.5 (-110, Caesars)
Anthony Richardson is expected to be back, which makes this under risky because he can do two things that harm the under: throw costly interceptions, and throw gigantic bombs. We have another week of Tyler Huntley on the other side, which means I’m not too worried about the Miami side of this matchup hitting their implied total. I think both offenses run the ball into the ground here, and as a result, we see another terrible slugfest that even the biggest fans of both these franchises want to just be over.
LA Chargers/Arizona UNDER 44 (-110, Caesars)
I co-host a podcast with a Chargers fan, and I gotta tell you: this season truly embodies the phrase “even winning feels bad.” It’s one thing to win ugly, it’s quite another to win in the way BIG JIM’S boys are winning. Last week they got a defense that lost their best piece early on in the game and pulled it out. I don’t think they’ll need to throw as much here, and since Arizona’s wheels have fallen off way earlier than most of us expected, I expect a 20-16 type affair that pleases nobody.
Cincinnati -5.5 (-108, Fanduel)
I know history says that Cleveland has Joe Burrow’s number, and though Cincy won on MNF, it wasn’t super convincing. They are playing on the road with short rest, which is also pointing towards Cleveland covering the spread. However, none of these factors have taken into account exactly how bad the Browns are this year. The Badman is playing QB so badly that his EPA is floating around JaMarcus Russell levels. The Bengals come in and whip ass this week.
Kansas City Moneyline (+102, DraftKings)
I don’t bet against the reigning champs, no matter the opponent, especially when I can get plus odds. San Francisco and Kansas City are two teams beat up beyond belief, and when good teams in a spot of bad luck go head to head, I always side with coaching. In this matchup, I’ll take the dude doing dumbass insurance commercials rather than the one yelling at his players regarding the color of their shorts.
Last Week: 2-2
Year to Date: 11-13
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Tony Martin. Author. Dreamweaver. Visionary, plus actor. He writes for Football Absurdity and co-hosts the THfantaC Podcast. Bet along at: https://signupexpert.com/thfantac
