Deals, Deals, DEALS! November is Quarterback month here at Football Absurdity! Our 2019 models need to be cleared to make room for the incoming 2020s, and that means we are offering ABSURD-ly good availability on quality week 12 quarterback sleepers. Less than 50% owned quarterback sleepers? We got em! Less than 30% owned quarterback sleepers? We’ve got the most in the tri-county area. We’ve even got multiple models in the under-12% range! Come on into Football Absurdity’s gently-used Quarterback sleeper lot and get your fantasy team moving, today! VROOOM!
Week 12 Quarterback Sleeper:
Sam Darnold vs Oakland (34% Owned)
You: Man, I wish there were some upstart quarterback on the waiver wire. Some heat-gaining pass slinger that has improved for the last few weeks. Maybe someone going against a bottom-ten defense. But they’d also have to have a great last week, at least 4-TD sand 292 passing yards. Plus his name would have to rhyme with a famous TV show pig and have a sexy, fire-colored mane (the man, not the pig).
Me: That’s hyper specific, and a little bit off-putting. Still, let me put you behind the wheel of a 2019 Sam Darnold. He’s got all of the requirements you wanted and very few miles. The previous owner even rested him for four straight weeks in the beginning of the season. He’s got a home matchup vs. Oakland that has the possibility of turning into a high-scoring shootout I can’t possibly figure out how to make into a used car metaphor!
Week 12 Quarterback Sleeper:
Ryan Tannehill vs Jacksonville (26% Owned)
Let me guess, you want a QB with some zip and flash, but the old ball-and-chain is insisting on a practical model with a high floor? I knew it as soon as you two walked in and you immediately faked a phone call and claimed her sister was in the hospital with a life-and-death allergic reaction to the exact same brand of aftershave I can smell on you. You’re a crafty fantasy player, no doubt, which is why I’ve got a rare find that’s sure to make both of you happy.
I don’t recommend the 2019 refurbished Ryan Tannehill to just anyone: Most people are scared of the excitement afforded by the head of an offense with a lightning-strong running game and two big-play wide receivers. She’ll love the four-consecutive games with over 20 fantasy points, and you can tell your golf buddies you got Tannehill for his league-leading 128.0 passer rating in the red zone over the last four games.
Week 12 Quarterback Sleeper:
Jeff Driskel at Washington (11% Owned)
You’re a guy who likes to make his own roads. Your 9-to-5, between-the-hashmarks life is just to fund your weekend warrior (well, Sunday warrior) adventures. Let me give you the newest line in Jeff Driskels. While it doesn’t have the storied history of older models, it goes where most Staffords don’t: Rushing past the tackles to pick up insane fantasy points. How insane? Try 31 fantasy points last week, including 51 rushing yards and a score on the ground. You’ll reconnect with your spirit wolf bounding over hapless Washington defensemen. If you start two QBs you need to run, don’t walk, into Jeff Driskel immediately.
Week 12 Quarterback Deep Sleeper:
Dwayne Haskins vs Detroit (4% Owned)
No down payment? No credit? Multiple convictions for hit and run (that’s sacking the quarterback and running in the fumble for a touchdown)? I’ve got a QB for you. Hop on in the 2019 Dwayne Haskins and let’s take him for a test drive.
Notice the freedom of a quarterback whose team is giving him control of the offense: That’s 0-to-35 completions in under 4 weeks.
Okay, go ahead and pass that slow-moving Mason Rudolph, there. Last week, Haskins scored more points than Rudolph has all year. Feel the acceleration having Terry McLaurin affords you, it’s a shock this beauty is available for so cheap.
Alright, go ahead and park it in Detroit’s backfield, where Haskins will be spending a lot of time this weekend as they allow the 4th most fantasy points to quarterbacks.
I can see you’re still hesitant. That’s important, Haskins is a quarterback for a thinking owner. I’ll tell you what, let’s sign this deal now and I’ll throw in a Derrius Guice. This stud target for dump-offs will get Haskins out of any jam the offensive line may cause. Don’t tell my boss I’m doing this, because my boss is a miserable cheapskate who may or may not own Haskins’ team.
For free fantasy football advice, join our Discord and follow us on Twitter
You can find the rest of our Week 12 advice here (be sure to check back as the week develops!)
[Photo Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/promich/18199053336]
