NFL Power Rankings, Week Ten: Fifty Eagles Burgers

Imagine fifty Eagles burgers on a plate. Power rankings work the same way. We are finally into the double-digit weeks, and that means that power rankings are starting to go by the wayside for playoff pictures. This is the most exciting part of the year! Unless you’re a Browns fan, or Niners fan. Or Bucs fan. Or really just look after twenty and those fans haven’t nothing left to live for.



Last Week Team Thoughts
1 1 Philadelphia Eagles Dropped a 50 burger against Denver and made it look effortless, there isn’t much else to say about the NFL’s last one-loss team.
2 3 New England Patriots Tom Brady this week said there are positive and negative electrolytes and they can cancel out and god it’s a good thing he’s pretty. (BYE)
3 4 Los Angeles Rams You can’t take anything from this week’s game, just that the Giants have completely given up.
4 2 Kansas City Chiefs They’ve been on the skids lately, and their offense is having trouble overcoming their defense.
5 6 Jacksonville Jaguars The team can win with Blake Bortles, but they’ll go as far as the defense takes them.
6 10 Dallas Cowboys Dak is sneakily a top-five QB and the defense is doing just enough. The Zeke suspension looms for the 10,000th consecutive week.
7 8 Pittsburgh Steelers Will Martavis Bryant ever catch a pass as a Steeler again? (BYE)
8 15 New Orleans Saints Kamara is Creole for Sproles.
9 13 Washington Redskins The NFC East has become an absolute wrecking ball and also the Giants.
10 14 Detroit Lions They need to fix their ten zone play calling and execution or they’re getting bounced in the first round.
11 5 Seattle Seahawks The Legion of Boom is no longer feared, and Duane Brown didn’t fix the offensive line.
12 7 Buffalo Bills The Jets undid them this week. Likely a one-week aberration, what with Kelvin Benjamin now in tow.
13 16 Minnesota Vikings I was told I was too low on Minnesota. I’m not sure I really agree (BYE).
14 12 Carolina Panthers Very lucky they were playing the Falcons.
15 11 Atlanta Falcons Their offense is a mess, no two ways around it.
16 20 Oakland Raiders MISSING: Amari Cooper
17 19 Tennessee Titans Just because they aren’t as good as we thought, doesn’t mean they suck.
18 17 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Just put them out of their misery at this point.
19 22 Denver Broncos This team went from the Super Bowl to absolute garbage nearly as fast as the Niners did.
20 18 Cincinnati Bengals They’re spiraling out of control; Bill Lazor’s been figured out.
21 23 New York Jets Josh McCown is the King of just enough bleeding into too much.
22 21 Los Angeles Chargers Their attendance is terrible, maybe they should move. San Diego needs a team.
23 27 Arizona Cardinals Very little credit for beating the 49ers via giving 2017 Adrian Peterson 30+ carries.
24 24 Baltimore Ravens The league’s most inconsistent team, bar none.
25 25 Chicago Bears Waleed couldn’t get hurt this week! (BYE)
26 26 Green Bay Packers Brett Hundley will not save you.
27 31 Miami Dolphins 3 TDs, 300+ yards, with broken ribs. You do you Cutler.
28 9 Houston Texans No Deshaun Watson, no J.J. Watt, no Whitney Mercilus. They’re pointless now, they’re toast.
29 30 Indianapolis Colts Gave up the ghost and IRed Luck. Pagano is now the Tank Commander.
30 28 New York Giants Ben McAdoo is a coach without answers, and should be a coach without a team.
31 29 San Francisco 49ers Cancel the 2017 49ers.
32 32 Cleveland Browns The Browns can’t lose on a Bye week.

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