Imagine fifty Eagles burgers on a plate. Power rankings work the same way. We are finally into the double-digit weeks, and that means that power rankings are starting to go by the wayside for playoff pictures. This is the most exciting part of the year! Unless you’re a Browns fan, or Niners fan. Or Bucs fan. Or really just look after twenty and those fans haven’t nothing left to live for.
|
Rank |
Last Week | Team | Thoughts |
| 1 | 1 | Philadelphia Eagles | Dropped a 50 burger against Denver and made it look effortless, there isn’t much else to say about the NFL’s last one-loss team. |
| 2 | 3 | New England Patriots | Tom Brady this week said there are positive and negative electrolytes and they can cancel out and god it’s a good thing he’s pretty. (BYE) |
| 3 | 4 | Los Angeles Rams | You can’t take anything from this week’s game, just that the Giants have completely given up. |
| 4 | 2 | Kansas City Chiefs | They’ve been on the skids lately, and their offense is having trouble overcoming their defense. |
| 5 | 6 | Jacksonville Jaguars | The team can win with Blake Bortles, but they’ll go as far as the defense takes them. |
| 6 | 10 | Dallas Cowboys | Dak is sneakily a top-five QB and the defense is doing just enough. The Zeke suspension looms for the 10,000th consecutive week. |
| 7 | 8 | Pittsburgh Steelers | Will Martavis Bryant ever catch a pass as a Steeler again? (BYE) |
| 8 | 15 | New Orleans Saints | Kamara is Creole for Sproles. |
| 9 | 13 | Washington Redskins | The NFC East has become an absolute wrecking ball and also the Giants. |
| 10 | 14 | Detroit Lions | They need to fix their ten zone play calling and execution or they’re getting bounced in the first round. |
| 11 | 5 | Seattle Seahawks | The Legion of Boom is no longer feared, and Duane Brown didn’t fix the offensive line. |
| 12 | 7 | Buffalo Bills | The Jets undid them this week. Likely a one-week aberration, what with Kelvin Benjamin now in tow. |
| 13 | 16 | Minnesota Vikings | I was told I was too low on Minnesota. I’m not sure I really agree (BYE). |
| 14 | 12 | Carolina Panthers | Very lucky they were playing the Falcons. |
| 15 | 11 | Atlanta Falcons | Their offense is a mess, no two ways around it. |
| 16 | 20 | Oakland Raiders | MISSING: Amari Cooper |
| 17 | 19 | Tennessee Titans | Just because they aren’t as good as we thought, doesn’t mean they suck. |
| 18 | 17 | Tampa Bay Buccaneers | Just put them out of their misery at this point. |
| 19 | 22 | Denver Broncos | This team went from the Super Bowl to absolute garbage nearly as fast as the Niners did. |
| 20 | 18 | Cincinnati Bengals | They’re spiraling out of control; Bill Lazor’s been figured out. |
| 21 | 23 | New York Jets | Josh McCown is the King of just enough bleeding into too much. |
| 22 | 21 | Los Angeles Chargers | Their attendance is terrible, maybe they should move. San Diego needs a team. |
| 23 | 27 | Arizona Cardinals | Very little credit for beating the 49ers via giving 2017 Adrian Peterson 30+ carries. |
| 24 | 24 | Baltimore Ravens | The league’s most inconsistent team, bar none. |
| 25 | 25 | Chicago Bears | Waleed couldn’t get hurt this week! (BYE) |
| 26 | 26 | Green Bay Packers | Brett Hundley will not save you. |
| 27 | 31 | Miami Dolphins | 3 TDs, 300+ yards, with broken ribs. You do you Cutler. |
| 28 | 9 | Houston Texans | No Deshaun Watson, no J.J. Watt, no Whitney Mercilus. They’re pointless now, they’re toast. |
| 29 | 30 | Indianapolis Colts | Gave up the ghost and IRed Luck. Pagano is now the Tank Commander. |
| 30 | 28 | New York Giants | Ben McAdoo is a coach without answers, and should be a coach without a team. |
| 31 | 29 | San Francisco 49ers | Cancel the 2017 49ers. |
| 32 | 32 | Cleveland Browns | The Browns can’t lose on a Bye week. |
